COVID ReHash House Harriers

Run #156
2023-04-12 18:30 (Australia/Melbourne) | Admiralty Drive, 5 Admiralty Drive, Paradise Waters, QLD, 4217, Australia

Run #157: KK's Birthday Run
2023-04-18 18:30 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
Great run last night. Despite a very isolated tornado over Nerang Forest blowing away all the trail prior to the run (these freak weather events always seem to happen when Arsenic is the hare…) we somehow managed to navigate our way around the dense bush. Despite the lack of trail at no time did we get lost or scared, but the sense of relief when we stumbled across the Gnome Inn at the Tree of Tranquillity was palpable (no wonder those Gnomes are subjected to such abuse…). Luckily, we guessed right at the tree (which was actually a left) and made our way down Happy Valley at pace on home. Relive it all here:
https://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/Covid-157.mp4
Back at HQ with the mercury dropping below a chilly 20C and early stages hypothermia setting in Arsenic showed off his survival skills by rubbing two sticks together to make fire so we could form the circle. Jelly and Derrolicked My Balls (recovering pyromaniacs) got a bit over excited adding as much fuel to the fire as they could find, but the bonfire soon calmed down, and the resulting bush fire put out. The usual spiteful and vindicative charges were laid during the circle but not before a particularly harsh score of 28 / 100 was awarded. KK sent her apologises for not being able to attend in person but shared a home video of her latest butt bleaching attempt along with a delightful see -through yellow number that the hare wore with pride.

Run #158: Anzac Day
2023-04-25 14:00 | Broadbeach Bowls Club, 169 Surf Parade, Broadbeach, QLD, 4218, Australia
Lest we forget the courage, mateship, and sacrifice of those who have gone before us so we pay our respects to those who have fallen starting with Gunfire followed by a 6km Kokoda trail where we will navigate our way through various watering hole hazards, a two-up circle, kebab shop and all finishing up with a Gallipoli beach landing re-enactment.
It all kicks off 2pm from the Broadbeach Bowling Club, 169 Surf Parade.

Run #159: Gourmet Hash 45th Birthday Run
2023-05-01 17:00 | Emerald Lakes Boat Ramp, Lakeside Drive, Carrara, QLD, 4211, Australia
This cumming Monday (1st) the State Government has declared a public holiday to honour one of Queensland’s greatest sporting organisations as it celebrates its 45th birthday ……The Gourmet Hash.

We like nothing like a good run piss up so we will be joining our hash brothers celebrate their big day. With a bit of luck our GM and Sergeant will get iced again but can’t promise anything….

When: 5pm, Monday 1st May
Where: Emerald Lakes Boat Ramp, Lakeside Drive, Carrara
Cost: $15 (card only)
BYO: Beers & Eating Equipment
Dress code: 70’s

Run #160: Coronation Run
2023-05-09 18:30 | Bill Pippen Oval, 2 Priddeys Road, Robina, QLD, 4226, Australia
What a run. King Chuck would have been so proud of what was a right royal effort baaaaaah for that bitch Me-Gain f#cking it up for everyone as usual. Despite the lack of any trail markings somehow the hare (Eno) managed to keep most of the pack together despite Derrolicked My Balls trespassing efforts. A surprisingly low score of 2 / 100 was recorded despite the novelty of the shopping mall on home “trail” which really should have been better rewarded.
During the circle, the usual spiteful and vindictive charges were laid including false accusations of “new shoes” being directed at all round top hash man Baaaaah Sinister. Despite his protests he eventually took his medicine which turns out to be anything but. The evening was rounded off with a five-course taco banquet and frozen margaritas fit for a king. BTW got a call from the restaurant, apparently they seem to be missing some glassware…..

Run #161: Cinco de Mayo
2023-05-16 18:30 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
Well, it only took 161 runs to work it out but finally a hare (Derrolicked my Balls) managed to lay a waterproof trail which defeated the 130mm of rain. Literally a well-crafted trail with paper mache markings and checks taking us to all corners of the forest with the best-ever quality piss-stop (Fireball shots). Thanks to the weather we were also able to incorporate a couple of creek swims to the delight of Arsenic who brought along his snorkelling gear, but his spirits were soon dampened upon the discovery of leeches on his face upon arrival back at the circle (see photo).
Despite not running the RA (Eno) turned up to gloat about the magnificent weather he had put on. He was in such a hurry to cum he forgot the run scoring mechanism and with our fearless leader still in Darwin grabbing grannies we were forced to improvise resulting in a run score of 10 out of 12. The evening was rounded off with not only sausages and white bread but ONIONS!!! to boot and the circle closed with the resolution that B#llpoint (I didn’t name him) was in fact still a c&nt.

Run #162: Return of the Big Dog
2023-05-23 18:30 - 20:30 | Brookfield Court Reserve, 31 Brookfield Court, Nerang, Queensland, 4211, Australia
What a run. As advertised it had a bit of everything for everyone including a tunnel start (Eno, there was no need to take a shit in it), a log doom trilogy, a six-way check, bush bashing and a lemon tree inspired piss stop (lemon drop shots). With the Big Dog returning we did our best to injure him but unfortunately the Bridge to Nowhere survived his attempts to cross it. As tradition dicktates Ballbag got lost.

In the circle a run score of 78 was recorded followed by the usual spiteful and vindicative charges many of which were directed at the GM for temporarily abandoning the hash and for somehow managing to f&ck up our well thought out 2025 Nash Hash bid. To ensure our next bid is successful we all agreed to attend the 2025 Freo Nash Hash on the proviso that virgin, or at least shaved, bush was also in attendance.

Run #163: One Who Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (GCMH3)
2023-05-29 18:00 | Gilston (Miscarriage’s), 139 Evanita Drive, Gilston, QLD, 4211, Australia
Direct from the looney bin our favourite butcher, cum property developer, cum part time lawyer set a trail for the ages………correction, set a trail that took ages. When I say “set a trail” it’s more accurate to say we were handed four envelopes which contained stages of a map which had unfortunately been defaced by what I assumed was a small child with learning difficulties. Theoretically we were required to join the maps together upon the completion of each stage to form the “postman’s run”. Unfortunately, the map “markings” bore no resemblance to any of the bush trails or paths in the local area but no bother somehow, we all made it on home five hours later.
In the circle a generous 1.45 out of 10 was awarded for the run with the hare immediately iced for his efforts. To mark reconciliation week an emotional smoking ceremony was held followed by the usual spiteful and vindictive charges but not before the RA attempted to burn down the new Covid Re-Hash clubhouse by kicking the flaming beer keg fire brazier down the side of the house.
Well done to Miscarriage for hosting an entertaining and enlightening evening and for introducing a new concept to hash.

Run #164: Postman’s Run
2023-06-06 18:30 | Diamond Beach Resort, 10-16 Alexandra Ave, Mermaid Beach, QLD, 4218, Australia
https://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Covid-164.mp4
Well, the Postman’s Run really did ……….(wait for it) ……….deliver.
Despite the absolute confusion about what we were doing the pack set off in the right direction on root to Pacific Fair. Jelly must have felt peckish as he led us up the escalator to the food court before finally escaping the mall and across the road to Dracula’s where he attempted to recruit scantily clad cabaret performers to join the run. Clearly the Casino and Convention Centre security staff must have been on a break as our sojourn through both premises was uninterrupted despite the GM’s best efforts before finally cumming across Blake at the Broadbeach Bowls Club and a table full of beer’s. Post re-hydration concerns about Ballbags whereabouts meant we took the most direct root back on home ……..via the Oasis Centre and the site of the infamous AGPU poo.
Back in the circle a generous 75 was awarded to the hare for printing out some Google Maps but not before Derro finally christened his new shoes. The usual spiteful and vindicative charges followed including a Guinness & Tun inspired concoction that went down so bad it resulted in a reaction that only an egg cup full of tequila could resolve.

Run #165: QBR (Quarterly Business Review)
2023-06-17 14:00 - 17:00 | Brookfield Court Reserve, 31 Brookfield Court, Nerang, Queensland, 4211, Australia
Following on from the drinking standards set at the AGPU the QBR didn’t disappoint but not before an epic 7.7km no hills one way trail including a quadruple log of doom. The on after descended into chaos somewhere between the consumption of the traffic light cocktails and the multiple rounds of the Skol-a-Rama 3000. When Smokie finally turned up we toasted the birthday boy (literally) by way of a half pint of vodka (Eno still claims it was tequila) resulting in his “cameo” appearance on the couch. Unfortunately, due to a technicality (technically we were all blind drunk) no run score was recorded.

Run #166: Arsey's Guided Bush Bash
2023-06-20 18:30 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
Well, it was more of a sprint than a run but lots of fun. If the bonfire wasn’t the highlight, then getting home at a reasonable hour definitely was.

Run #167: Baaahsinster's Exit
2023-06-27 18:30 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
Next Tuesday (6.30pm) were back at HQ (Tom Rose Park) @ 6.30pm for a bigger and better attempt to burn down the forest.

Run #168: Aussie's Gourmet Run
2023-07-03 18:00 | Budds Beach, 33 River Drive, Budds Beach, Australia

Run #169: Meat Run
2023-07-12 18:30 | Country Paradise Parklands, 231 Beaudesert Nerang Rd, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia

Run #170: Christmas in July Run
2023-07-19 18:30 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
Wear Christmas themed outfit
Dress warmly
Trail will be set on road, so no forest running if you don’t want!
Bring your favourite marshmallow cooking stick

Run #171: Fast Fours Tennis
2023-07-25 18:30 | GCS Tennis Club, 24 Pizzey Drive, Mermaid Waters, Queensland, 4218, Australia

Run #172: Back to the Bush
2023-08-01 18:30 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia

Run #173: Arsenic's Non Bux
2023-08-08 17:00 | Diamond Beach Resort, 10-16 Alexandra Ave, Mermaid Beach, QLD, 4218, Australia

Run #175: Arsey's Swamp Thing
2023-08-22 18:30 | Coombabah Lakelands Conservation Area, Rain Tree Glenn, Coombabah, QLD, 4216, Australia
https://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Covid-175.mp4

Run #176: Enos F*ck All
2023-08-29 18:30 | Diamond Beach Resort, 10-16 Alexandra Ave, Mermaid Beach, QLD, 4218, Australia
Pre run meeting point @ Diamond Beach Resort

Run #177: Game of D̶e̶a̶t̶h̶ Chance
2023-09-05 18:30 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
https://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Covid-177.mp4
What a run! Who would have thought that a pack of UNO cards would result in the best run I’ve been on for at least the last couple of months…..
Well done to the hare (GM Jelly) for endangering our lives and a special mention for his placement of the killer brown snake at the beginning of the trail and the less venomous echidna later-on. After a 45-minute loop that took us to parts of the forest we had never seen before we found ourselves back were we started………in the middle of nowhere. Luck however was on our side as we drew the right sequence of cards to take us directly on home just in time for a lively circle where a run score of 79 was awarded and we learnt much about the latest offerings from The Bulldog Hotel in Amsterdam.
“Ninja wake up calls are only available as part of the Bulldog hotel holiday romance package. Details of this service are available behind the water tank in the ladies toilet on the 2nd floor. If you are interested in this offer, please bring two passport-sized photos, details of your measurements on the back of a small envelope, and the results of a recent HIV test.”

Run #178: Game of D̶e̶a̶t̶h̶ Chance II
2023-09-12 18:30 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
https://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Covid-178.mp4
Well, I think we all know who’ll win the rat c*nting award this year….. Well done to the Sargent for going way too hard, way too early as he gets closer to his special landmark and tricking us all with his non-attendance last night.
The resulting confusion (no one knew how to cook sausage’s) meant we almost burnt down the forest in our attempts to make nachos on the brazier. Still hungry, thirsty (no Booze Master or birthday beers) and directionless (no GM) the circle turned on the absent Sargent but was saved by a heartfelt message from our Founding Father and song from the assembled bushmen. As for the run / walk…… pretty much perfect but unfortunately there is never enough time to apply the official scoring mechanism, so no score was recorded.
https://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/WhatsApp-Video-2023-09-13-at-2.29.27-PM.mp4

Run #179: Ballbags Swinging in the Bush
2023-09-19 18:30 | Rotoract Park, 2 Balyandro Drive, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
Next Tuesday Ballbags will be setting the trail from Rotoract Park, Nerang (opposite 1 Balyando Drive).

Run #180: Drag Queen Bingo
2023-09-26 18:30 | Fat Freddy’s, 50 Surf Parade, Broadbeach, Queensland, 4218, Australia
https://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Covid-180.mp4
What a run. 500 metres of pure unadulterated torture (aka 7 min of no drinking). Luckily, we stumbled across Fat Freddy’s and settled in for a couple of hours of re-hydration where a delightful young lady, well at least Ballbags (who still managed to spill claret) thought so, was hosting a trivia quiz. Turns out Eno F%ck All (early contender for Hashman of the year for prioritising hash over family) does know one or two things about really, really, really obscure things and coupled with Cum Smokes love of Tradie FM we only went and nearly won the bloody thing….
The usual chat about whether we should give up running and declare ourselves a full-time quiz team continued into the night before Smokie (2022/23 Athlete of the Year) jumped on the table and declared…….it’s back to some real bush next Tuesday fellas for the Magic 8 Ball run from Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Road, Nerang.

Run #181: Magic 8 Ball Run
2023-10-03 18:30 | Tom Rose Park (HQ), 69 Wandin Street, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia

Run #182: Drag Queen Bingo
2023-10-10 18:30 - 19:00 | Fat Freddy’s, 50 Surf Parade, Broadbeach, Queensland, 4218, Australia

Run #184: Fresh Virgin Bush Meat
2023-10-24 18:30 | Advanced Town, Beechmont Rd & Nerang Murwillumbah Rd, Advancetown, QLD, 4211, Australia

Run #185: Death Wish II
2023-10-31 18:30 | Ibrox Court Reserve, Crane Crescent, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia

Run 187: Death Wish II Redux
2023-11-14 18:30 | Nerang Forest – Yarrayne Road, 60 Yarrayne Road, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
Well, it looks like we can add mountaineering to our list of activities…..
The run and walk lived up to its billing as we all agreed we wished we were dead after crawling up the north face of Everest Junior and it’s 186m sheer vertical elevation. After finally hitting the ridge line things only got worse for the runners with the hare (our most esteemed GM, Y2KY Jelly) pulling out the Uno cards which all but confirmed their fate……
Lost, hungry and thirsty and with no possible way back down the root they had just traversed the walkers got lucky and choose right to safety exiting the bush 1 hour later covering a total of 2 km…….Yes that’s right, we managed 2 km/h (hash record beating Smokie’s previous mark) N.B. special thanks to Pepe Le Spew for rescuing us in his car otherwise we would have died.
Back at the circle a run score of 63 was recorded followed by the usual cruel and vindicative charges laid primarily at the hare for all his wrong doings. He did however redeem himself with what appeared to be and tasted like real meat sausages for the nosh followed by an emotional presentation of the 100 run commemorative t-shirts, to Ballbags and all-round top bloke Baaaah Sinister.

Run #188: Return of the Ball Licker
2023-11-21 18:30 | Nerang Forest – Yarrayne Road, 60 Yarrayne Road, Nerang, QLD, 4211, Australia
