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PRODID:-//COVID ReHash House Harriers - ECPv5.11.0//NONSGML v1.0//EN
CALSCALE:GREGORIAN
METHOD:PUBLISH
X-WR-CALNAME:COVID ReHash House Harriers
X-ORIGINAL-URL:https://covidhhh.com
X-WR-CALDESC:Runs for COVID ReHash House Harriers
BEGIN:VTIMEZONE
TZID:Australia/Melbourne
BEGIN:STANDARD
TZOFFSETFROM:+1100
TZOFFSETTO:+1000
TZNAME:AEST
DTSTART:20260404T160000
END:STANDARD
BEGIN:DAYLIGHT
TZOFFSETFROM:+1000
TZOFFSETTO:+1100
TZNAME:AEDT
DTSTART:20261003T160000
END:DAYLIGHT
END:VTIMEZONE
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260915T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260915T210000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260909T074412Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260909T074412Z
UID:5699-1789497000-1789506000@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:Run 336 - BallBags Tennis Tragedy
DESCRIPTION:To be confirmed – please check the whatsapp group but it is Ballbags run next
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/run-336-ballbags-tennis-tragedy/
LOCATION:Miami Tennis Club\, 26 Courtside Dr\, Mermaid Waters\, QLD\, 4218\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260908T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260908T210000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260909T074249Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260909T074249Z
UID:5696-1788892200-1788901200@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:Run 335: SpringbaaaaahBok Party
DESCRIPTION:The usual shenanigans and festivities kicked off with zero walkers in sight and Baah Sinister acting as the hare. He blamed his car breaking down—an excuse strikingly similar to the front line of the All Blacks when they lost to the Springboks… again. True to his current state of despair over the All Blacks’ thrashing\, he didn’t even bother setting an actual trail\, which is highly unusual for him. The loss was apparently so devastating that he has now completely defected to become a Springbok supporter. \nThe terrain consisted of gravel and a bit of bush—just enough bush for the discovery of newly hatched baby spider birds that successfully put the fear of god and all things sacred into Eno. The run was scored as a 6.9 km run\, and after a gruelling 9 km (Nearly marathon distance – so that might knock out some hash men from further runs) \, though given the standard hash math it probably should have scored a 0.69. \nNot laying a trail wasn’t even his most heinous crime; he also used his phone while on the run and\, worst of all\, debuted brand new shoes. Naturally\, a shoey promptly followed\, along with multiple charges for all of his numerous transgressions. There was no drink start or drink stop either\, but he managed to make up for it with a Boerewors and onions entree followed by Springbok steaks. The steaks were a little thin—likely Kiwi steaks\, seeing as they are also small and insignificant\, much like the All Blacks pack. \nWe were treated to a cameo appearance from our ex-GM\, Pepe Le Spew\, who managed to escape getting overly roasted despite acting GM Eno’s preparing a lot of material should the need arise – but he did receive a charge for the treacherous crime of Hypocracy. Pepe received an incredible\, handcrafted new drinking vessel: a cup of concrete with the letters “HTFU” hand-engraved into it. This ensures that whenever he feels like having a sook\, he now has his own dedicated drinking vessel\, which can even double as a wine glass (or a fleshlight)—except on Tuesday nights when he doesn’t drink. \nSince Eno is away next week\, there will be no Netflix stories or bad jokes\, but you are likely in for some tennis as Ballbags takes over as the hare. \nOn On\,
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/run-335-springbaaaaahbok-party/
LOCATION:Nolan Park\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260901T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260901T223000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260909T074120Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260909T074120Z
UID:5694-1788287400-1788301800@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:Run #334 - The Sprung Run aka Running with the Bulls(hit)
DESCRIPTION:Well\, here we go again. The hare\, Fresh Meat\, decided that setting a trail from the infamous dogging park simply lacked ambition. Naturally\, the only logical way to upgrade dodging\, dodgy\, doggy-style\, dirtbags in the dark was to drag us straight through a paddock containing an active\, sleeping bull. Absolutely brilliant. \nBallbags\, our glorious RA\, finally slunk back from his pilgrimage and dragged a new pre-run ritual along with him. Taking the knee before a run? Unless you’re getting down there to suck some sausage\, leave that nonsense up in Broome. \nWhile on the topic of extra spice\, the sheer\, overachieving parade of condom—sorry\, condiment options provided at the end was worthy of a formal charge. None of us were charged by the bull\, but we had to dodge some shits almost bigger than the one Baah took outside Derro’s apartment sometime back. \n*Update on Baah’s dump – apparently the shit was so big they used it as the base material for another big shit’s statue in Victoria. \nBack on the actual trails\, Baah and Ballbags charted what was allegedly a well-laid stroll\, complete with a designated drink stop. Ballbags somehow opted to skip the booze\, while our resident sheep-shagger inexplicably failed to neck the spare bevvie. Safe to say he’s still mourning the thrashing the All Blacks copped over the weekend. \nThe trail itself was heavily marked with flour\, chalk\, and paper. It quickly became obvious that Fresh Meat wasn’t being thorough; he was just being lazy\, tossing out half the shop so the markings would survive until tonight’s run for a different hash. \nArsenic\, Derro\, Eno\, and Fresh Meat trotted through the course and somehow slipped past the sleeping bovine unscathed. The real danger\, however\, was internal. Derro decided to enlighten Eno about the mythical Spider Bird. A quick check proves this nightmarish creature actually exists (pic below). \nI am genuinely considering pulling a Pepe and quitting the Hash forever. If I run into a Spider Bird in the dark\, there is zero chance of survival. None of us stand a chance. I am now wondering if all that fresh shit in the paddock was actually cow shit after all… \n*The Circle & Nosh* \nThe circle was fast\, furious\, and merciless. Our poor raffle winner was handed a personalised CD\, which felt entirely appropriate after Eno spent twenty minutes droning on about his WhatsApp group names. \nAs for the nosh\, Fresh Meat completely forgot where he was. We were hit with two types of gourmet snags (none of that cheap supermarket trash)\, minute steaks\, white and wholemeal bread\, properly chopped onions\, actual salad (what are we even supposed to do with leaves?)\, and a bloody chocolate cake. Fresh Meat\, mate\, this is Covid ReHash\, not a Michelin-star catering event aka the Gourmet Hash. \nWe do the whole circus again next week in (Cum) Coom babah with Baah Sinister laying trail. \nOnOn\,
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/run-334-the-sprung-run-aka-running-with-the-bullshit/
LOCATION:Hinterland Regional Park public toilet\, Hardys Rd & Bertana Drive\, Mudgeeraba\, QLD\, 4218\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260825T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260825T213000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260909T073954Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260909T073954Z
UID:5692-1787682600-1787693400@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:Run# Tree Hundred and Tirty Tree (333)
DESCRIPTION:What a f$ckin run. The hare (Eno F$ck All) proved once and for all\, he really knows how to set trial with this 7km / 3hr 18min beauty. \nUnfortunately\, due to the limits imposed by the run theme numbers had to be capped to “tree” but as it turns out this wasn’t as much of a problem as we initially thought. \nDespite the high tide wiping out his efforts on the beach the amassed kennel soon found chalk and on on was the call as we ran through a memory lane of events from the not so long ago AGPU. \nIn honour of our esteemed ex-GM\, we discharged a respectful tequila salute outside his apartment only to realise he was drinking piss (what a hypocrite) with his missus on the balcony. Banter ensued and well wishes imparted in the only way the Covid knows how when we respectfully acknowledge a fallen hash man. \nBack on trail it was hard to tell if this was a run or a shopping extravaganza based on the number of malls visited but eventually\, we ended up at the spiritual home of the hash……Orchard Ave. \nWe soon realised there was no virgin bush so after a quick Pullman 5 at Hollywood’s we traversed the notorious passageways of Surfers before arriving at Waxys but not before the “classic” tits on the run shot. \nStill thirsty and in need of medical attention we were forced to check in at Finn McCools before some c$nt suggested we do the Vomitron which to be honest was a blur. \nBack on trail we hit more shopping malls\, a car park\, a car park toilet aka stairwell\, and more back passages before arriving where we should have started from and never left\, Darcy Arms. \nAs usual Baaah got the fire going and then we discussed “Is the Greatest Rivalry tour” just marketing bullshit coz the AB’s slaughtered the Boks 5 tries to 1 in a 33-16 romp at attitude in Joburg and merits of deploying Suzie 2.0. \nAs usual the Darcy Arms time equilibrium kicked in and before we knew it midnight struck so it was time for some traditional Irish nosh in line with the run theme. \nWell done to the hare (Eno F$ck All) for what can only be described as ROTY with a well-deserved 9.6 awarded. Next week we do it all again with the Sprung Run as Fresh Meat guides us around some virgin bush from a mystery location on the coast as he celebrates his upcoming birthday. \nOn on
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/run-tree-hundred-and-tirty-tree-333/
LOCATION:Neddy Harper & William Duncan Park\, 2840 Gold Coast Highway\, Surfers Paradise\, QLD\, 4218\, Australia
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260818T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260818T213000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260909T073755Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260909T073755Z
UID:5690-1787077800-1787088600@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:Run 332: The "Uno's Fuck All" Run
DESCRIPTION:Let’s just get this out of the way: we executed yet another flawlessly planned\, masterful\, highly athletic run. \n…Alright\, fine\, back to reality. Our esteemed Hare\, Derro\, decided that actually doing his job and laying a trail was far too much effort. He blamed the rain—which\, surprisingly\, wasn’t just a classic Arsenic-style hallucination this time; water did actually fall from the sky. Instead of flour or chalk\, Derro lazily entrusted our miserable lives to a deck of Uno cards. Like us\, not a full pack I might add \nAnd boy\, was the deck feeling spiteful. \nThe elite athletic squad consisting of Fresh Meat\, Cock Knee\, Baah\, Derro\, and your fearless GM/Sargant Eno ventured into the wilderness\, boldly throwing all caution (and basic common sense) to the wind. \nCasualties & Cowardice\nIt took approximately three seconds for Baah to locate the only loose twig in the entire forest and spectacularly stack it. Fortunately\, his plummet was documented for posterity. Not wanting to be upstaged by a mere tripping hazard\, our over-achieving Hare decided to aggressively cuddle some thorns\, donating some decent claret to the undergrowth. \nMeanwhile\, our returning Front Running Bastard\, Cock Knee\, was ruthlessly ambushed… by Bambi. A deer careered past him\, prompting Cock Knee to let out a bone-chilling\, genuinely prepubescent girlie scream. Unsurprisingly\, his days of running up front abruptly ended. He scurried back into the safety of the pack\, hiding like a terrified schoolgirl dodging a trench-coated man handing out free candy. \nVirgin Territory & Questionable Phrasing\nThe Uno cards somehow forced us into a respectable 5km hike\, dragging us deep into rogue bushland and uncharted virgin territory. After hacking our way through what can only be described as Spider-Fucking Land\, we slipped out the back door. \nWait\, no. We came from behind. \nNo\, that’s worse. We run at night and cum in the bush? \nYou know what\, let’s just move on before HR gets involved or Miscarrige sends another message from Cambodia wrapped in rainbows. We survived and exited on the other side of the park\, far from our usual return. \nSpeaking of HR – Cock Knee proudly showed off his Consent course certificate – after explaining some scenarios involving 2 blokes contemplating a hook-up and us throwingup in our mouths\, we decided that consent is only for the Sydney Swans and we will take any bitch we want\, when we want and as long as she is on a leash (what did you think I was talking about?) \nGourmet Dining & The Great Escape\nWhile there were zero drink stops on trail\, we did have a drink start. Culinary genius Derro provided what can only be described as the most magnificent\, awe-inspiring array of sauces ever witnessed by human eyes. Other\, lesser sauces would weep with envy. These liquid condiments perfectly accompanied the Michelin-star feast of white bread\, snags\, and excellently chopped onions—a menu that undoubtedly gave BallBags a phantom food boner wherever he was. \nNow\, onto the logistics. After the sheer embarrassment of getting locked in the park last week\, Baah cunningly parked outside the gates. He claimed it was the “emergency car\,” but we all know the bastard was planning to ditch us. \nHis foresight (or flat-out collusion) was validated when we returned to find cute little passive-aggressive notes on our windscreens\, politely advising us to call a number to be let out. Because\, yes\, some jobsworth locked the main gate on us. Again. \nDid we call? Of course we fucking didn’t. We’re Hashmen. We aren’t some sissy\, tequila-fearing support group afflicted with a terminal case of Pepeitis. No closed gate can hold us! We fear absolutely nothing… except the very real\, terrifying possibility that the side gate was locked\, too. \nSpoiler: It wasn’t. We scurried out through the side entrance like rats. No gates were harmed in the making of this escape\, just our collective dignity. \nNext week\, we do it all again. Except it will be a different day\, a different date\, and completely different in every conceivable way\, so technically we aren’t doing it again at all. But we are. But not. \nOn On\,
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/run-332-the-unos-fuck-all-run/
LOCATION:Tom Rose Park (HQ)\, 69 Wandin Street\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260811T080000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260811T170000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260909T073628Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260909T073628Z
UID:5688-1786435200-1786467600@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:Run 331 - The (Con)Census Run
DESCRIPTION:The “Trail”\nAfter quickly updating the hareline\, it became blindingly obvious that the actual Hare was MIA. So\, our GM did what GMs supposedly do – he actually showed up and did some work. He laid what was undoubtedly an absolutely amazing trail. It was clearly marked\, traversed virgin territory\, had well-thought-out guidance\, checks\, on-backs and… Ah\, who am I kidding? We are talking about Arsenic here. It looked like a cyclone came through or a rogue council street sweeper maliciously removed the trail.\nThat being said\, five brave souls entered the forest. Queen Victoria\, otherwise known as Y2KYJelly\, managed to get us on the wrong path within a record-breaking 30 seconds. I would like to have said it was all downhill from there but Arsenic was involved so naturally it was all uphill.\nBlood\, Sweat and Fleshlights\nNavigating this exploratory hare disaster was shared amongst the five of us. I\, Eno\, being the new front-running bastard of the group\, clearly possess some superior intellect. In a sheer moment of absolute genius (or perhaps just psychic foresight)\, I paused and stepped to the side. As Jelly eagerly came forward to assume the role of the new leader\, he took a blinding stumble and ensured that some precious claret was spilt on the run. Thank you for your sacrifice\, Jelly.\nIn the chaos he also managed to severely fuck his Fleshlight (Google it\, Ballbags) – sorry\, Flashlight – but miraculously the damn thing still worked. \nThe Log of Doom\nThere was an excessive amount of short-cutting and spider-fucking. To ensure that Jelly and I didn’t end up in a perpetual Gurana loop the others mercifully cut through so we would actually see them and take the correct route.\nHowever\, although technically doing the right thing and attempting to walk the log of doom\, Jelly decided that the concept of time was completely irrelevant. He took over two and a half minutes to navigate a pathetic 8-meter log. Frankly\, Baah Sinister has taken dumps with longer logs in a shorter timeframe.\nThere were various time recordings for the run ranging from 6.7 to 7.3 kilometres. Averaging it out\, the official (con)census was 6.9 – the absolute perfect score and distance. \nThe Circle of Abuse\nIn the circle we had the usual lashing along with the hateful and deeply hurtful slurs directed at both present and absent hashmen.\n* Feelings & Concrete: Some fragile feelings were inevitably hurt and cups of concrete were generously shared.\n* Failed Inspiration: We did try to rely on the minstrel words from the Cambodian Hash to guide us on how to be better people – oh wait\, that piece of garbage was burnt on the fire. Fuck it; harden up\, pussies.\n* New Management: There was a major\, earth-shattering event with the appointment of a new Sergeant. Watch out\, motherfuckers – Sergeant Eno is officially on the job.\n* Participation Trophies: Our GM received a brilliant customary over seas travel present from Fresh Meat. He then decided that since there had not been any raffles\, we were all winners. Just like a woke soccer team\, everybody gets a prize.\n* Runner-Up: My spectacular purple spider bowl came a close second to Baah’s photography book; although we all know a book won’t make a single bit of difference to the tragic pictures he takes. \nCulinary Excellence and Lockouts\nFor those of us who were deeply confused and thought we had stumbled into the Gourmet Hash\, you were not entirely wrong. We were treated to the culinary excellence of minute steaks (which\, for the record\, cooked significantly quicker than Jelly walked that log of doom). Be like the steak\, Jelly. Just be like the steak.\nTo ensure we didn’t have an easy exit\, some cunt decided to lock the main gate. Fortunately our side-exit gate was easily accessed sans the mud\, although Fresh Meat was frothing at the mouth and more than happy to take bolt cutters to the chain if need be.\nWe do it all again next week.\nOnOn\,
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/run-331-the-concensus-run/
LOCATION:Tom Rose Park (HQ)\, 69 Wandin Street\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260804T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260804T213000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260909T073425Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260909T073425Z
UID:5685-1785868200-1785879000@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:Run #330: Deep in Ball End
DESCRIPTION:Welcome to the disaster class that was Run #330. Our illustrious hare\, Y2KYJelly\, decided to host us from Ball (or Bag) End—proving once and for all that a massive dick does indeed reside at that address.\nHere is the official log of our suffering:\nThe Stealth Mission & The Banshee\nWe kicked things off by sneaking onto the “slim one’s” golf course under the pathetic guise of being incognito. Eno was practically weeping with joy at finally making it to a fairway—a monumental athletic achievement that surely would have made WTFAI shed a proud tear.\nBy the halfway mark\, Jelly masterminded a brilliant ruse: “Turn off your lights and shut up\, we’re trespassing!” Naturally\, this wasn’t for our safety. It was an elaborate setup for him to scream in a tunnel like a startled banshee just to see us jump.\nThe Code Brown\nGive the hare credit: the scare tactic worked flawlessly. It worked so well that Baah Sinister was immediately terrified into dropping his kids off at the pool. This blatant act of child abandonment in a public dunny would rightfully earn him a charge in the circle later as the pack’s resident “chocolate soft-serve dispenser.”\nThe Wrong Hole\nEnough about fecal matter\, back to the “running.” After misleading the pack through a truly pathetic excuse for a bushwhack\, we naturally arrived at the wrong hole. Finding the wrong hole is a lifelong affliction many of our Hashers continually strive to overcome\, but Jelly just desperately feigned navigational competence until we miraculously stumbled back onto a cart path.\nFollowing a few pointless checks and on-backs\, a search party had to be mounted for the wayward Arsenic and Miscarriage\, while Baah and our shiny new front-runner mathematically calculated the fastest\, most cowardly sprint home.\nGourmet Garbage & E. Coli Cocktails\nSurprise! There was no drink stop. Jelly claimed this was because we had a “drink start”—a truly groundbreaking innovation that definitely hasn’t been a thing forever. Naughty Jelly.\nHowever\, the post-run feast was annoyingly impressive. A meal that would make the gourmet Hash wildly jealous was served on actual plates with actual cutlery. Since the host (Ballbags) made the fatal error of leaving his home unattended\, we treated the venue like a Greek taverna. Once the music hit\, the plates were smashed. We briefly entertained the stupid idea of cleaning up\, quickly regained our senses\, and moved straight to the booze.\nTequila is apparently contraband now\, so we found a willing Sailor and drowned him in Coke. Mmm\, warm rum.\nThe buzz was somewhat ruined when Arsenic realized—several sips too late—that Baah had dispensed the ice with his bare hands. Yes\, the same bare hands fresh from his public dunny soft-serve session. We have no idea if that bathroom had toilet paper or running water\, but hey\, we’re Hashers. We’re tough enough to wash down our warm rum and Coke with a healthy garnish of E. coli.\nThe Circle of Feelings\nTo cap off the evening\, Miscarriage decided to grace us with a heartfelt TED Talk\, claiming we are all horrible people and that our relentless bullying is the reason Pepe left.\nWe listened carefully\, while he read some dribble about being nice\, no bullying and if you feel unsafe to contact admin… took his feelings into deep consideration\, and—as expected—told him to promptly fuck off before getting right back to the nastiness. This is Covid Rehash\, mate\, not Rainbows-R-Us.\nFinal Thought:\nWe will subject ourselves to this entire miserable charade again next week—assuming the rest of you delicate flowers haven’t offended yourselves into permanent exile.\nOn On\,
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/run-330-deep-in-ball-end/
LOCATION:Ball End
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260728T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260728T213000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260909T073229Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260909T073229Z
UID:5683-1785263400-1785274200@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:Run 329: The Squashed Frog Run (Or\, The Night the GM Croaked and We Didn't Care)
DESCRIPTION:If you thought last week was a shitshow\, strap in\, because Run 329 was a cacophony of absolute\, unadulterated drama. We came for a run and some beers\, but what we got was a theatrical performance of sheer patheticness. \nPre-Run WhatsApp Tears & The Arrival \nAs is tradition\, the pre-run WhatsApp chat was primarily dedicated to brutally mocking our perpetually absent GM\, *Pepe Le Spew*. Given the forecast hinted at a light sprinkle\, we naturally assumed the delicate flower would pull out (like we wish his father had). We generously reminded him he still had time to abort. \nTo our absolute shock\, the mythical creature himself actually materialised at the start. *Cock Knee\, sensing the moment\, strolled right up and formally introduced himself to Pepe—a masterclass in vicious sarcasm\, given the two know each other perfectly well\, but it had just been *that long since Pepe graced us with his presence. \nWith the clock ticking five minutes past the start time\, I (Eno)\, in my usual no-holds-barred fashion\, suggested we probably just head off into the bush before the GM could change his mind. \nAnd oh\, did he take the bait. \nThe Resignation of the Century \nCue the violins and hand out the tissues. Pepe launched into his grand segue\, officially resigning as GM. \n> “My job is just too important! I can’t keep coming out to drink! And worse… I was FORCED to drink tequila!” \nLet’s just pause there. If anyone wants to “force” me to watch strippers\, please don’t… I’d hate that. Also\, let the record reflect that this harrowing tequila-drinking trauma occurred in his own local area\, on a night where he was literally the only one not driving. But please\, tell us more about how you can’t afford to lose your precious license and ruin your highly important career. \nHe loudly declared he was leaving and wouldn’t even be doing the run. We immediately launched into a massive pleading session to beg him to stay. \nJust kidding. We sat in dead silence for exactly 20 seconds\, shrugged\, yelled *”OnOn!”*\, and immediately fucked off into the bush. \nThe Trail to Nowhere (Starring The Ultimate Overachiever) \nWith the GM fleeing the scene to cry in his car\, *Arsenic* stepped up to the plate. In a display of sickening overachievement\, Arsenic was already the Hare\, but boldly claimed the heavy burdens of both Acting GM and Acting Booze Master. \nArsenic informed us he had set an amazing trail. However\, there was no flour. Why? Well\, in a brilliant callback to Pepe’s pathetic excuse from a few weeks prior\, Arsenic claimed the council sent street sweepers into the forest to clean up our trail so the poor animals wouldn’t get sick from eating it. (Personally\, I think the council sweepers were actually just out looking for Miscarrige’s hiding place\, but sure\, let’s go with wildlife conservation. If they really wanted to poison the animals\, they’d just feed them the badly chopped onions from our on-afters. \n*The Run Profile:* \n* We went up.\n* We went up some more.\n* We had a short down.\n* We went up again.\n* Zero drink stops. Apparently\, you can’t be Hare\, GM\, and Booze Master without fucking something up. \nThe Bee Incident & The Tom Rose Park Twilight Zone \nIn his role as Acting GM of Nature Conservation\, Arsenic marched us straight past a row of bee hives. Derro\, driven by morbid curiosity\, got a little too romantic with the locals and took a bee sting straight to the heart. Tragically\, he isn’t allergic\, so we were robbed of the entertainment of watching him swell up and battle to breathe. What a letdown. \nMeanwhile\, in the wildest plot twist of the night\, we had lost our GM\, lost our front runner\, and so left with no choice I stepped up to the challenge and ran home first. Yes\, you read that right. Fucking crazy shit happening out here in Tom Rose Park. \nPost-Run: Slushies\, Broken Beds and Circle Time \nBack at the buckets\, the midnight oil—or rather\, the midnight bedframes -were burning. I had scavenged the wooden remains of a bed that clearly died from too much aggressive thrust action. It made for excellent kindling\, which was desperately needed because our magnificent “Booze Master” had frozen the Tuns solid. We were forced to drink slushy down-downs. \n* The Score: The run was officially rated a 6.9 – which coincidentally is exactly what Pepe was likely doing in the foetal position back at home.\n* The Circle: We tried to dabble in a few new songs to honor our fallen\, tequila-traumatized comrade\, but got bored and defaulted back to a rousing rendition of “He’s Dumb…”\n* Next Week:Y2KYJelly took the floor to suggest we call an EGPU to appoint a permanent new GM. He then warmly invited us all to check out his scrotum\, sorry\, checking my notes—he invited us to Ball End for next week’s run. Same difference.\nFinal Thoughts \nTo conclude: Bees and Pepes were thoroughly hurt in the making of Run 329. \nIf you\, or anyone reading this\, needs to talk\, is feeling a little sad\, or is upset that someone might be saying horrible\, vicious things to you… *don’t tell us. We don’t give a fuck.* And if you do\, it will be the content for next week’s run report. \n*OnOn\,*
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/run-329-the-squashed-frog-run-or-the-night-the-gm-croaked-and-we-didnt-care/
LOCATION:Tom Rose Park (HQ)\, 69 Wandin Street\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260721T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260721T203000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260909T073017Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260909T073017Z
UID:5681-1784658600-1784665800@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:Run 328 - The English Soccer Success Run
DESCRIPTION:So our Hare\, Miscarriage\, somehow survived pole dancing lessons in Cambodia and a reaming by the Gold Coast Council to set a Figure-of-8 run in Burleigh Heads. It was a 10km “masterpiece” so appallingly marked at the start that we actually needed the toilet paper just to wipe away our tears of frustration. \nStill\, it was easier for us to find the trail than it was for the English to find the back of a net. \nIt is worth noting the absolute rollercoaster of our hydration strategy. We went from a pre-drink stop\, multiple on-trail drink stops and obviously post-drinks on previous runs to a horrifyingly healthy alternative. Right at the twist of the figure 8 we hit a vegan-friendly\, Alcoholics Anonymous certified drink stop – otherwise known as a council water tap. Given how endlessly this run went on\, that figure 8 was definitely an infinity sign. \nSpeaking of tragic soccer no-shows our GM (which if you did not know stands for Generally Missing) took a page out of the French team’s playbook and failed to pitch. I suppose he did complete a “marathon” three weeks ago so we couldn’t possibly expect him to actually attend a run.\nJelly has kindly offered to give him his Disabled Sign as clearly his dementia has grown so bad that he has forgotten that he is supposed to be leading the Hash. Oh wait he doesn’t do that either now that we have a new front-running-cunt.\nWe will just conveniently ignore the fact that the Hare set and ran the trail for a casual 20km effort in one go but our GM can’t do it once. I would confidently say that Cum Smoke has attended more runs this year than the GM. \nSpeaking of le Coq\, Mademoiselle Latrine was in his absolute element sucking on the pink funnel. We are entirely sure he thoroughly enjoyed the stains left by WTFAI last week. \nArsenic did eventually turn up and brought some seriously tasty burgers. Ballbags would have been devastated as there were no badly cut onions to complain about; there were simply no onions at all. \nAnother brilliant night out in the dark featuring some virgin territory\, slippery slopes and inadvertently interfering with a couple dogging. Honestly\, Mademoiselle Latrine would have probably sniffed the tyres if he had actually come with. \nOn On!
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/run-328-the-english-soccer-success-run/
LOCATION:Rotary Park (Burleigh)\, Rotary Park (Burliegh) The Esplanade\, Burleigh Heads\, QLD\, 4220\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260714T080000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260714T170000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260909T072850Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260909T072850Z
UID:5679-1784016000-1784048400@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:Run #327: The French Connection Correction
DESCRIPTION:What could only be described as an absolute French cock-up started appropriately right outside the latrines; it was a total shit show from that point onward. Thanks to some spectacularly abysmal trail marking by our resident Hare\, Pepe\, who blamed the cleaners for this\, the runners actually had to deploy basic logic and local knowledge just to navigate their way to the first drink stop. Once the pack arrived\, the real tragedy unfolded. Complaints immediately flew thick and fast regarding the watered-down Guinness and wildly overpriced beer. This prompted Derrolicked my Balls fresh off a nazi salute (fascist) to stage a dramatic protest; yelling “Sacre Bleu!” before clumsily knocking half his brew all over the table. Brilliant execution there\, mate.\nFrom there\, we embarked on a short ramble – about as short as France’s prospects in the World Cup – leading us straight to the next drink stop at Cowboys. Naturally\, thoughts quickly turned to sniffing the mechanical bull; after all\, this was a highly sophisticated French affair and Oysters were on the menu.\nEventually\, everyone drifted back for the On Afters\, where the real classiness shone through. A lovely pink coq was presented to the circle and our Grand Master\, Pepe Le Spew\, looked far too comfortable sucking on it. Not to be outdone\, WTFAI attempted a bit of a DIY enema; presumably because he is thoroughly stretched out after his prior professional anal exploration (calm down\, it was done in a proper clinical environment\, not Tom Tate’s office). A sneaky bottle of Tequila suddenly materialised and the charges grew predictably unhinged.\nWe had hashers snorting lines of coq\, sorry coke\, I mean salt and frantically sucking on lemons. In typical french food custom where you get less for paying more – Dinner was a minimalist culinary experience; absolutely no snacks and zero dessert\, but we did get treated to a fine dish of Coq-and-Rice. The usual round of charges and relentless name-calling followed. The highlight of the evening goes to the absolute genius who walked out mid-circle\, returned a few minutes later and immediately charged the Sergeant for failing to notice he had left in the first place. Talk about elite-level dobbing; absolutely magnificent stuff. \nSee ewes next week\nOnOn
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/run-327-the-french-connection-correction/
LOCATION:Eileen Peters Park\, 5 The Esplanade\, Surfers Paradise
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260707T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260707T213000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260909T072700Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260909T072700Z
UID:5676-1783449000-1783459800@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:Run #326 – The World Chocolate Day Run
DESCRIPTION:In what is rapidly becoming a horrific and predictable trend\, the hare decided that yet another super steep climb made complete sense for World Chocolate Day. Because nothing says celebrating confectionery quite like inducing a near-cardiac event; thankfully\, we were blessed with two drink stops and a drink start\, ensuring considerate hydration for the functional alcoholics among us. \nOn the topic of hydration; Y2KYKJelly took it upon himself to move the walkers’ drink stop even further up the hill. This raises a couple of blindingly obvious issues; how exactly was he the front runner\, and more importantly\, how was he the front runner? Answers on a postcard\, please. \nMeanwhile\, WTFAI took a breezy Sunday stroll up the incline while closely monitoring his heart rate. Since it was a chocolate-themed run\, he probably stopped for a sneaky chocolate river of his own out in the bush; though he was more than happy to show off his girly mango drink later. He even confessed he was going to ask if there was another one; greedy bastard. Let it be known; the rule stands at only one gay drink per person\, per night! \nIt was good to see Baah back\, fresh off the plane from a wonderful family holiday and jumping straight in without any excuses; although he had such a good time he didnt even stick around for the on afters as he was missing his daughter so much he had to go do a line with her\, sorry\, collect her from line dancing. Unlike our illustrious leader\, who clocked a minor 10km run on flat ground\, 3 days ago and needed to sit out the run. I am starting to think that Albo may be the 2nd most useless leader in the country…. \nFresh Meat\, the hare\, laid on a brilliant run including a classic In and Out. This resulted in Jelly finally getting to ride in the “Rape Van” driven by Arsenic; though one has to wonder if that was actually a torch in his pocket after the ride concluded. \nA massive and sincere thanks goes to Jess; Wife of the Meat\, for providing an absolutely amazing feed to fuel the degeneracy. The evening wrapped up around the fire\, which was brilliantly set up only metres away from the actual fire station. Naturally\, we celebrated by sharing lovely new songs about runny chocolate and highly specific anal explorations involving pizza dinners. Smelling the seat of the mechanical bull and other good times. \nOn On!
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/run-326-the-world-chocolate-day-run/
LOCATION:Clagiraba Reserve Park\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260630T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260630T203000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260909T072404Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260909T072404Z
UID:5674-1782844200-1782851400@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:Run #325 – The RSL Epic
DESCRIPTION:The numbers simply do not lie; or at least they don’t when you actually bother to do the math. Both the runners and the walkers managed to successfully add 3+2+5 to arrive at a well-deserved\, perfect 10 score.\nThe Trail Checklist\nFor those who managed to pull themselves away from their warm couches to join the Covid crew in the dark\, the trail delivered absolutely everything required for an epic night out.\nHere is how the checklist stacked up:\n* *Tits on the run:* Check.\n* *False trails:* Check;\n* *Drink start and stop:* Check; essential hydration for high-performing harriers.\n* *Virgin trail:* Check.\n* *Hashers getting lost:* Check; they predictably lost the plot but somehow managed to regroup without us needing to call a search party.Also not being able to work out Level 2 vs Parking 2\n* *Markings:* Exceptionally well marked and signed; meaning if you still managed to lose the trail\, that is completely a reflection on your own navigation skills. \nThe On-After\nThe trail itself was a masterpiece\, but the real victory happened at the on-after. The food was excellent and the drinks were cold and flowing perfectly. Honestly\, how could anyone score this anything less than a perfect 10?\nTo all of those who missed out on this one: apologies\, but you genuinely blew it.\nHappy Canada Day to those celebrating; see ewes all next week!
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/run-325-the-rsl-epic/
LOCATION:Nerang RSL\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260623T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260623T203000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260909T072105Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260909T072105Z
UID:5672-1782239400-1782246600@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:Run #324 You Can't Get to Heaven Unless You Go Through Hell
DESCRIPTION:It turns out “cant” was completely misspelt in the title; a fitting tribute to the level of intellect we were dealing with from the hare on this particular outing. \nOur illustrious hare for the night was none other than Y2KYJelly\, also known as Queen Victoria clearly arrived with a massive point to prove and decided that the best way to do that was to subject us to a brutal 9km trek that dragged on for more than two painful hours. To ensure maximum suffering right out of the gate; the misery commenced with a vertical climb of over 1km. \nTo give credit where it is barely due; it was a well laid out run and walk through virgin bush. I suppose when you push people out into the wilderness for that long\, something out there would have to be new and untouched. \nWe eventually stumbled across a drink stop where we were presented with some questionably priced port mixed with lemonade. Truly a vintage concoction for the ages. \nThe starting lineup consisted of Pepe le Spew\, Derro\, Baah\, Fresh Meat Eno and Tristan. \nTristan apparently decided that navigating treacherous terrain in the pitch dark wasn’t quite challenging enough; so the absolute plonker decided to complete the run in Crocs. The truly frightening part of the evening is that despite his atrocious footwear choice\, he was still a front-running bastard. \nThe rest of the pack didn’t fare much better in the intelligence department. So many hashers forgot to charge their torches that we spent most of the night getting an intimate look at the dark side of the moon. It felt less like a wilderness trail and more like WTFAI showing off his home colonoscopy videos that are currently doing the hospital nurse porn circuit. \nThe Circle and The Naming\nThe walkers had their own drama. BallBags enjoyed a very special evening; not only did he quaff a disturbing amount of that questionably priced port but he also recreated the ultimate choir boy nightmare when he donned his RA garb in the circle. \nRun #324 will go down (along with certain hashmen) in history as the night we witnessed someone flat on their knees in front of a priest; sucking on a pink cock like their life depended on it. By the end of the ritual\, our newest runner was officially christened Cock Knee (the artist formerly known as Tristan). If we had known about the footwear choice beforehand; a name change to Croc Knee would have undoubtedly won the vote but that sentiment will be well felt in all our knees today after the brutal assault of the trail \nNot to be left out of the spotlight; the Hare was finally presented with his 200-run singlet. It was only six months late; but given our local t-shirt printer couldn’t even remember to print the back of Cock Knee’s shirt\, we considered it a minor miracle. In true queenly fashion\, Y2KYJelly decided he also wanted a turn sucking on the pink cock; but alas\, he lacked the proper technique and ended up dribbling it all over himself. \nFresh Meat saved the day by spraying “white paint” on the back of Cock Knee’s shirt so there was at least a makeshift name to present; a proper substitute has been promised. \nFire\, food and furphies were shared by all; and we do it all again next week. \nWelcome again to Cock Knee #25 great to have you in the Hash\nOnOn!
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/run-324-you-cant-get-to-heaven-unless-you-go-through-hell/
LOCATION:Tom Rose Park (HQ)\, 69 Wandin Street\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260616T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260616T200000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260617T005815Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260617T005815Z
UID:5669-1781634600-1781640000@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#323 : The Mazda Run
DESCRIPTION:Hash Trash: Run #323 – The Mazda Run\nOff the back of arguably one of the best virgin runs in hash history\, our expectations were high. Naturally\, reality hit hard. Not one but two hares failed to even set a run. The only saving grace for the evening was a questionably priced port served out of a goon bag at the drink stop. Classic. \nWe all headed out as one pack; and in true Arsenic fashion\, a slight uphill was immediately put into play. Fuck me days\, that is pretty much how long it took to get up there. Following along on a loosely outlined verbal trail\, our other master guide\, Jelly\, led from behind. He successfully managed to steer Fresh Meat\, Eno\, Pepe and Derro down a fire trail. Yes\, you read that right\, our happy wanderer was actually back. Exciting stuff. \nThe pack eventually split after missing a log of doom; an infraction that was later reverse-charged onto poor Eno\, because apparently it did not qualify as a true log of doom. Despite the chaos\, we all somehow landed up at 5 points for that infamous port stop. Lo and behold\, Baah Sinister was already there waiting with Arsenic. Talk about being late to the party. \nThe On-Afters\nBack at the On-afters\, we got to enjoy Fresh Meat’s new fire pit. Because our “smashed Avo” was in charge of the grub\, we were treated to vegan burgers. Do not panic though; some real meat was snuck in there for good measure. \nThe real highlight of the evening was a bit of political drama. Our previous GM called out our current GM for missing the historic virgin run and stripped him of the Yellow Jacket on the spot. A clearly visually wounded Pepe Le Spew (aka Caca) thought it was entirely unfair that this little absence resulted in a full impeachment; but he soon lit up like a little boy the day before Christmas when he was presented with the new official Hash GM jacket. What a beauty it is too; it even comes with an attached bottle opener. \nSpecial Mentions\n\n\nWTFAI: Our official firestarter is going under the knife for a procedure on Thursday so he has completely stopped drinking before the big day. Consequently\, his numerous aqua down downs were a bit of a washout. Mind you\, it was nothing like his actual washout; I mean wipeout; from last week. Thankfully he was only wet on the inside this time\, and it was highly noted that he was wearing quick-drying shorts this week instead of the infamous Jorts. \n\n\nArsenic: Speaking of caca\, Arsenic managed to turn a Green Snake brown on the trail. He pulled off a full ballerina jump right over a snake; talk about a real log of doom. \n\n\nFor those of you currently watching your waistlines\, brace yourselves. The co-hares will attempt to set another run next week\, so stay tuned. \nOnOn
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/323-the-mazda-run/
LOCATION:Tom Rose Park (HQ)\, 69 Wandin Street\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260609T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260609T203000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260610T012233Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T012233Z
UID:5666-1781029800-1781037000@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#322 : The Un-Named Virgin Run
DESCRIPTION:And what a run it was; Tristan\, our to-be-named hasher\, wanted to show that he is worthy of being an esteemed member of the Covid Rehash. \nAfter arranging an incredible pour down from the skies\, our RA wanted to opt-out for some warm Nerang Pizza but still manned up and showed up to enjoy the glorious rain he created. The same cannot be said for Anthony Albanese\, I mean Pepe; I had them confused due to their similar leadership style. Derro stayed home to lick his balls\, but boy oh boy did they miss out. \nOnto the Run\nTristan got laid by arguably one of the best virgins\, I mean laid a virgin; oh fuck it\, he had a great first run. \nIt started with a pre-run drink. Then he was considerate enough to create a bridge over troubled waters so that there was no excuse for checking out the creek and backing out. But there was still some backing out; WTFAI\, who rocked up in a pair of denim shorts (Jorts)\, decided that he was too dry after crossing the bridge and went for a swim. After the referee checked the replay\, it would appear he may have been assisted by the hare falling over and pulling him down\, but that does not explain him getting up and throwing himself back in the drink again. Typical soccer supporter trying to get his opponent carded.\nThis was the first claret spill of the night as he had a hissy fit and went home to change his tampon and put on a dry pair of adult diapers\, sorry\, more jorts; later on he was charged for this\, not the hissy fit\, but for owning more than one pair of jorts! A red card served best! \nThe remaining runners and walkers continued. After a gruelling and very wet trail\, we arrived at a drink stop. Our clever hare decided that this would be the point where the runners would continue on and the walkers would do a U-turn and return home. \nAfter pushing through more off-trail bush and crossing another creek\, the runners got to the end of their run and were greeted by another drink stop! Talk about overachieving. \nThe hare had advised at the start that due to the weather conditions he could not continue laying a trail home\, so we then proceeded on the longest on-back in hash history. At this stage\, further claret had been spilt by Baah Sinister and Fresh Meat. Not wanting to feel left out\, the hare threw himself to the ground as if the ghost of WTFAI had tripped him up and joined the bleeders. This was indeed a yellow card moment. \nThe Aftermath\nOn arriving back\, expecting to see the walkers\, Ballbags and Arsenic\, sitting waiting for us\, we were a bit worried as they were not there. Thankfully WTFAI was there\, (with a bottle of the Real McCoy)\, returned as it was previously mentioned\, as both Eno and Tristan’s car keys were in his car. Instead of going to look for the lost hashers\, we decided it was better to drink and snack. \nEventually the walkers arrived and we are pleased to say that even more claret had been spilt\, after the RA decided to join the bleeders. So a total of four visual bleeds and one vaginal bleed means that five of the seven of us bled out; talk about a slaughter of a run. The only thing missing on this virgin run was Tits on the run. \nIt did not end there; Tristan’s wife decided we would need some warm comfort food and prepared a cock feed for us\, sorry\, a Coq pasta (Cocotte de poulet) that was super tasty. \nAll in all\, virgin runs have been ruined\, and arguably some normal ones too. Charges\, raffles and a good time was had by all.\nA huge well done to the should-be-named-by-now-but-hasn’t-so-maybe-this-is-his-hash-name-but-it-is-too-long-for-a-t-shirt-so-we-will-call-him-tristan-for-short on an incredible virgin run. \nOnOn
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/322-the-un-named-virgin-run/
LOCATION:Tom Rose Park (HQ)\, 69 Wandin Street\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260602T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260602T203000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260610T012018Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T012018Z
UID:5663-1780425000-1780432200@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#321 : The Countdown Run
DESCRIPTION:We kicked things off at Budds Beach this time around. After last week’s absolute shenanigans trying to navigate our way out of Tom Rose\, the committee collectively decided that sticking to tar and concrete was a much safer bet for everyone involved. \nWhat was originally scheduled as a committee run quickly turned into a massive “aha!” moment for the pack. It turns out the “countdown” title wasn’t some cryptic masterpiece; it literally referred to 3\, 2\, 1\, matching the exact number of the run. It didn’t take a high IQ to figure that one out\, but tracking that logic seemed to be a monumental achievement for this group. Then again\, they all seemed far more interested in slamming down chilli flavoured tequila than paying any attention to the incredible neurology transpiring right off the back of a full moon. \nThe Trail: Walkers\, Runners and Parasitic Hares\nA walk and a run were set for the night. The walkers headed off in one direction while the runners took another\, eventually crossing paths at a beautifully planned intersection as we wound our way through into Surfers Paradise. \nThe runners managed to push through the bulk of their trail with a surprising lack of cheating and only a normal amount of shortcutting. The real hurdle was the constant irritation buzzing in the back of the hare’s mind that the local barbecues might get automatically switched off at 8:00 pm. As it turned out\, the barbecues were still firing away at 9:00 pm. This doesn’t say much for our hare’s local knowledge\, but he had just stepped off a plane from the UK where he was drowning himself in unpasteurised Guinness\, so we can comfortably chalk it up to a severe case of Guinness brain. \nThe walkers had a brilliant time on what initially scored as a highly rated trail. That was until our resident hare confessed that he didn’t actually lay or set a single piece of the trail. The bloke had merely acted as a total parasite on the gourmet hashes run from the previous night! Come to think of it\, those markings looked way too clean and clear to ever be the work of someone like Baah Sinister. \nThe circle delivered its usual brand of madness with plenty of charges being thrown around. Our favourite Canadian somehow found himself nominated to stand in front of the hot plate cooking up the snags. He did so under the incredibly watchful\, micro-managing eye of Eno to ensure maximum turning of said snags and chopped onions. We are thrilled to report these were served up with fresh white bread and cheese. \nThe down-downs opened the floodgates for an immense amount of shit-talking regarding upcoming colonoscopies (and no\, Tristan\, that is not the same thing as a colonic irrigation). This medical banter highly inspired our Leader to live up to his namesake and go take a massive CaCa in a remarkably clean public toilet. \nBallbags completely missed out on a spectacular gourmet meal and a fantastic walk\, but hey\, it is what it is. \nThe Raffle:\nThe raffle wrapper delivered a world-class outcome. Our two favourite soccer supporters were forced to don the clothing of their current favourite team\, Arsenal. \nThere was only one glaring issue with Freshmead’s purchase: he had clearly gone shopping in the kiddies’ department. This structural limitation wasn’t about to stop Baah Sinister from attempting to squeeze his way into the gear. I am incredibly pleased to report that through sheer determination\, he succeeded. Meanwhile\, our Canadian friend looked like he was revisiting the birthing canal just trying to force his head through the neck hole of his shirt\, but he persevered and got it on. \nAll in all\, it was another brilliant night out with the crew. Good beer\, good food\, good walking\, goodbye. \nOnOn
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/321-the-countdown-run/
LOCATION:Budds Beach\, 33 River Drive\, Budds Beach\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260526T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260526T203000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260610T011748Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T011748Z
UID:5660-1779820200-1779827400@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#320 : Noah Approved
DESCRIPTION:Well\, after much agonizing deliberation – spearheaded by the know-it-all Eno – we actually managed to drag ourselves to Tom Rose HQ. \nA moment of silence\, please\, for Arsenic. He stepped up to cover for Cum Soc and laid what we can only assume was a masterpiece of a trail. Sadly\, it was completely washed away by the flash floods. We all know it would have been glorious. It would have featured perfectly regimented 50-meter markings\, incredibly strategic false trails on-backs and everything else you’d expect from a masterclass in trail laying. Alas\, nature had other plans. \nAfter re-deliberating our life choices given the genuinely treacherous way we entered the park through the back door\, a few brave hashmen scouted the water level at the initial river crossing. They returned with reports of literally seeing Noah and his ark floating casually downstream. Naturally\, we made the only logical decision: abandon ship and head to our second HQ at the Nerang RSL. \nLittle did we know that escaping Tom Rose Park would be harder than prying the lid off one of WTFAI’s home brews. Those with all-wheel drive finally got to justify their vehicle purchases. Unfortunately\, our GM Pepe Lespew – who should probably be renamed “Pepe I sew mud everywhere” and Eno weren’t quite so lucky. \nEnter Fresh meat. Pausing only to put down his bacon sandwich\, our hero produced a monkey wrench (are we still allowed to call it that in this day and age? Just checking). He then proceeded to go to town on the nuts of some unlucky Pole. Get your minds out of the gutter\, you filthy pigs. I’m talking about removing the bolts and nuts from a wooden shaft to unlock the gate so the rest of the peasants could drive out. \nAll was not lost. While the forest spiders had clearly all drowned\, we did manage to stumble upon Spider-Man waiting for us at the Nerang RSL. We held a quick circle on the first floor fuelled by budget-priced Tun Light. Times are undeniably tough at the Covid Hash\, but not as tough as having to endure Arsenic’s second attempt at a hash song. Sung to the tune of La Cucaracha\, he swapped the lyrics to La Pepe and expected us to drink it down\, down\, down. Frankly\, I think most of us would have preferred to down actual arsenic at that point just to end the auditory suffering. \nThankfully\, Eno saved the day with a really well-crafted joke about the Lone Ranger\, his faithful companion Tonto and a posse. Ballbags\, in true form\, completely missed the innuendo. Being a good sport\, he whipped out the journal he carries everywhere and made a physical note to remember to bring his sense of humour next time. In his defence\, the entire night was already a joke. \nWe wrapped things up with two-for-one pizzas\, an incredible Balter black at a bargain $8.50 a schooner and genuinely good company. A good feed three weeks in a row at our new HQ is a solid effort. The only thing missing was a big cunt GANT. \nSee you all next week when we try to find something else to do. \nOn on\,
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/320-noah-approved/
LOCATION:Tom Rose Park (HQ)\, 69 Wandin Street\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260519T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260519T203000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260610T011421Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T011421Z
UID:5657-1779215400-1779222600@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#319 : The Poof\, I mean Puff of Smoke
DESCRIPTION:Let’s set the scene for this absolute masterclass in athletic excellence and organisational competence. Fresh Meat\, Pepe Le Spew\, WTFAI\, BallBags\, Tristan and Eno bravely faced the treacherous\, washed-out forest. \nSpeaking of bravery\, our esteemed GM\, Pepe Le Spew\, miraculously developed a highly convenient “injury”. Clearly\, this was a strategic masterstroke to avoid being completely shown up by our resident front-running bastard\, Tristan. Instead\, Pepe opted for a light-hearted stroll. Truly inspiring leadership right there. I guess at least he could still claim to be the front runner\, eh\, walker. \nThe weather eventually forced us to abandon the trail and take shelter in the Commercial. Because we are elite athletes\, obviously. While there\, Tristan decided the group was lacking in crippling financial addictions and generously funded bets on the dogs and the trots. WTFAI unveiled a supposedly foolproof system for picking winners which\, to absolutely no one’s surprise\, failed spectacularly. Eno\, however\, actually proved useful by calling and backing the winning number 8 while Tristan managed to collect on the trots. Throw in some beer\, chips and Eno’s surprisingly brilliant jokes; it was a solid detour. \nWe eventually dragged ourselves back to the end of the run for the usual charges. Just as we were settling in\, a hoon came careering around the corner. Pepe\, displaying his usual poetic eloquence\, muttered out loud\, “What a cunt.” For once\, he was spot on. \nThe reckless driver was none other than our MIA Hare\, Cum Smoke. The man has been missing for an eternity yet had the absolute audacity to show up at the very end and claim ownership of a run he neither set nor attended. To top it off\, he was wearing a shirt with his own name misspelled. Given his impeccable timing\, we can only assume he spent the entire evening parked in his Ute\, blasting Tradie FM and watching handicapped dwarves go at each other on PornHub. \nWe wrapped up the night at our second HQ\, the Nerang RSL. Here we were treated to a captive audience session\, mostly just listening to the endless stories of our own Traveling Wilbury. \nAll things considered – a bloody great night. \nOnON
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/319-the-poof-i-mean-puff-of-smoke/
LOCATION:Rotoract Park\, 2 Balyandro Drive\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260512T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260512T203000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260610T011055Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T011123Z
UID:5654-1778610600-1778617800@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#318 : KAOS and Control
DESCRIPTION:KAOS:\nYou wouldn’t fuckin believe it(in actual fact everyone believed it\, and most expected it as it is now an all too common occurrence) but the Hare(absentee) Eno decided to abandon ship at the 11th hour\, but to no surprise he actually wasn’t even on the ship to begin with. \nThe real surprise was the cause of all the Kaos\, non other than the trailmistress himself\, Arsey\, who had sacrificed half the fucking Covid hash to supplement his ill-gotten gains at his back alley\, speak easy gambling den. \nSome might ask: Where the fuck was the GM\, and how has he lost control after only 6 weeks in the job. Some might ask: Is Albo is a better leader than Lè Caca 🫢? But these questions can’t be answered as nobody knows where the fuck he is??? \nCONTROL:\nAfter a brief deliberation\, a coup d’état was achieved and all order restored. \nAfter a false start at the edge of the forest\, a more appealing adventure was set before us. The masses of hashers(4 brave souls) gathered at the rissole and then dispersed like fog\, into the night. The runners\, who for a brief moment achieved optimum heart rate\, eventually came across the walkers as they simultaneously entered the drink stop location(the commercial hotel). After a few technical difficulties\, the amber liquids were flowing “freely” as a $15 pub voucher took care of the jug. \nAt least 3 of us had heard enough shit talk 💩 and begged to start the return journey. Lucky for all involved it was all downhill with our bellies full of beer. It was the perfect storm of cooler temps\, just the right amount of booze\, the reward of pizzas\, and the perfect angle of repose\, which had our very own Ballbags flashing back to the first decade of his 45 years of hashing\, as he began literally sprinting home. The rest of us couldn’t keep up\, and so trailed him in. \nAfter a long circle that would make y2ky jelly’s spine tingle\, in which the usual spiteful and vindictive charges were laid\, the resounding words from the reports were “Run of the Year” or something along those lines. \nWe retreated from the carpark\, and into the true gambling den of Nerang\, with 500 pokies\, a tab or keno kiosk on every corner and nook and cranny of the place\, it’s no wonder there is so many homeless people around\, and the $27m upgrades speak for themselves. But the 2for1 pizzas were the real draw card. \nAll in all a top night for those who bothered to show. \nOn on to next week where another absentee hare will show us how it’s done. Over to you Cum Smoke
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/318-kaos-and-control/
LOCATION:Nerang RSL\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260505T080000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260505T170000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260610T010748Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T010748Z
UID:5651-1777968000-1778000400@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#317 :  May Day May Day Run Mad Derro’s Beyond Thunderdome Run
DESCRIPTION:Well\, when you totally disregard the Trail Master’s well-timed and aptly named run\, all partakers would need to be convinced with a cold beverage on arrival to simmer tensions. And that’s exactly how Derrolicked My Balls managed this farce.\nNeedless to say\, the forest was a treat\, with some carefully selected trails having their virginity intact\, and fruits ripe for the picking – even if those fruits turned out to be sour lemons – touché Derro.\nIt certainly was the ‘thinking man’s run’ as the hare had hoped\, all runners thinking ‘how the fuck does all this shit get here?’ and ‘who would set a run in a fly tipper’s paradise?’\nA quick transfer from carpark to bbq facilities\, some strangely cooked sausages\, chips\, drinks\,circle\, vindictive charges and that run was a wrap.\nNext week’s run : Eno’s profusely apologetic Run. Details to come.
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/317-may-day-may-day-run-mad-derros-beyond-thunderdome-run/
LOCATION:Yarrayne Road Reserve\, 2 Yarrayne Road\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260428T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260428T203000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260610T010512Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T010512Z
UID:5647-1777401000-1777408200@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#316 : Before ewe F&ck off Run
DESCRIPTION:Drink Start\, Drink Stop\, Drink Finish. \nEwe can imagine the shock and bewilderment of the assembled hash men when the hare explained there was in fact a trail and worse still\, we were expected to run it!! \nA night on his big deck (try saying that with a kiwi accent) thwarted the runners headed in the general direction of Highland Park Tavern only to be disappointed to find an arrow pointing up. \nAnd up\, and up and up we went so much so it was clear the hare had used his car to set the trail. To be fair it probably didn’t help that returning runner\, Derro Licked my Balls\, and Fresh Cum Balls decided to ignore all the clearly marked on backs adding an extra 6.9km to the run and a detour via Spoofs front yard. \nWe refrained from popping in for a cup of tea learning from an earlier issue with a cubby house that Derro Licked my Balls had taken a liking to. It turns out a kennel of hash men wearing black skull t-shirts and shining torches into people’s property is a bit of a red flag to the Highland Park neighbourhood watch who ended up chasing us down the street screaming…..go back to Beenleigh!!!! \nAfter a shiggy sojourn the smell of peanut butter overcame the pack meaning only one thing…….the Sheep Dog piss stop was near. Sure enough\, doing his best impression of a homeless man on a park bench\, was the hare (WTFAI) with his hip flask of the good shit and home brewed Cerveza beer. \nUnfortunately\, we arrived too late for a drink with Ballbag’s……or so we thought. Despite clear instructions from the hare\, a well-marked on home trail and a 30-minute head start somehow this young pup managed to make it back to where he started just in time for another Sheep Dog shot……. absolute hash genius!!!! \nBack in the circle the hare paid the price for setting a 6.9km (excluding on backs) / 1hr 16min run despite clearly advertising an evening of drinking on his big deck however the Sheep Dog fuelled walker scored it a 10. \nThe usual spiteful and vindicktive charges followed with the raffle won by ……everyone (yes\, Mrs Fresh Cum Balls wants her shed back)\, but not before Derro Licked my Balls was reunited with the now orphaned offspring of Bubbles who somehow survived the unfortunateness at the AGPU. \nWell done to the hare (WTFAI) for setting a great run/walk\, quality piss stop and 3 course banquet. Next week Derro Licked my Balls will be guiding us around some virgin bush from a mystery location on the coast as we celebrate the “May Day\, May Day” run.
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/316-before-ewe-fck-off-run/
LOCATION:WTFAI’s Dick (Deck)
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260421T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260421T203000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260610T005843Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T005843Z
UID:5642-1776796200-1776803400@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#315 : Baah's ANZAC Bash
DESCRIPTION:It was a night for the history books\, though most of us are trying to drink enough to erase the memory of that first incline. We kicked off Run #315 with the solemn notes of the bugle and the traditional Rum and Milk\, a fitting start for Baah Sinister’s Anzac Day Memorial Run. Little did we know\, that was the last bit of “fitting” the night would offer before the Hare decided to reenact a forced march through the trenches. \nThe hill at the beginning was enough to kill the fittest soldier\, but the Hare wasn’t done; he proceeded to lead us onto a Black rated bike trail that was clearly not fit for human presence. The only redeeming quality of the entire ordeal was the Port at the first drink stop. After that climb\, most of us were struggling to breathe\, let alone swallow\, but we persevered like the heroes we are. \nOnce the walkers ambled off\, the runners proceeded into the abyss. Nothing overly eventful happened until we stumbled upon the walkers\, who had apparently got lost behind enemy lines and managed to land right in the middle of the runners’ trail. To make matters worse\, Eno proved to be a back-running bastard yet again\, intercepting the trail between the front and back-runners. Speaking of the front\, our esteemed GM\, Pepe le Spew (or rather\, le Caca)\, couldn’t maintain his position and offered up a cacophony of excuses for his lack of pace. \nThe real challenge was the descent. Whatever goes up must come down\, and we found ourselves back at the first drink stop to finish the stashed Port. Once the Penfolds bottle was dry\, we headed down the hill where The Fuck Am I truly deserved his name; he found out exactly where he was very quickly\, which was on the floor. Twice. The good news is that Claret was spilt\, and thankfully it wasn’t the quality goon-bag port we’d just finished. \nMenstral heard there were hungry fish at the bottom so he rushed down the hill in his feet gloves – and got a charge for his over achieving\nThe drama continued when we discovered our base had been “attacked\,” forcing a retreat to HQ\, only to find the gates locked. After watching Arsenic take approximately 30 turns to maneuver his vehicle while Eno’s tiny car blocked the entire world\, we finally landed at Rotaract Park. We refuelled on an Irish stew prepared by Baah Sinister who thoughtfully brought toilet paper for Fresh Meat’s ride home. the usual charges were laid\, and the circle was closed. \nOnOn!
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/315-baahs-anzac-bash/
LOCATION:Tom Rose Park (HQ)\, 69 Wandin Street\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/WhatsApp-Image-2026-04-21-at-18.38.55.jpeg
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260414T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260414T203000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260610T005420Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T005420Z
UID:5640-1776191400-1776198600@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#314 : No More Tennis Rally Run
DESCRIPTION:Well f&ck me\, it’s not often the walkers beat the runner’s home after a rendezvous in the middle of the bush….. \nNot sure if it was all the on backs\, the navigationally challenged front runners or the saboteuring walkers changing the trail markings but somehow WTFAI (yes\, his rash from his recent Asian “exploits” has cleared up) and Fresh Meat (walking because the Gourmet run the night before was so “hard”) cruised in to the on after 6.5km / 1hr 10min later wondering…..are the runners lost? \nOf course\, with our fearless leader (Pepe Le Spew) front running as usual the answer was simple\, yes\, the runners were lost!! I mean Pepe has only done 4\,512 runs in the forest so it’s really easy to miss the side passage back down to Tom Rose from the fire trail\, just ask Eno F$ck All & Y2KY Jelly. \nSure\, the walkers would say there was a big f$ck off check that the crew from Artemis II could have seen from the moon but hey when you’re a front running bastard you don’t sweat the small stuff like trail markings. \nIn the circle the well-marked trail was rewarded with a 6.9 from both the walkers and runners due partly to the shear amount of wildlife spotted on root\, which was expertly captured by our reserve Hash Flash\, followed by the usual spiteful and vindictive charges as we let loose celebrating our first circle under the new regime. \nIn a moving ceremony the impressive new Carlos Alcatraz Cup was presented to Baaah Sinister and the Voyeur award to Eno F$ck All for their efforts on and around the courts from the previous weeks. \nThe raffle was won by the hare (ArseNic) who was delighted with his “How to Play Poker” and the “Royal Tattoo” DVD’s. A fitting reward for all his efforts putting on another great night of hash and raising the question once again\, is the raffle rigged? \nNext week we do it all again as we remember those hash men who made the ultimate sacrifice as we pay homage to the ANZAC’s with a big hill\, two-up and the lighting of the fire. \nOn on\n🐏😈
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/314-no-more-tennis-rally-run/
LOCATION:Tom Rose Park (HQ)\, 69 Wandin Street\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260408T080000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260408T170000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260407T234136Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260407T234136Z
UID:5635-1775635200-1775667600@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#313 : BallBag's Ball Beating
DESCRIPTION:Our esteemed Patriarch actually managed to locate the correct destination\, on the right day\, and at the right time. Truly\, a miracle for the ages. In his usual professional coaching persona\, he put us through the expected drills; the only thing missing was a good planking. However\, judging by the way some of the boys were handled on the court\, they still left with enough bruises and sore spots to make a planking feel like a spa day. \nSpeaking of planking—and other physical exertions—news.com.au is reporting that men should be aiming for at least 21 “releases” a month to slash prostate cancer risk by 22%. Miscarriage made no bones about it\, promptly announcing his departure to go work on his “prostate health.” Godspeed\, you dedicated philanthropist. \nThe Awards Ceremony (or Lack Thereof)\nBaah Sinister took home Best Player of the Night. \nOur GM naturally secured Worst Player of the Night—consistency is key\, after all. \nYour humble scribe\, Eno\, nabbed Best Shots of the Night. Look\, just ask any happy woman on the Gold Coast; Eno always delivers the best shots when the sun goes down. \nDeep Thoughts and Deeper Balls\nThe core message from our coach tonight was simple: whatever we do\, the aim is to make our balls go deeper. This is a philosophy we apparently embraced last week too. We even took a five-minute pause under the gondola to reminisce about the “beautiful sights” from the previous run. Baah Sinister was so enamoured he suggested tracking down whoever made that booking to see if they were “cuming” again. Honestly\, the puns write themselves. \nThe Verdict\nThe night was ultimately salvaged by the spread provided by Ball Bag’s better half\, though it was tragically onion-free. When our GM wasn’t busy showing off his ballet skills with some Pepe Le Spew pirouettes\, he managed to bag a hat-trick. Not of goals\, mind you\, but of failing to organise a circle. That’s 3 for 3. At this rate\, he’s giving Albo a run for his money in the “useless leader” stakes. \nSpecial shout-outs to Tommy the Toucher—who showed up because there were no schoolkids around to bother during the holidays—and Arsenic\, who filled the role of quasi-assistant coach and designated ball carrier. \nNext Week\nThe Walking Dead are celebrating their 2\,500th run. If you’re planning on supporting them\, I’d suggest bringing a spare oxygen mask and perhaps some smelling salts. They might actually try to move faster than a tectonic plate for once. \nWe’ll see you there. \nOn On!
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/313-ballbags-ball-beating/
LOCATION:Tom Rose Park (HQ)\, 69 Wandin Street\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260331T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260331T183000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260407T233938Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260407T233938Z
UID:5626-1774981800-1774981800@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#312 : Ball Bag's Blundering Buffoonery
DESCRIPTION:The Build-Up (Or Lack Thereof)It started with a message from our illustrious resident Octogenarian (that is someone over 80 for those of you that don’t understand words longer than 6 letters) \, BallBag\, who informed Arsenic that the courts were “booked”. \nIn BallBag-speak\, “booked” apparently means “Ibooked out and none are avaiable.” \nArsenic\, being the diligent soul he is\, created the poll\, and suddenly we were all scheduled for a night of drills and… well\, mostly just standing around. \nThe “Grand” Arrival\nThe dedicated crew—Eno\, Tristan\, Baah\, and Pepe—rocked up with high hopes and low expectations. Arsenic arrived shortly after to drop the first bombshell: we didn’t actually have a court. But the plot thickened. It turns out BallBag wasn’t just late; he was at last week’s run location. Now\, that is a level of dedication to the past that I can almost respect. He missed the run so much he decided to go and do it solo\, seven days too late. Absolute gold. \nThe Sighting\nWhile we sat there hydrating with beers and waiting for the Hare to find the correct week on his calendar\, something miraculous happened. On the court directly in front of us was a perfect 10.\nI’m talking flawless. Every part of her was peak performance. Of course\, the reality check hit us harder than a 200km/h serve: none of us weary Hashmen would ever get so much as a sniff unless there was a parked bicycle seat somewhere nearby. \nFresh Meat might have had a chance if a bacon sandwich was involved\, but for the rest of us\, it was strictly a spectator sport. \nThe “Feast” and The Fallout\nBallBag eventually graced us with his presence\, confirmed for the third time that there was indeed no court\, and then did the unthinkable. He vanished. He didn’t even stick around for the gourmet catering—Dominos Pizza.\nHonestly\, it was a massive step down from the superior perfectly rotated snags and white bread with two types of onions so clearly he didn’t miss anything. \nFor the second week in a row\, we officially broke with tradition. Given the “scenery” on the court and the lack of a Hare\, we had no circle and no charges. Just a group of men sitting in the dark\, eating pizza\, and questioning their life choices. \nOnOn \n   \nhttps://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/WhatsApp-Video-2026-03-31-at-19.40.54.mp4
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/312-ball-bags-blundering-buffoonery/
LOCATION:Miami Tennis Club\, 26 Courtside Dr\, Mermaid Waters\, QLD\, 4218\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260324T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260324T183000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260407T233502Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260407T233502Z
UID:5617-1774377000-1774377000@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#311: The Devil's Revenge - Hellsfire Pass
DESCRIPTION:The Ominous Start\nWe really should have checked the fine print before heading to a run literally named Hellsfire Pass. The universe wasn’t exactly subtle with the warnings. We started by crossing water and spotting an eel\, and by the time we’d tackled a measly 800m elevation over just 4km\, we were greeted by a red-bellied black snake crossing our path.\nIt’s clear the devil was in the details last night\, and he was laughing at us the whole way up. \nThe “Hydration” Strategy\nThe night kicked off with a drink start. At the time\, we thought it was a lovely gesture; in hindsight\, it was clearly a medicinal necessity to numb the impending trauma. Once we reached what we thought was the summit\, we hit a drink stop. This was a brief\, beautiful reprieve before the realisation set in that we had even more climbing to do. \nSpecial mention must go to Dan\, who seems determined to dethrone Oscar Pistorius\, sorry thats the murderer\, Piastri’s F1 career. His record-breaking speed back down the hill in his car was likely motivated by the knowledge of the feast waiting at the end; or perhaps he was just fleeing the scene of the crime. Either way – this Hearse driven by the headless horseman could have taken us to hell because at that point we were all too tired to fight the evil anymore \nThe Rise of the “Ralk” \nLet’s be honest: nobody was running up those inclines. We’ve officially birthed a new discipline: the Ralk. It’s not a run\, it’s not a walk; it’s a vertical struggle for survival. When the front running bastard\, our esteemed GM\, Pepe hands at the back pretending to care about the dwindling lost souls we all knew it was a guise to hide the fact that not even Chuck could have climed that hill. \nThe Circle and Commemorations\nThe circle was a departure from our usual chaotic shenanigans. Instead\, it was a quiet\, subdued vigil. We took the necessary time to pay our respects to the recently fallen Chuck Norris.We also held a moment for Bubbles the fish. It appears Menstrual decided to deposit some “devil’s spew” into the water at the Tandoori Palace during last week’s AGPU. Poor Bubbles likely took one look at that toxic mixture\, realised life wasn’t worth it\, and checked out. \nFinal Thoughts\nA massive well done to the Ex-GM for a wonderful\, invigorating\, and not even remotely challenging stroll. You could do better… \nOn-On \nhttps://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/WhatsApp-Video-2026-03-25-at-12.23.57.mp4
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/311-the-devils-revenge-hellsfire-pass/
LOCATION:Hellsfire Pass\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260317T180000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260317T180000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000527
CREATED:20260324T233328Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260324T234810Z
UID:5568-1773770400-1773770400@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#310: AGPU 2026
DESCRIPTION:Top o’ the mornin’ to ya—or more accurately\, top o’ the evening\, considering we spent it crawling through the streets like a pack of thirsty leprechauns chasing a pot of gold that turned out to be a massive esky full of cold ones. For Run 310\, we traded the muddy forest trails for the paved “dirty tree” (that’s thirty-three for the uninitiated) pubs of the local area for our Annual General Piss-up. \nThe Changing of the Guard\nThe night was thick with tradition and the smell of Guinness. Our now-former GM\, Fresh Meat\, finally stepped down before he could be impeached\, and we’ve “elected” Pepe Le Spew as our new Grand Master. May his reign be long\, loud\, and full of shit. We even managed to complete a single-block route\, which\, by the sacred laws of the Hash\, makes the whole debauched affair an official run. \nThe Shenanigans\nThe “walking” part of the pub crawl was really just a brief interruption between drink stops. By the time we hit the halfway mark\, the depth perception of the pack was roughly that of a one-eyed pirate in a fog bank. \nThe Casualty List (Incidents): \nMiscarriage found himself back in a shopping trolley. We tried our absolute best to tip him out—purely for scientific purposes\, mind you—but failed miserably. \nBall Bags was seen wandering about with a thirst that could only be described as “supernatural”. \nIn a move that would make a traffic warden weep\, he decided to play chicken with an approaching tram while crossing the road illegally. Fortunately\, he’s still with us\, though his survival is clearly more a matter of luck than tactical brilliance. \nWe were joined by an honorary guest\, Lee\, our very own “Bruce Lee” for the night. The man was everywhere at once\, roaming like a high-speed tourist and capturing the chaos on film. He was fast as lightning; we just hope the photos aren’t as blurry as our vision was. \nThe Aftermath\nWe finished the night at the Tandoori Palace. I’m fairly certain the owners start reconsidering their life choices the moment they see us rolling in with a massive esky and a decibel level that could peel paint. We were loud\, we were rambunctious\, and we were exactly what the COVID Hash is supposed to be. \nSláinte to a cracking night with only a few minor casualties! \nOn-On!
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/310-agpu-2026/
LOCATION:Neddy Harper & William Duncan Park\, 2840 Gold Coast Highway\, Surfers Paradise\, QLD\, 4218\, Australia
CATEGORIES:Runs
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260310T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260310T183000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000528
CREATED:20260303T220040Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260311T033924Z
UID:5509-1773167400-1773167400@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#309: La Caca’s la brousse une soiree
DESCRIPTION:https://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Covid-309.mp4 \nWell\, only Gods know how the f#ck we all managed to make it to the start location with 69 Whats App polls issued pre-run all of which contradickted each other but despite the utter confusion somehow\, we all made it to Matilda Road on time for the 6.30pm run (baaah the sergeant) despite Ballbag’s unfortunate detour to Brisbane on root. \nOnce on trail we were treated to a well-marked 4.95km / 59min 10sec run which included virgin bush\, the skinniest log of doom ever\, giant death cap mushrooms and Bambi (x 2) resulting in a 9.6 being awarded by the GM. Clearly Fresh Meat was letting the power of his position go to his head in a last desperate effort to try exert some influence over the kennel but Derro Licked my Balls saw right through his efforts pulling the old “no piss stop” card resulting in a 6.9 being recorded. In a surprising twist the same score was awarded for the walk by ArseNic despite re-connecting with our favourite sovereign citizen (Darren) who once he recognised his old mate Ballbag’s\, downed his weapon and grabbed his car keys assuming the walkers needed an emergency lift back to Tom Rose. \nIf only the runners were so lucky as it turns out either Pepe doesn’t know how to drive\, is colour blind or just thinks it’s safer to run red lights in Nerang at night but suffice to say the aroma of caca cumming from the passengers in his car was noticeable. \nThe usual spiteful and vindictive charges then followed with the SKOL-A-RAMA 3000 put to good use for the heinous crime of forgetting drinking vessels and Pepe’s reward for setting a 6.9 run was a suck on the cock …..funnel. \nThe evening wrapped with Pepe on the BBQ. As it turns out there are more important things than onions and brown bread (who knew) resulting in a coup d’etat with Eno F&ck All being confirmed in his new role. \nWell\, done to the hare (Pepe) for a great effort putting on another epic night of hash. Next week it’s the Annual General Piss Up (AGPU) where we prove once and for all we are a drinking club with a problem.
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/309-pepes-le-caca-in-the-forest/
LOCATION:Matilda Road\, Gaven\, 29 Matilda Rd\, Gaven\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
CATEGORIES:Runs
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260303T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260303T183000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000528
CREATED:20260303T215640Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260305T012920Z
UID:5506-1772562600-1772562600@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#308: Eno's Lazy Hash C*nt in the Bush
DESCRIPTION:https://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Covid-308.mp4 \nLast night’s shenanigans on the Covid ReHash were exactly what you would expect from this motley crew. \nThe lazy Hare put on a stellar digital run after narrowly escaping being completely entwined in a massive spider’s web and nest. Thankfully all he lost was the bag of flour intended to mark the trail; a small price to pay to avoid becoming a midnight snack for an eight-legged freak. The turnout was great and everyone had a solid time out there in the dark.To top it all off he somehow threw on a Blood Moon and an impromptu rain shower that perfectly washed out all the misery that was destined to be suffered later on in the circle. \nOur esteemed GM Fresh Meat decided to take a tumble early on and supposedly rolled his ankle. We are still not a hundred percent sure if that injury was actually legitimate or if he was just terrified of the impending and honestly undetectable rain shower. Either way\, at the mere call of his wife he miraculously jumped up and ran faster than cum smoke to the all-you-can-eat buffet line. \nSpeaking of divine intervention; our previously injured\, claret-spilling\, knee-splitting Baah Sinister decided to rock up on crutches with a heavily bandaged knee. None of us really bought the tragic act\, except for the perpetually gullible Pepe Le Spew (also affectionately known as La Caca). The whole charade was unveiled when the offer of a free beer created a near Jesus-like miracle\, prompting Baah Sinister to instantly jump up and run around without a single care in the world. \nWithout any real challenge out there and a somewhat subdued Cum Soc\, Pepe easily found his way back to his golden day front-running antics. \nBack at the circle Eno put on the most fantastic cookout. We were spoiled with two choices of onions\, fresh white bread and super budget Coles snags. This gourmet feast was followed by fresh cream (or was it filling from last night’s Bukkake – seeing Cum Soc had 2 helpings we have to assume the later and jam doughnuts. \nBallbags went on a total hunger strike as he was simply not prepared to partake in the glorious culinary spread on offer. His stubbornness\, coupled with a few late pull-outs – something Tristan’s wife has previously suffered from – and equally late sign-ups and later pull-outs from Aussie and Mustang\, thankfully left more grub for the rest of us. \nOur Sergeant clearly had washing day and rocked up in some tragic Temu version of a military outfit. He actually looked like Leon from the Hitman movie; it is just a pity he couldn’t hit the mark with his usual vindictive charges. \nIn the end\, this run and walk was scored at a very well-respected point 69. But the most important thing to remember is that 69s were enjoyed by all there.
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/308-enos-lazy-hash-cnt-in-the-bush/
LOCATION:Rotoract Park\, Nerang\, 2 Balyando Drive\, Nerang\, Queensland\, 4211\, Australia
CATEGORIES:Runs
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260224T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260224T183000
DTSTAMP:20260910T000528
CREATED:20260303T215439Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260305T013139Z
UID:5504-1771957800-1771957800@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#307: Nerangatangs in the Mist aka The Peugeot Run
DESCRIPTION:https://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Covid-307.mp4 \nWell\, it was time for another vicious Covid ReHash run. Run #307\, eloquently dubbed the “Peugeot”\, took us back into the dark and edgy abyss of the forest trails. \nOur hare for the evening was Derro\, who set both a walkers and runners trail using paper and a modest sprinkle of flour. He even managed to arrange a quick downpour for us. This was a godsend really\, as Pepe le Spew finally got his much-needed annual rinse. The trail featured a drink start and a drink stop. Given Derro is a legendary alcoholic\, this is entirely expected; the bloke probably downed a few cold ones while stumbling through the bush to set the trail in the first place. That would probably explain why the trail was all over the place.We had a solid turnout of degenerates including our very own portable battery pack\, Miscarriage. \nSome notable highlights from the darkness:Our supposedly elite front-running bastard Pepe le Spew couldn’t keep up with Cum Soc and the fresh young contender\, Tristan. Pepe served up the usual spew of pathetic excuses at the end but none of us bought a word of it. Frankly\, there is a glue factory out there with his name on it.Fresh Meet got his 100 run tshirt and an all you can eat Bacon Sandwich. WTFAI after all his whining got his 50th run keyring which is the only trophy the Canadians got … sad Hash isn’t their national sport\, oh wait\, they would suck at that too. And Ballbags got his 150th run keyring – now if he can only find his keys to put it on. \nPost-run\, Derro proved he might actually have a redeeming quality. The meal he prepared was arguably good enough to rival the so-called “Gourmet Hash” – otherwise known as The Walking Dead – but it was $5 bucks cheaper! A massive win for the wallet and the tastebuds. \nOf course\, it wouldn’t be a normal night without some Monday night propaganda. Miscarriage\, wouldn’t shut up about the Monday night Hash. He spent half the night boasting that he was the only one who actually ran their 9.5km trail. Let’s be real here\, TWD can barely manage a 950m shuffle so who knows if a run was even set. Plus\, we have to question if that 9.5km was measured in actual grown-up steps; considering Miscarriage takes three strides for every normal adult step\, the maths is highly suspect. \nNot to be outdone in the whining department\, Ballbags carried on about our apparent lack of support for the Monday night crew along with some other unintelligible rumblings. He was promptly and ruthlessly shut down by the pack. \nNext week we do it all over again from Rotoract ParkEno is the hare and as he knows fuck all chances are there will be fuck all. But – there will be badly cut onions and white bread.OnON
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/307-nerangatangs-in-the-mist/
LOCATION:Tom Rose Park (HQ)\, 69 Wandin Street\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
CATEGORIES:Runs
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