COVID ReHash House Harriers

#323 : The Mazda Run
2026-06-16 18:30 - 20:00 (Australia/Melbourne) | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
Hash Trash: Run #323 – The Mazda Run
Off the back of arguably one of the best virgin runs in hash history, our expectations were high. Naturally, reality hit hard. Not one but two hares failed to even set a run. The only saving grace for the evening was a questionably priced port served out of a goon bag at the drink stop. Classic.
We all headed out as one pack; and in true Arsenic fashion, a slight uphill was immediately put into play. Fuck me days, that is pretty much how long it took to get up there. Following along on a loosely outlined verbal trail, our other master guide, Jelly, led from behind. He successfully managed to steer Fresh Meat, Eno, Pepe and Derro down a fire trail. Yes, you read that right, our happy wanderer was actually back. Exciting stuff.
The pack eventually split after missing a log of doom; an infraction that was later reverse-charged onto poor Eno, because apparently it did not qualify as a true log of doom. Despite the chaos, we all somehow landed up at 5 points for that infamous port stop. Lo and behold, Baah Sinister was already there waiting with Arsenic. Talk about being late to the party.
The On-Afters
Back at the On-afters, we got to enjoy Fresh Meat’s new fire pit. Because our “smashed Avo” was in charge of the grub, we were treated to vegan burgers. Do not panic though; some real meat was snuck in there for good measure.
The real highlight of the evening was a bit of political drama. Our previous GM called out our current GM for missing the historic virgin run and stripped him of the Yellow Jacket on the spot. A clearly visually wounded Pepe Le Spew (aka Caca) thought it was entirely unfair that this little absence resulted in a full impeachment; but he soon lit up like a little boy the day before Christmas when he was presented with the new official Hash GM jacket. What a beauty it is too; it even comes with an attached bottle opener.
Special Mentions

WTFAI: Our official firestarter is going under the knife for a procedure on Thursday so he has completely stopped drinking before the big day. Consequently, his numerous aqua down downs were a bit of a washout. Mind you, it was nothing like his actual washout; I mean wipeout; from last week. Thankfully he was only wet on the inside this time, and it was highly noted that he was wearing quick-drying shorts this week instead of the infamous Jorts.

Arsenic: Speaking of caca, Arsenic managed to turn a Green Snake brown on the trail. He pulled off a full ballerina jump right over a snake; talk about a real log of doom.

For those of you currently watching your waistlines, brace yourselves. The co-hares will attempt to set another run next week, so stay tuned.
OnOn

#322 : The Un-Named Virgin Run
2026-06-09 18:30 - 20:30 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
And what a run it was; Tristan, our to-be-named hasher, wanted to show that he is worthy of being an esteemed member of the Covid Rehash.
After arranging an incredible pour down from the skies, our RA wanted to opt-out for some warm Nerang Pizza but still manned up and showed up to enjoy the glorious rain he created. The same cannot be said for Anthony Albanese, I mean Pepe; I had them confused due to their similar leadership style. Derro stayed home to lick his balls, but boy oh boy did they miss out.
Onto the Run
Tristan got laid by arguably one of the best virgins, I mean laid a virgin; oh fuck it, he had a great first run.
It started with a pre-run drink. Then he was considerate enough to create a bridge over troubled waters so that there was no excuse for checking out the creek and backing out. But there was still some backing out; WTFAI, who rocked up in a pair of denim shorts (Jorts), decided that he was too dry after crossing the bridge and went for a swim. After the referee checked the replay, it would appear he may have been assisted by the hare falling over and pulling him down, but that does not explain him getting up and throwing himself back in the drink again. Typical soccer supporter trying to get his opponent carded.
This was the first claret spill of the night as he had a hissy fit and went home to change his tampon and put on a dry pair of adult diapers, sorry, more jorts; later on he was charged for this, not the hissy fit, but for owning more than one pair of jorts! A red card served best!
The remaining runners and walkers continued. After a gruelling and very wet trail, we arrived at a drink stop. Our clever hare decided that this would be the point where the runners would continue on and the walkers would do a U-turn and return home.
After pushing through more off-trail bush and crossing another creek, the runners got to the end of their run and were greeted by another drink stop! Talk about overachieving.
The hare had advised at the start that due to the weather conditions he could not continue laying a trail home, so we then proceeded on the longest on-back in hash history. At this stage, further claret had been spilt by Baah Sinister and Fresh Meat. Not wanting to feel left out, the hare threw himself to the ground as if the ghost of WTFAI had tripped him up and joined the bleeders. This was indeed a yellow card moment.
The Aftermath
On arriving back, expecting to see the walkers, Ballbags and Arsenic, sitting waiting for us, we were a bit worried as they were not there. Thankfully WTFAI was there, (with a bottle of the Real McCoy), returned as it was previously mentioned, as both Eno and Tristan’s car keys were in his car. Instead of going to look for the lost hashers, we decided it was better to drink and snack.
Eventually the walkers arrived and we are pleased to say that even more claret had been spilt, after the RA decided to join the bleeders. So a total of four visual bleeds and one vaginal bleed means that five of the seven of us bled out; talk about a slaughter of a run. The only thing missing on this virgin run was Tits on the run.
It did not end there; Tristan’s wife decided we would need some warm comfort food and prepared a cock feed for us, sorry, a Coq pasta (Cocotte de poulet) that was super tasty.
All in all, virgin runs have been ruined, and arguably some normal ones too. Charges, raffles and a good time was had by all.
A huge well done to the should-be-named-by-now-but-hasn’t-so-maybe-this-is-his-hash-name-but-it-is-too-long-for-a-t-shirt-so-we-will-call-him-tristan-for-short on an incredible virgin run.
OnOn

#321 : The Countdown Run
2026-06-02 18:30 - 20:30 | Budds Beach, 33 River Drive, Budds Beach, Australia
We kicked things off at Budds Beach this time around. After last week’s absolute shenanigans trying to navigate our way out of Tom Rose, the committee collectively decided that sticking to tar and concrete was a much safer bet for everyone involved.
What was originally scheduled as a committee run quickly turned into a massive “aha!” moment for the pack. It turns out the “countdown” title wasn’t some cryptic masterpiece; it literally referred to 3, 2, 1, matching the exact number of the run. It didn’t take a high IQ to figure that one out, but tracking that logic seemed to be a monumental achievement for this group. Then again, they all seemed far more interested in slamming down chilli flavoured tequila than paying any attention to the incredible neurology transpiring right off the back of a full moon.
The Trail: Walkers, Runners and Parasitic Hares
A walk and a run were set for the night. The walkers headed off in one direction while the runners took another, eventually crossing paths at a beautifully planned intersection as we wound our way through into Surfers Paradise.
The runners managed to push through the bulk of their trail with a surprising lack of cheating and only a normal amount of shortcutting. The real hurdle was the constant irritation buzzing in the back of the hare’s mind that the local barbecues might get automatically switched off at 8:00 pm. As it turned out, the barbecues were still firing away at 9:00 pm. This doesn’t say much for our hare’s local knowledge, but he had just stepped off a plane from the UK where he was drowning himself in unpasteurised Guinness, so we can comfortably chalk it up to a severe case of Guinness brain.
The walkers had a brilliant time on what initially scored as a highly rated trail. That was until our resident hare confessed that he didn’t actually lay or set a single piece of the trail. The bloke had merely acted as a total parasite on the gourmet hashes run from the previous night! Come to think of it, those markings looked way too clean and clear to ever be the work of someone like Baah Sinister.
The circle delivered its usual brand of madness with plenty of charges being thrown around. Our favourite Canadian somehow found himself nominated to stand in front of the hot plate cooking up the snags. He did so under the incredibly watchful, micro-managing eye of Eno to ensure maximum turning of said snags and chopped onions. We are thrilled to report these were served up with fresh white bread and cheese.
The down-downs opened the floodgates for an immense amount of shit-talking regarding upcoming colonoscopies (and no, Tristan, that is not the same thing as a colonic irrigation). This medical banter highly inspired our Leader to live up to his namesake and go take a massive CaCa in a remarkably clean public toilet.
Ballbags completely missed out on a spectacular gourmet meal and a fantastic walk, but hey, it is what it is.
The Raffle:
The raffle wrapper delivered a world-class outcome. Our two favourite soccer supporters were forced to don the clothing of their current favourite team, Arsenal.
There was only one glaring issue with Freshmead’s purchase: he had clearly gone shopping in the kiddies’ department. This structural limitation wasn’t about to stop Baah Sinister from attempting to squeeze his way into the gear. I am incredibly pleased to report that through sheer determination, he succeeded. Meanwhile, our Canadian friend looked like he was revisiting the birthing canal just trying to force his head through the neck hole of his shirt, but he persevered and got it on.
All in all, it was another brilliant night out with the crew. Good beer, good food, good walking, goodbye.
OnOn

#320 : Noah Approved
2026-05-26 18:30 - 20:30 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
Well, after much agonizing deliberation – spearheaded by the know-it-all Eno – we actually managed to drag ourselves to Tom Rose HQ.
A moment of silence, please, for Arsenic. He stepped up to cover for Cum Soc and laid what we can only assume was a masterpiece of a trail. Sadly, it was completely washed away by the flash floods. We all know it would have been glorious. It would have featured perfectly regimented 50-meter markings, incredibly strategic false trails on-backs and everything else you’d expect from a masterclass in trail laying. Alas, nature had other plans.
After re-deliberating our life choices given the genuinely treacherous way we entered the park through the back door, a few brave hashmen scouted the water level at the initial river crossing. They returned with reports of literally seeing Noah and his ark floating casually downstream. Naturally, we made the only logical decision: abandon ship and head to our second HQ at the Nerang RSL.
Little did we know that escaping Tom Rose Park would be harder than prying the lid off one of WTFAI’s home brews. Those with all-wheel drive finally got to justify their vehicle purchases. Unfortunately, our GM Pepe Lespew – who should probably be renamed “Pepe I sew mud everywhere” and Eno weren’t quite so lucky.
Enter Fresh meat. Pausing only to put down his bacon sandwich, our hero produced a monkey wrench (are we still allowed to call it that in this day and age? Just checking). He then proceeded to go to town on the nuts of some unlucky Pole. Get your minds out of the gutter, you filthy pigs. I’m talking about removing the bolts and nuts from a wooden shaft to unlock the gate so the rest of the peasants could drive out.
All was not lost. While the forest spiders had clearly all drowned, we did manage to stumble upon Spider-Man waiting for us at the Nerang RSL. We held a quick circle on the first floor fuelled by budget-priced Tun Light. Times are undeniably tough at the Covid Hash, but not as tough as having to endure Arsenic’s second attempt at a hash song. Sung to the tune of La Cucaracha, he swapped the lyrics to La Pepe and expected us to drink it down, down, down. Frankly, I think most of us would have preferred to down actual arsenic at that point just to end the auditory suffering.
Thankfully, Eno saved the day with a really well-crafted joke about the Lone Ranger, his faithful companion Tonto and a posse. Ballbags, in true form, completely missed the innuendo. Being a good sport, he whipped out the journal he carries everywhere and made a physical note to remember to bring his sense of humour next time. In his defence, the entire night was already a joke.
We wrapped things up with two-for-one pizzas, an incredible Balter black at a bargain $8.50 a schooner and genuinely good company. A good feed three weeks in a row at our new HQ is a solid effort. The only thing missing was a big cunt GANT.
See you all next week when we try to find something else to do.
On on,

#319 : The Poof, I mean Puff of Smoke
2026-05-19 18:30 - 20:30 | Rotoract Park, 2 Balyandro Drive, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
Let’s set the scene for this absolute masterclass in athletic excellence and organisational competence. Fresh Meat, Pepe Le Spew, WTFAI, BallBags, Tristan and Eno bravely faced the treacherous, washed-out forest.
Speaking of bravery, our esteemed GM, Pepe Le Spew, miraculously developed a highly convenient “injury”. Clearly, this was a strategic masterstroke to avoid being completely shown up by our resident front-running bastard, Tristan. Instead, Pepe opted for a light-hearted stroll. Truly inspiring leadership right there. I guess at least he could still claim to be the front runner, eh, walker.
The weather eventually forced us to abandon the trail and take shelter in the Commercial. Because we are elite athletes, obviously. While there, Tristan decided the group was lacking in crippling financial addictions and generously funded bets on the dogs and the trots. WTFAI unveiled a supposedly foolproof system for picking winners which, to absolutely no one’s surprise, failed spectacularly. Eno, however, actually proved useful by calling and backing the winning number 8 while Tristan managed to collect on the trots. Throw in some beer, chips and Eno’s surprisingly brilliant jokes; it was a solid detour.
We eventually dragged ourselves back to the end of the run for the usual charges. Just as we were settling in, a hoon came careering around the corner. Pepe, displaying his usual poetic eloquence, muttered out loud, “What a cunt.” For once, he was spot on.
The reckless driver was none other than our MIA Hare, Cum Smoke. The man has been missing for an eternity yet had the absolute audacity to show up at the very end and claim ownership of a run he neither set nor attended. To top it off, he was wearing a shirt with his own name misspelled. Given his impeccable timing, we can only assume he spent the entire evening parked in his Ute, blasting Tradie FM and watching handicapped dwarves go at each other on PornHub.
We wrapped up the night at our second HQ, the Nerang RSL. Here we were treated to a captive audience session, mostly just listening to the endless stories of our own Traveling Wilbury.
All things considered – a bloody great night.
OnON

#318 : KAOS and Control
2026-05-12 18:30 - 20:30 | Nerang RSL, Australia
KAOS:
You wouldn’t fuckin believe it(in actual fact everyone believed it, and most expected it as it is now an all too common occurrence) but the Hare(absentee) Eno decided to abandon ship at the 11th hour, but to no surprise he actually wasn’t even on the ship to begin with.
The real surprise was the cause of all the Kaos, non other than the trailmistress himself, Arsey, who had sacrificed half the fucking Covid hash to supplement his ill-gotten gains at his back alley, speak easy gambling den.
Some might ask: Where the fuck was the GM, and how has he lost control after only 6 weeks in the job. Some might ask: Is Albo is a better leader than Lè Caca 🫢? But these questions can’t be answered as nobody knows where the fuck he is???
CONTROL:
After a brief deliberation, a coup d’état was achieved and all order restored.
After a false start at the edge of the forest, a more appealing adventure was set before us. The masses of hashers(4 brave souls) gathered at the rissole and then dispersed like fog, into the night. The runners, who for a brief moment achieved optimum heart rate, eventually came across the walkers as they simultaneously entered the drink stop location(the commercial hotel). After a few technical difficulties, the amber liquids were flowing “freely” as a $15 pub voucher took care of the jug.
At least 3 of us had heard enough shit talk 💩 and begged to start the return journey. Lucky for all involved it was all downhill with our bellies full of beer. It was the perfect storm of cooler temps, just the right amount of booze, the reward of pizzas, and the perfect angle of repose, which had our very own Ballbags flashing back to the first decade of his 45 years of hashing, as he began literally sprinting home. The rest of us couldn’t keep up, and so trailed him in.
After a long circle that would make y2ky jelly’s spine tingle, in which the usual spiteful and vindictive charges were laid, the resounding words from the reports were “Run of the Year” or something along those lines.
We retreated from the carpark, and into the true gambling den of Nerang, with 500 pokies, a tab or keno kiosk on every corner and nook and cranny of the place, it’s no wonder there is so many homeless people around, and the $27m upgrades speak for themselves. But the 2for1 pizzas were the real draw card.
All in all a top night for those who bothered to show.
On on to next week where another absentee hare will show us how it’s done. Over to you Cum Smoke

#317 : May Day May Day Run Mad Derro’s Beyond Thunderdome Run
2026-05-05 08:00 - 17:00 | Yarrayne Road Reserve, 2 Yarrayne Road, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
Well, when you totally disregard the Trail Master’s well-timed and aptly named run, all partakers would need to be convinced with a cold beverage on arrival to simmer tensions. And that’s exactly how Derrolicked My Balls managed this farce.
Needless to say, the forest was a treat, with some carefully selected trails having their virginity intact, and fruits ripe for the picking – even if those fruits turned out to be sour lemons – touché Derro.
It certainly was the ‘thinking man’s run’ as the hare had hoped, all runners thinking ‘how the fuck does all this shit get here?’ and ‘who would set a run in a fly tipper’s paradise?’
A quick transfer from carpark to bbq facilities, some strangely cooked sausages, chips, drinks,circle, vindictive charges and that run was a wrap.
Next week’s run : Eno’s profusely apologetic Run. Details to come.

#316 : Before ewe F&ck off Run
2026-04-28 18:30 - 20:30 | WTFAI’s Dick (Deck)
Drink Start, Drink Stop, Drink Finish.
Ewe can imagine the shock and bewilderment of the assembled hash men when the hare explained there was in fact a trail and worse still, we were expected to run it!!
A night on his big deck (try saying that with a kiwi accent) thwarted the runners headed in the general direction of Highland Park Tavern only to be disappointed to find an arrow pointing up.
And up, and up and up we went so much so it was clear the hare had used his car to set the trail. To be fair it probably didn’t help that returning runner, Derro Licked my Balls, and Fresh Cum Balls decided to ignore all the clearly marked on backs adding an extra 6.9km to the run and a detour via Spoofs front yard.
We refrained from popping in for a cup of tea learning from an earlier issue with a cubby house that Derro Licked my Balls had taken a liking to. It turns out a kennel of hash men wearing black skull t-shirts and shining torches into people’s property is a bit of a red flag to the Highland Park neighbourhood watch who ended up chasing us down the street screaming…..go back to Beenleigh!!!!
After a shiggy sojourn the smell of peanut butter overcame the pack meaning only one thing…….the Sheep Dog piss stop was near. Sure enough, doing his best impression of a homeless man on a park bench, was the hare (WTFAI) with his hip flask of the good shit and home brewed Cerveza beer.
Unfortunately, we arrived too late for a drink with Ballbag’s……or so we thought. Despite clear instructions from the hare, a well-marked on home trail and a 30-minute head start somehow this young pup managed to make it back to where he started just in time for another Sheep Dog shot……. absolute hash genius!!!!
Back in the circle the hare paid the price for setting a 6.9km (excluding on backs) / 1hr 16min run despite clearly advertising an evening of drinking on his big deck however the Sheep Dog fuelled walker scored it a 10.
The usual spiteful and vindicktive charges followed with the raffle won by ……everyone (yes, Mrs Fresh Cum Balls wants her shed back), but not before Derro Licked my Balls was reunited with the now orphaned offspring of Bubbles who somehow survived the unfortunateness at the AGPU.
Well done to the hare (WTFAI) for setting a great run/walk, quality piss stop and 3 course banquet. Next week Derro Licked my Balls will be guiding us around some virgin bush from a mystery location on the coast as we celebrate the “May Day, May Day” run.

#315 : Baah's ANZAC Bash
2026-04-21 18:30 - 20:30 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
It was a night for the history books, though most of us are trying to drink enough to erase the memory of that first incline. We kicked off Run #315 with the solemn notes of the bugle and the traditional Rum and Milk, a fitting start for Baah Sinister’s Anzac Day Memorial Run. Little did we know, that was the last bit of “fitting” the night would offer before the Hare decided to reenact a forced march through the trenches.
The hill at the beginning was enough to kill the fittest soldier, but the Hare wasn’t done; he proceeded to lead us onto a Black rated bike trail that was clearly not fit for human presence. The only redeeming quality of the entire ordeal was the Port at the first drink stop. After that climb, most of us were struggling to breathe, let alone swallow, but we persevered like the heroes we are.
Once the walkers ambled off, the runners proceeded into the abyss. Nothing overly eventful happened until we stumbled upon the walkers, who had apparently got lost behind enemy lines and managed to land right in the middle of the runners’ trail. To make matters worse, Eno proved to be a back-running bastard yet again, intercepting the trail between the front and back-runners. Speaking of the front, our esteemed GM, Pepe le Spew (or rather, le Caca), couldn’t maintain his position and offered up a cacophony of excuses for his lack of pace.
The real challenge was the descent. Whatever goes up must come down, and we found ourselves back at the first drink stop to finish the stashed Port. Once the Penfolds bottle was dry, we headed down the hill where The Fuck Am I truly deserved his name; he found out exactly where he was very quickly, which was on the floor. Twice. The good news is that Claret was spilt, and thankfully it wasn’t the quality goon-bag port we’d just finished.
Menstral heard there were hungry fish at the bottom so he rushed down the hill in his feet gloves – and got a charge for his over achieving
The drama continued when we discovered our base had been “attacked,” forcing a retreat to HQ, only to find the gates locked. After watching Arsenic take approximately 30 turns to maneuver his vehicle while Eno’s tiny car blocked the entire world, we finally landed at Rotaract Park. We refuelled on an Irish stew prepared by Baah Sinister who thoughtfully brought toilet paper for Fresh Meat’s ride home. the usual charges were laid, and the circle was closed.
OnOn!

#314 : No More Tennis Rally Run
2026-04-14 18:30 - 20:30 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
Well f&ck me, it’s not often the walkers beat the runner’s home after a rendezvous in the middle of the bush…..
Not sure if it was all the on backs, the navigationally challenged front runners or the saboteuring walkers changing the trail markings but somehow WTFAI (yes, his rash from his recent Asian “exploits” has cleared up) and Fresh Meat (walking because the Gourmet run the night before was so “hard”) cruised in to the on after 6.5km / 1hr 10min later wondering…..are the runners lost?
Of course, with our fearless leader (Pepe Le Spew) front running as usual the answer was simple, yes, the runners were lost!! I mean Pepe has only done 4,512 runs in the forest so it’s really easy to miss the side passage back down to Tom Rose from the fire trail, just ask Eno F$ck All & Y2KY Jelly.
Sure, the walkers would say there was a big f$ck off check that the crew from Artemis II could have seen from the moon but hey when you’re a front running bastard you don’t sweat the small stuff like trail markings.
In the circle the well-marked trail was rewarded with a 6.9 from both the walkers and runners due partly to the shear amount of wildlife spotted on root, which was expertly captured by our reserve Hash Flash, followed by the usual spiteful and vindictive charges as we let loose celebrating our first circle under the new regime.
In a moving ceremony the impressive new Carlos Alcatraz Cup was presented to Baaah Sinister and the Voyeur award to Eno F$ck All for their efforts on and around the courts from the previous weeks.
The raffle was won by the hare (ArseNic) who was delighted with his “How to Play Poker” and the “Royal Tattoo” DVD’s. A fitting reward for all his efforts putting on another great night of hash and raising the question once again, is the raffle rigged?
Next week we do it all again as we remember those hash men who made the ultimate sacrifice as we pay homage to the ANZAC’s with a big hill, two-up and the lighting of the fire.
On on
🐏😈

#313 : BallBag's Ball Beating
2026-04-08 08:00 - 17:00 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
Our esteemed Patriarch actually managed to locate the correct destination, on the right day, and at the right time. Truly, a miracle for the ages. In his usual professional coaching persona, he put us through the expected drills; the only thing missing was a good planking. However, judging by the way some of the boys were handled on the court, they still left with enough bruises and sore spots to make a planking feel like a spa day.
Speaking of planking—and other physical exertions—news.com.au is reporting that men should be aiming for at least 21 “releases” a month to slash prostate cancer risk by 22%. Miscarriage made no bones about it, promptly announcing his departure to go work on his “prostate health.” Godspeed, you dedicated philanthropist.
The Awards Ceremony (or Lack Thereof)
Baah Sinister took home Best Player of the Night.
Our GM naturally secured Worst Player of the Night—consistency is key, after all.
Your humble scribe, Eno, nabbed Best Shots of the Night. Look, just ask any happy woman on the Gold Coast; Eno always delivers the best shots when the sun goes down.
Deep Thoughts and Deeper Balls
The core message from our coach tonight was simple: whatever we do, the aim is to make our balls go deeper. This is a philosophy we apparently embraced last week too. We even took a five-minute pause under the gondola to reminisce about the “beautiful sights” from the previous run. Baah Sinister was so enamoured he suggested tracking down whoever made that booking to see if they were “cuming” again. Honestly, the puns write themselves.
The Verdict
The night was ultimately salvaged by the spread provided by Ball Bag’s better half, though it was tragically onion-free. When our GM wasn’t busy showing off his ballet skills with some Pepe Le Spew pirouettes, he managed to bag a hat-trick. Not of goals, mind you, but of failing to organise a circle. That’s 3 for 3. At this rate, he’s giving Albo a run for his money in the “useless leader” stakes.
Special shout-outs to Tommy the Toucher—who showed up because there were no schoolkids around to bother during the holidays—and Arsenic, who filled the role of quasi-assistant coach and designated ball carrier.
Next Week
The Walking Dead are celebrating their 2,500th run. If you’re planning on supporting them, I’d suggest bringing a spare oxygen mask and perhaps some smelling salts. They might actually try to move faster than a tectonic plate for once.
We’ll see you there.
On On!

#312 : Ball Bag's Blundering Buffoonery
2026-03-31 18:30 | Miami Tennis Club, 26 Courtside Dr, Mermaid Waters, QLD, 4218, Australia
The Build-Up (Or Lack Thereof)It started with a message from our illustrious resident Octogenarian (that is someone over 80 for those of you that don’t understand words longer than 6 letters) , BallBag, who informed Arsenic that the courts were “booked”.
In BallBag-speak, “booked” apparently means “Ibooked out and none are avaiable.”
Arsenic, being the diligent soul he is, created the poll, and suddenly we were all scheduled for a night of drills and… well, mostly just standing around.
The “Grand” Arrival
The dedicated crew—Eno, Tristan, Baah, and Pepe—rocked up with high hopes and low expectations. Arsenic arrived shortly after to drop the first bombshell: we didn’t actually have a court. But the plot thickened. It turns out BallBag wasn’t just late; he was at last week’s run location. Now, that is a level of dedication to the past that I can almost respect. He missed the run so much he decided to go and do it solo, seven days too late. Absolute gold.
The Sighting
While we sat there hydrating with beers and waiting for the Hare to find the correct week on his calendar, something miraculous happened. On the court directly in front of us was a perfect 10.
I’m talking flawless. Every part of her was peak performance. Of course, the reality check hit us harder than a 200km/h serve: none of us weary Hashmen would ever get so much as a sniff unless there was a parked bicycle seat somewhere nearby.
Fresh Meat might have had a chance if a bacon sandwich was involved, but for the rest of us, it was strictly a spectator sport.
The “Feast” and The Fallout
BallBag eventually graced us with his presence, confirmed for the third time that there was indeed no court, and then did the unthinkable. He vanished. He didn’t even stick around for the gourmet catering—Dominos Pizza.
Honestly, it was a massive step down from the superior perfectly rotated snags and white bread with two types of onions so clearly he didn’t miss anything.
For the second week in a row, we officially broke with tradition. Given the “scenery” on the court and the lack of a Hare, we had no circle and no charges. Just a group of men sitting in the dark, eating pizza, and questioning their life choices.
OnOn

https://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/WhatsApp-Video-2026-03-31-at-19.40.54.mp4

#311: The Devil's Revenge - Hellsfire Pass
2026-03-24 18:30 | Hellsfire Pass, Australia
The Ominous Start
We really should have checked the fine print before heading to a run literally named Hellsfire Pass. The universe wasn’t exactly subtle with the warnings. We started by crossing water and spotting an eel, and by the time we’d tackled a measly 800m elevation over just 4km, we were greeted by a red-bellied black snake crossing our path.
It’s clear the devil was in the details last night, and he was laughing at us the whole way up.
The “Hydration” Strategy
The night kicked off with a drink start. At the time, we thought it was a lovely gesture; in hindsight, it was clearly a medicinal necessity to numb the impending trauma. Once we reached what we thought was the summit, we hit a drink stop. This was a brief, beautiful reprieve before the realisation set in that we had even more climbing to do.
Special mention must go to Dan, who seems determined to dethrone Oscar Pistorius, sorry thats the murderer, Piastri’s F1 career. His record-breaking speed back down the hill in his car was likely motivated by the knowledge of the feast waiting at the end; or perhaps he was just fleeing the scene of the crime. Either way – this Hearse driven by the headless horseman could have taken us to hell because at that point we were all too tired to fight the evil anymore
The Rise of the “Ralk”
Let’s be honest: nobody was running up those inclines. We’ve officially birthed a new discipline: the Ralk. It’s not a run, it’s not a walk; it’s a vertical struggle for survival. When the front running bastard, our esteemed GM, Pepe hands at the back pretending to care about the dwindling lost souls we all knew it was a guise to hide the fact that not even Chuck could have climed that hill.
The Circle and Commemorations
The circle was a departure from our usual chaotic shenanigans. Instead, it was a quiet, subdued vigil. We took the necessary time to pay our respects to the recently fallen Chuck Norris.We also held a moment for Bubbles the fish. It appears Menstrual decided to deposit some “devil’s spew” into the water at the Tandoori Palace during last week’s AGPU. Poor Bubbles likely took one look at that toxic mixture, realised life wasn’t worth it, and checked out.
Final Thoughts
A massive well done to the Ex-GM for a wonderful, invigorating, and not even remotely challenging stroll. You could do better…
On-On
https://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/WhatsApp-Video-2026-03-25-at-12.23.57.mp4

#310: AGPU 2026
2026-03-17 18:00 | Neddy Harper & William Duncan Park, 2840 Gold Coast Highway, Surfers Paradise, QLD, 4218, Australia
Top o’ the mornin’ to ya—or more accurately, top o’ the evening, considering we spent it crawling through the streets like a pack of thirsty leprechauns chasing a pot of gold that turned out to be a massive esky full of cold ones. For Run 310, we traded the muddy forest trails for the paved “dirty tree” (that’s thirty-three for the uninitiated) pubs of the local area for our Annual General Piss-up.
The Changing of the Guard
The night was thick with tradition and the smell of Guinness. Our now-former GM, Fresh Meat, finally stepped down before he could be impeached, and we’ve “elected” Pepe Le Spew as our new Grand Master. May his reign be long, loud, and full of shit. We even managed to complete a single-block route, which, by the sacred laws of the Hash, makes the whole debauched affair an official run.
The Shenanigans
The “walking” part of the pub crawl was really just a brief interruption between drink stops. By the time we hit the halfway mark, the depth perception of the pack was roughly that of a one-eyed pirate in a fog bank.
The Casualty List (Incidents):
Miscarriage found himself back in a shopping trolley. We tried our absolute best to tip him out—purely for scientific purposes, mind you—but failed miserably.
Ball Bags was seen wandering about with a thirst that could only be described as “supernatural”.
In a move that would make a traffic warden weep, he decided to play chicken with an approaching tram while crossing the road illegally. Fortunately, he’s still with us, though his survival is clearly more a matter of luck than tactical brilliance.
We were joined by an honorary guest, Lee, our very own “Bruce Lee” for the night. The man was everywhere at once, roaming like a high-speed tourist and capturing the chaos on film. He was fast as lightning; we just hope the photos aren’t as blurry as our vision was.
The Aftermath
We finished the night at the Tandoori Palace. I’m fairly certain the owners start reconsidering their life choices the moment they see us rolling in with a massive esky and a decibel level that could peel paint. We were loud, we were rambunctious, and we were exactly what the COVID Hash is supposed to be.
Sláinte to a cracking night with only a few minor casualties!
On-On!

#309: La Caca’s la brousse une soiree
2026-03-10 18:30 | Matilda Road, Gaven, 29 Matilda Rd, Gaven, QLD, 4211, Australia
https://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Covid-309.mp4
Well, only Gods know how the f#ck we all managed to make it to the start location with 69 Whats App polls issued pre-run all of which contradickted each other but despite the utter confusion somehow, we all made it to Matilda Road on time for the 6.30pm run (baaah the sergeant) despite Ballbag’s unfortunate detour to Brisbane on root.
Once on trail we were treated to a well-marked 4.95km / 59min 10sec run which included virgin bush, the skinniest log of doom ever, giant death cap mushrooms and Bambi (x 2) resulting in a 9.6 being awarded by the GM. Clearly Fresh Meat was letting the power of his position go to his head in a last desperate effort to try exert some influence over the kennel but Derro Licked my Balls saw right through his efforts pulling the old “no piss stop” card resulting in a 6.9 being recorded. In a surprising twist the same score was awarded for the walk by ArseNic despite re-connecting with our favourite sovereign citizen (Darren) who once he recognised his old mate Ballbag’s, downed his weapon and grabbed his car keys assuming the walkers needed an emergency lift back to Tom Rose.
If only the runners were so lucky as it turns out either Pepe doesn’t know how to drive, is colour blind or just thinks it’s safer to run red lights in Nerang at night but suffice to say the aroma of caca cumming from the passengers in his car was noticeable.
The usual spiteful and vindictive charges then followed with the SKOL-A-RAMA 3000 put to good use for the heinous crime of forgetting drinking vessels and Pepe’s reward for setting a 6.9 run was a suck on the cock …..funnel.
The evening wrapped with Pepe on the BBQ. As it turns out there are more important things than onions and brown bread (who knew) resulting in a coup d’etat with Eno F&ck All being confirmed in his new role.
Well, done to the hare (Pepe) for a great effort putting on another epic night of hash. Next week it’s the Annual General Piss Up (AGPU) where we prove once and for all we are a drinking club with a problem.

#308: Eno's Lazy Hash C*nt in the Bush
2026-03-03 18:30 | Rotoract Park, Nerang, 2 Balyando Drive, Nerang, Queensland, 4211, Australia
https://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Covid-308.mp4
Last night’s shenanigans on the Covid ReHash were exactly what you would expect from this motley crew.
The lazy Hare put on a stellar digital run after narrowly escaping being completely entwined in a massive spider’s web and nest. Thankfully all he lost was the bag of flour intended to mark the trail; a small price to pay to avoid becoming a midnight snack for an eight-legged freak. The turnout was great and everyone had a solid time out there in the dark.To top it all off he somehow threw on a Blood Moon and an impromptu rain shower that perfectly washed out all the misery that was destined to be suffered later on in the circle.
Our esteemed GM Fresh Meat decided to take a tumble early on and supposedly rolled his ankle. We are still not a hundred percent sure if that injury was actually legitimate or if he was just terrified of the impending and honestly undetectable rain shower. Either way, at the mere call of his wife he miraculously jumped up and ran faster than cum smoke to the all-you-can-eat buffet line.
Speaking of divine intervention; our previously injured, claret-spilling, knee-splitting Baah Sinister decided to rock up on crutches with a heavily bandaged knee. None of us really bought the tragic act, except for the perpetually gullible Pepe Le Spew (also affectionately known as La Caca). The whole charade was unveiled when the offer of a free beer created a near Jesus-like miracle, prompting Baah Sinister to instantly jump up and run around without a single care in the world.
Without any real challenge out there and a somewhat subdued Cum Soc, Pepe easily found his way back to his golden day front-running antics.
Back at the circle Eno put on the most fantastic cookout. We were spoiled with two choices of onions, fresh white bread and super budget Coles snags. This gourmet feast was followed by fresh cream (or was it filling from last night’s Bukkake – seeing Cum Soc had 2 helpings we have to assume the later and jam doughnuts.
Ballbags went on a total hunger strike as he was simply not prepared to partake in the glorious culinary spread on offer. His stubbornness, coupled with a few late pull-outs – something Tristan’s wife has previously suffered from – and equally late sign-ups and later pull-outs from Aussie and Mustang, thankfully left more grub for the rest of us.
Our Sergeant clearly had washing day and rocked up in some tragic Temu version of a military outfit. He actually looked like Leon from the Hitman movie; it is just a pity he couldn’t hit the mark with his usual vindictive charges.
In the end, this run and walk was scored at a very well-respected point 69. But the most important thing to remember is that 69s were enjoyed by all there.

#307: Nerangatangs in the Mist aka The Peugeot Run
2026-02-24 18:30 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
https://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Covid-307.mp4
Well, it was time for another vicious Covid ReHash run. Run #307, eloquently dubbed the “Peugeot”, took us back into the dark and edgy abyss of the forest trails.
Our hare for the evening was Derro, who set both a walkers and runners trail using paper and a modest sprinkle of flour. He even managed to arrange a quick downpour for us. This was a godsend really, as Pepe le Spew finally got his much-needed annual rinse. The trail featured a drink start and a drink stop. Given Derro is a legendary alcoholic, this is entirely expected; the bloke probably downed a few cold ones while stumbling through the bush to set the trail in the first place. That would probably explain why the trail was all over the place.We had a solid turnout of degenerates including our very own portable battery pack, Miscarriage.
Some notable highlights from the darkness:Our supposedly elite front-running bastard Pepe le Spew couldn’t keep up with Cum Soc and the fresh young contender, Tristan. Pepe served up the usual spew of pathetic excuses at the end but none of us bought a word of it. Frankly, there is a glue factory out there with his name on it.Fresh Meet got his 100 run tshirt and an all you can eat Bacon Sandwich. WTFAI after all his whining got his 50th run keyring which is the only trophy the Canadians got … sad Hash isn’t their national sport, oh wait, they would suck at that too. And Ballbags got his 150th run keyring – now if he can only find his keys to put it on.
Post-run, Derro proved he might actually have a redeeming quality. The meal he prepared was arguably good enough to rival the so-called “Gourmet Hash” – otherwise known as The Walking Dead – but it was $5 bucks cheaper! A massive win for the wallet and the tastebuds.
Of course, it wouldn’t be a normal night without some Monday night propaganda. Miscarriage, wouldn’t shut up about the Monday night Hash. He spent half the night boasting that he was the only one who actually ran their 9.5km trail. Let’s be real here, TWD can barely manage a 950m shuffle so who knows if a run was even set. Plus, we have to question if that 9.5km was measured in actual grown-up steps; considering Miscarriage takes three strides for every normal adult step, the maths is highly suspect.
Not to be outdone in the whining department, Ballbags carried on about our apparent lack of support for the Monday night crew along with some other unintelligible rumblings. He was promptly and ruthlessly shut down by the pack.
Next week we do it all over again from Rotoract ParkEno is the hare and as he knows fuck all chances are there will be fuck all. But – there will be badly cut onions and white bread.OnON

#306_2: Miscarried Miscarriage
2026-02-17 18:30 | Nerang Velodrome, 8 Home Street, Nerang, Queensland, 4211, Australia
On On, you bunch of shortcutting, honeypot-sniffing cowards.
Let’s talk about Run #306, or as it shall forever be known in the archives of failure: The Miscarried Miscarriage. This run had an absolute abortion before it even started. Miscarriage was supposed to set the trail tonight, but true to his little shortcutting nature, he copped out. Apparently, he spent his night trying to convince everyone to join “The Walking Dead.”rather than disappearing down dark holes.
Disgracefully, several Covid members fell for the honeypot. They were lured away by the promise of “good food.” I mean, really? Who in their right mind would want to eat a decent meal when they could be out here with their mates, choking down badly cut onions and white bread? Your priorities are as warped as a Windows update.
Despite the mass desertion, three brave souls actually bothered to show up at the velodrome. We were led into the dark by WTFAI. Our resident Front Running Bastard Cum Soc was actually a back runner tonight—staying true to his name by trying to put the “cum” in the “sock” and keeping the pack together from the middle was Captain Arachnophobia.
It was actually an incredible run. There were even sentiments floating around that this could have been the Run of the Year. It’s a pity Cum Soc was there to defend his title; otherwise Eno would have had a joint claim with WTFAI given they “organized” the mess together for Ralk(Run/Walk) of the Year. We even had the pleasure of watching the SES practice throwing dead bodies into the forest and recovering them. Educational stuff.
We high-tailed it to the Nerang RSL. A-Mata-Surprise chose well—two-for-one pizzas and beer that didn’t break the bank. We sat, we drank, and we watched people fall down mountains in downhill ski racing and bobsledding. Quality entertainment.
To those who didn’t make it—especially Arsenic and Pepi la Spew, who flip-flopped more than a politician on a podium—you were about as decisive and useful as a condom when someone is already three months pregnant.
Extra poor no show from the GM with some sook excuse about watching the kids. It’s Tuesday night you need to remind your better half that you are required to be at the Hash.
We were going to score it a perfect 10, but since Cum Soc was there to protect his “Run of the Year” status, we reached a consensus.
Official Score: 6.9
OnOn
Eno

#306: Miscarriage Walking Dead
2026-02-16 18:15 | Goodwin Terrace, 12 Goodwin Terrace, Burleigh Heads, QLD, 4220, Australia

#300: 300th Run
2026-02-10 18:30 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
https://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Covid-300.mp4
We just hit run #300 for the Covid ReHash, and it was absolute chaos. It was like a primary school disco but with more grey hair and significantly more questionable decisions.
We all rocked up early—unheard of, I know—and the drinks were flowing before we even hit the trail. It’s like we’re trying to see how much “magic brew” we can fit into a human body before it refuses to move.
The Hares for this milestone were Baah Sinister and Ballbags, with an assist from Where the Fuck am I and Derro. Look, they outdid themselves. They really did. Usually, these guys couldn’t organise a chook raffle in a pub, but this time? Perfection.
The Claret and the ChaosWe had a run, a fast walk, and a “slow walk” (which is basically just standing still with style). The trails were marked out better than a toddler’s colouring book. However, Baah Sinister decided the runners’ trail needed a bit of extra “pizazz.”
He took a massive tumble. I’m talking full-on claret everywhere. Vampires everywhere in the world were licking their lips and Tampax sales soared. Not to be called an under-achiever and because he’s a glutton for punishment, he did it again five minutes later! Honestly, mate, if you wanted a male nurse at the hospital to give you a reach-around, you could have just asked for a referral (or waited in the bush for Miscarrige to come along, we know he is happy to disappear into dark holes). You don’t need to leave half your DNA on the forest floor!
The Royal and the LankyWe had a massive turnout from other hashes, including people driving more than 90 minutes to join us. Talk about commitment to a free beer. Little Squirt drove all that way and still managed to be so late he missed the run. At 7’2″, he’s basically a sentient beanpole. How do you miss a run when you can see the finish line from three suburbs away? Seriously, Squirt, get it together.
A massive highlight was the presence of H.R.H. King Rabbit. Over 2000 runs! That’s not just a record; that’s a medical marvel. It was a truly royal attendance, even if the rest of us are basically the court jesters.
The Feast and the “Gourmet” Walking DeadThe food was top-tier, clearly influenced by the Gourmet Hash (also known as the Walking Dead). These legends are so old their youngest member probably helped shovel coal into the first steam locomotive.
A massive shout-out to Good Head for the incredible spread and Thomas the Toucher for manning the BBQ. Thomas made sure the onions were cut according to Ballbags’ strict code—because god forbid we have an unregulated onion in this establishment.
The “Roll” Call of ShameWe had a list of attendees that sounds like the manifest of a very specific type of asylum:
Dr Zeus, Botcho, and Brewtus (sounds like a law firm for the uninsured).
Weekly, Pooj, and Menstrual (I’m not even touching that one).
Spiderman and Erection (worst superhero team-up ever).
Slug, Grand Canyon, and Full of Shit (and his brother Fuller Shit).
Pissy Fit, Raphaella, Rug, Bat, and Testicles.
And then we have the “Raffle Bandits”: Wally, Bent Banana, Little Squirt, and Swollen Colon. These lot didn’t just win prizes; they basically broke into our house and stole them.
To the Covid Hash members—especially Fresh Meat, Baah, Derro and Arsenic—thanks for the effort. Jelly, respect for flying up to join us for this special event, although we could have done without the usual display of that hairy chest – seriously mate – put a shirt on we had them on sale for only $30 bucks. Run #300 was a belter. To those who didn’t show up? The Walking Dead are looking for new recruits to replace those that expired in the forest, so off you go, you absolute drop-kicks!
Run #300 was a belter
OnOn, Eno

#305: Waitangi Day Run
2026-02-03 18:30 | Beachmont Road, 28°01'14.8"S 153°16'12.2"E, Clagiraba, QLD, 4211, Australia
Kia Ora, Time to dust off your All Black jersey’s coz tomorrow we celebrate Waitangi Day with a bit of Kiwi Kulture and Hangi feast from a new run location on Beechmont Road https://maps.app.goo.gl/Xbw5njWKUYUvALKp9?g_st=ic

#304: Australia Day Run
2026-01-27 18:30 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia

#303: Arsey’s belated birthday bush bash
2026-01-20 18:30 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
Well, as usual the 6.30pm run set off when the hare (Arsenic) could be arsed turning up but in what can only be described as an inspired innovation he started the run with a drinks stop!!!
As the hare explained the trail he claimed flour would be sighted from five ways which was strange coz it had actually rained earlier in the day and we noted that this hare on occasion (every time) had a tendency to claim “very isolated thunderstorms” washing away markings but didn’t seem to be claiming it this time which we thought was really odd.
Talking of odd, it was at this moment the GM (Fresh Meat) decided to share what can only be described as one of the most racist jokes ever in Covid ReHash history. Thank God our newly appointed Cultural Attaché (I forgot his name again) was on hand to remind the GM that as an inclusive hash we take onboard all cummer’s……including kiwis.
Back on trail flour was indeed sighted to the amazement of the kennel resulting in what some would say was the perfect run of 6.9km over 69 minutes (apparently this genuinely happened but I can’t confirm it coz the bush nicked my watch) but the bloke with a very strong South African accent give it a rather appropriate 6.9.
In the circle the usual spiteful and vindictive charges were dispensed along with concerns regarding Rosemary’s carpet followed by the first (and hopefully the last) rendition of the Covid ReHash 300 run song. Despite Ballbag’s claiming it was a “banger” some hash men (Pepe) felt there were not enough/any references to shitting in the bush and some suggested we leave the bush discharge to the ladies.
The raffle was won by the Cultural Attaché who I think is from South Africa based on his excited reaction to the book he won and WTFAI won a whisky decanter thanks to holding ticket #69.
As tradition dicktates the night closed with a rousing rendition of “hashy birthday” to the hare whose 54th birthday was at least a month earlier despite the fact the GM’s birthday was last Sunday!!!
Well done Arsenic on laying an epic trail, birthday beers and awesome inseminated paella rice. Next week we celebrate two birthdays, Australia’s and Fresh Meat’s, from a mystery location on the coast as Cum SOC proves once and for all were dumb, were dumb, were really f*ckin dumb.
On onBaaah Humbug

#302: Jelly’s Jolly
2026-01-13 08:00 - 17:00 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
Jesus Christ. When will we learn. Jelly…..live hare……what the f&ck!!!!
No surprise then that we went hare, there and everywhere in what can only be described as one of most random runs in the history of the Covid Re-Hash.
It became apparent early on as we ascended the biggest f&ckin hill in the forest that the outlook for the rest of the run was bleak. With half the pack returning or virgin runners the second helpings of Christmas pudding where looking like a big mistake but we managed to press on through the clouds.
Fatigued, disoriented and frankly smelling like a Bangkok sewer from all the sweat it became abundantly clear our navigationally challenged hare was in fact lost as he pointed in the direction of Pac Pines and declared “on on”.
The mutiny was brutal yet swift but absolutely necessary as common sense prevailed as we descended in the general direction of Tom Rose.
Some say a 3hr 32min / 8km run was a bit on the long side but as it turns out everybody had lost the capacity to speak through the damage to their lungs due to the high attitudes experienced but somehow we managed to have a circle thanks to the medicinal benefits of Tun Mid. A generous 6.9 was awarded by Cum SOC for the torture trail and somehow Ballbag’s awarded a 8.4 for the walk resulting in, if my math’s are correct, an overall score of 6.9 being recorded.
The usual spiteful and vindictive charges then followed with the SKOL-A-RAMA 3000 put to good use on the returning and virgin runners, followed by a shoey for Tristian and Baaah because Baaaah failed to advise Tristian not to wear new shoes. The injustices to all round good bloke and top hash man………Baaaaah Sinister, continued as somehow he ended up on the ice.
The evening ended with a delightful vegan inspired Lasagna straight from the soon to be released “Fruits of the Forest” cookbook by Erin Pattinson.
Well done Jelly for a memorable evening of hash. Next week we’re heading to Arsenic’s for his belated birthday run and a catch up with Ellen at the bottlo followed by a slide show of the Titley family road trip.
On On🐑😈

#301: Where the Fuck is Eno
2026-01-06 08:00 - 17:00 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
Who would have thought that the combo of WTFAI and Fresh 🥩 would produce the clear front runner for the prestigious “Run of the Year” award, and what a run/walk it was.
There was plenty of complaints to begin the trail with murmurs of “too much road” and “Palestine flags what???”. Though fears were quickly quashed as we entered virgin bush, and I’m sure we murdered at least a dozen snakes although it was so thick it was hard to tell. Finally making it out of the scrub, and into the fire as we found even more virgin bush. The complaints began to ring in the ears again as claims of “I brought the wrong shoes” to “that’s not a spider, this is a spider”. Luckily the rumours were true and there was a drink stop, albeit at the top of a 158 stair climb, and what better setting to down some homebrew ales and Canadian maple whiskey, than in a kids playground 🛝.
The walkers had almost as much action on the way up as the runners did, when Ballbags decided to race Spiderman up the stairs. After 3 heart failures (thank god for public Defib machines) they reached the pinnacle.
I didn’t know that paramedics use Subaru’s, but I guess you learn something new everyday. As the walkers rolled down the hill in their Japanese manufactured gurney, the runners headed into their biggest challenge yet.
With multiple threats of on-backs at the peak of some rather large hills we finally entered the final stretch of virgin bush for the night. (Who knew there was so much untraversed territory in the streets of nernag??) Upon entering the gauntlet, 4 turned to 3 as one of the largest spiders ever seen on a hash run had the captain of the arachnophobia athletics club shaking in his boots and running for dear life( in the wrong direction). The 3 brave souls passed the spider and the 2 vicious pit bulls snapping at our heels to eventually make it back to the clubhouse.
It wasn’t until we arrived back that we noticed 1 missing. Surprisingly he had no phone, no Apple Watch, no sense of direction and Eno’s fuck-all. After 2 seperate search parties failed to find him, we waited, and waited and finally he found his way back home. He only had to door knock one of the locals, who after a sneaky hand job and a smooch, dropped our dear Eno back home.
As you could imagine there were more spiteful and vindictive charges than usual, although it all seemed to be pointed in one direction.
All in all a great night, great food, great trail. Eno’s luck finally changed as he won the raffle

#299: Pub Run
2025-12-30 18:30 | Commercial Hotel, Cnr Ferry &, Price St, Nerang, QLD, 4218, Australia

#298: GCH3 Christmas Run 2025
2025-12-22 16:30 - 17:00 | Tiki Reserve, 73 Cavill Ave, Surfers Paradise, QLD, 4217
GCH3-Christmas-Run-2025_new

#297: I know what ewe did last Saturday night
2025-12-16 18:30 | Nerang Forest – Yarrayne Road, 60 Yarrayne Road, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia

#296: The Annual Christmas Pissy Fit Pub Craw
2025-12-13 14:00 - 17:00 | Cleland Crescent, 14 Cleland Crescent, , Broadbeach Waters, QLD, 4218, Australia

#295: Where’s the Onions Run?
2025-12-09 18:30 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
It was only a matter of time. With more injuries than an A&E ward on a Saturday night the time has finally cum to acknowledge that the Covid Re-Hash has in fact become a walking club with a drinking problem!!!
The fact we even made it out to the forest was nothing short of a miracle with the hare (Eno F$ck All) going off very early with a run cancellation notice but thank God for Arsenic, something you never hare, for immediately getting his poll vote in stirring WTFAI and Fresh Meat into action. An “evening of trivia” was then offered up but was promptly shot down by our geographically challenged ex-GM (Y2KY Jelly) who gently reminded the hare he should focus on bush running and not his cross dressing kinks.
As custom dicktates the pre-run drinks were dispensed by the sergeant and when the hare finally rocked up, he looked remarkably clean of any flour. He then led the kennel down a long -winded story suggesting a trail was in fact laid earlier in the day but it had been eaten by all the kangaroos (apparently, he has photographic evidence).
With no other option we “chose random” which really f&cked us up. 3,200 metres of elevation later Taipan finally relented to the relief of WTFAI who was channelling his best impression of Ballbag’s but as it turned out it wouldn’t be his last Ballbag impression of the night. With promises of “Tun’s at the Top” we made the final push only to find no evidence whatsoever of the hares efforts but based on how fast a mountain biker overtook us on the fire trail on the way in we can only assume he was Tun fuelled and making his speedy get away.
4.26km / 1hr 08min later the walkers exited the bush to find the hare had not only brought cut up onions but two different types. In fact, he was so impressed with his efforts he thought it was only appropriate to mix it in with his favourite drop so thanks to Eno F&ck All we now have a new punishment beer, Tunion.
In the circle the usual spiteful and vindicative charges were laid but not before WTFAI awarded the walk a 6.9 (see the video if it ever gets posted) and Eno F$ck All claimed to have no knowledge that Japanese porn pixelated all the good bits.
The “winner” of the much sought after raffle was Arsenic who really appreciated his novelty upside down beer bottle in a beer glass followed by a Hawaiian inspired burger feast that received great reviews from those who actually ate them.
Well done to the hare for putting on an epic night of hash and for introducing pineapple slices to the kennel. This Saturday (2pm) we’ll be sharing Covid Re-Hash Christmas spirit to unsuspecting, and some might say, unfortunate members of the public as we grab undersized kids bikes and visit the many fine watering holes between Cheez Baahs’s and Surfers to prove once and for all, were actually a drinking club with a walking problem!!!
On on🐑😈
