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X-WR-CALNAME:COVID ReHash House Harriers
X-ORIGINAL-URL:https://covidhhh.com
X-WR-CALDESC:Runs for COVID ReHash House Harriers
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TZID:Australia/Melbourne
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TZOFFSETFROM:+1100
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TZNAME:AEST
DTSTART:20260404T160000
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260317T180000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260317T180000
DTSTAMP:20260613T130402
CREATED:20260324T233328Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260324T234810Z
UID:5568-1773770400-1773770400@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#310: AGPU 2026
DESCRIPTION:Top o’ the mornin’ to ya—or more accurately\, top o’ the evening\, considering we spent it crawling through the streets like a pack of thirsty leprechauns chasing a pot of gold that turned out to be a massive esky full of cold ones. For Run 310\, we traded the muddy forest trails for the paved “dirty tree” (that’s thirty-three for the uninitiated) pubs of the local area for our Annual General Piss-up. \nThe Changing of the Guard\nThe night was thick with tradition and the smell of Guinness. Our now-former GM\, Fresh Meat\, finally stepped down before he could be impeached\, and we’ve “elected” Pepe Le Spew as our new Grand Master. May his reign be long\, loud\, and full of shit. We even managed to complete a single-block route\, which\, by the sacred laws of the Hash\, makes the whole debauched affair an official run. \nThe Shenanigans\nThe “walking” part of the pub crawl was really just a brief interruption between drink stops. By the time we hit the halfway mark\, the depth perception of the pack was roughly that of a one-eyed pirate in a fog bank. \nThe Casualty List (Incidents): \nMiscarriage found himself back in a shopping trolley. We tried our absolute best to tip him out—purely for scientific purposes\, mind you—but failed miserably. \nBall Bags was seen wandering about with a thirst that could only be described as “supernatural”. \nIn a move that would make a traffic warden weep\, he decided to play chicken with an approaching tram while crossing the road illegally. Fortunately\, he’s still with us\, though his survival is clearly more a matter of luck than tactical brilliance. \nWe were joined by an honorary guest\, Lee\, our very own “Bruce Lee” for the night. The man was everywhere at once\, roaming like a high-speed tourist and capturing the chaos on film. He was fast as lightning; we just hope the photos aren’t as blurry as our vision was. \nThe Aftermath\nWe finished the night at the Tandoori Palace. I’m fairly certain the owners start reconsidering their life choices the moment they see us rolling in with a massive esky and a decibel level that could peel paint. We were loud\, we were rambunctious\, and we were exactly what the COVID Hash is supposed to be. \nSláinte to a cracking night with only a few minor casualties! \nOn-On!
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/310-agpu-2026/
LOCATION:Neddy Harper & William Duncan Park\, 2840 Gold Coast Highway\, Surfers Paradise\, QLD\, 4218\, Australia
CATEGORIES:Runs
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260324T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260324T183000
DTSTAMP:20260613T130402
CREATED:20260407T233502Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260407T233502Z
UID:5617-1774377000-1774377000@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#311: The Devil's Revenge - Hellsfire Pass
DESCRIPTION:The Ominous Start\nWe really should have checked the fine print before heading to a run literally named Hellsfire Pass. The universe wasn’t exactly subtle with the warnings. We started by crossing water and spotting an eel\, and by the time we’d tackled a measly 800m elevation over just 4km\, we were greeted by a red-bellied black snake crossing our path.\nIt’s clear the devil was in the details last night\, and he was laughing at us the whole way up. \nThe “Hydration” Strategy\nThe night kicked off with a drink start. At the time\, we thought it was a lovely gesture; in hindsight\, it was clearly a medicinal necessity to numb the impending trauma. Once we reached what we thought was the summit\, we hit a drink stop. This was a brief\, beautiful reprieve before the realisation set in that we had even more climbing to do. \nSpecial mention must go to Dan\, who seems determined to dethrone Oscar Pistorius\, sorry thats the murderer\, Piastri’s F1 career. His record-breaking speed back down the hill in his car was likely motivated by the knowledge of the feast waiting at the end; or perhaps he was just fleeing the scene of the crime. Either way – this Hearse driven by the headless horseman could have taken us to hell because at that point we were all too tired to fight the evil anymore \nThe Rise of the “Ralk” \nLet’s be honest: nobody was running up those inclines. We’ve officially birthed a new discipline: the Ralk. It’s not a run\, it’s not a walk; it’s a vertical struggle for survival. When the front running bastard\, our esteemed GM\, Pepe hands at the back pretending to care about the dwindling lost souls we all knew it was a guise to hide the fact that not even Chuck could have climed that hill. \nThe Circle and Commemorations\nThe circle was a departure from our usual chaotic shenanigans. Instead\, it was a quiet\, subdued vigil. We took the necessary time to pay our respects to the recently fallen Chuck Norris.We also held a moment for Bubbles the fish. It appears Menstrual decided to deposit some “devil’s spew” into the water at the Tandoori Palace during last week’s AGPU. Poor Bubbles likely took one look at that toxic mixture\, realised life wasn’t worth it\, and checked out. \nFinal Thoughts\nA massive well done to the Ex-GM for a wonderful\, invigorating\, and not even remotely challenging stroll. You could do better… \nOn-On \nhttps://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/WhatsApp-Video-2026-03-25-at-12.23.57.mp4
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/311-the-devils-revenge-hellsfire-pass/
LOCATION:Hellsfire Pass\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260331T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260331T183000
DTSTAMP:20260613T130402
CREATED:20260407T233938Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260407T233938Z
UID:5626-1774981800-1774981800@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#312 : Ball Bag's Blundering Buffoonery
DESCRIPTION:The Build-Up (Or Lack Thereof)It started with a message from our illustrious resident Octogenarian (that is someone over 80 for those of you that don’t understand words longer than 6 letters) \, BallBag\, who informed Arsenic that the courts were “booked”. \nIn BallBag-speak\, “booked” apparently means “Ibooked out and none are avaiable.” \nArsenic\, being the diligent soul he is\, created the poll\, and suddenly we were all scheduled for a night of drills and… well\, mostly just standing around. \nThe “Grand” Arrival\nThe dedicated crew—Eno\, Tristan\, Baah\, and Pepe—rocked up with high hopes and low expectations. Arsenic arrived shortly after to drop the first bombshell: we didn’t actually have a court. But the plot thickened. It turns out BallBag wasn’t just late; he was at last week’s run location. Now\, that is a level of dedication to the past that I can almost respect. He missed the run so much he decided to go and do it solo\, seven days too late. Absolute gold. \nThe Sighting\nWhile we sat there hydrating with beers and waiting for the Hare to find the correct week on his calendar\, something miraculous happened. On the court directly in front of us was a perfect 10.\nI’m talking flawless. Every part of her was peak performance. Of course\, the reality check hit us harder than a 200km/h serve: none of us weary Hashmen would ever get so much as a sniff unless there was a parked bicycle seat somewhere nearby. \nFresh Meat might have had a chance if a bacon sandwich was involved\, but for the rest of us\, it was strictly a spectator sport. \nThe “Feast” and The Fallout\nBallBag eventually graced us with his presence\, confirmed for the third time that there was indeed no court\, and then did the unthinkable. He vanished. He didn’t even stick around for the gourmet catering—Dominos Pizza.\nHonestly\, it was a massive step down from the superior perfectly rotated snags and white bread with two types of onions so clearly he didn’t miss anything. \nFor the second week in a row\, we officially broke with tradition. Given the “scenery” on the court and the lack of a Hare\, we had no circle and no charges. Just a group of men sitting in the dark\, eating pizza\, and questioning their life choices. \nOnOn \n   \nhttps://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/WhatsApp-Video-2026-03-31-at-19.40.54.mp4
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/312-ball-bags-blundering-buffoonery/
LOCATION:Miami Tennis Club\, 26 Courtside Dr\, Mermaid Waters\, QLD\, 4218\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260408T080000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260408T170000
DTSTAMP:20260613T130402
CREATED:20260407T234136Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260407T234136Z
UID:5635-1775635200-1775667600@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#313 : BallBag's Ball Beating
DESCRIPTION:Our esteemed Patriarch actually managed to locate the correct destination\, on the right day\, and at the right time. Truly\, a miracle for the ages. In his usual professional coaching persona\, he put us through the expected drills; the only thing missing was a good planking. However\, judging by the way some of the boys were handled on the court\, they still left with enough bruises and sore spots to make a planking feel like a spa day. \nSpeaking of planking—and other physical exertions—news.com.au is reporting that men should be aiming for at least 21 “releases” a month to slash prostate cancer risk by 22%. Miscarriage made no bones about it\, promptly announcing his departure to go work on his “prostate health.” Godspeed\, you dedicated philanthropist. \nThe Awards Ceremony (or Lack Thereof)\nBaah Sinister took home Best Player of the Night. \nOur GM naturally secured Worst Player of the Night—consistency is key\, after all. \nYour humble scribe\, Eno\, nabbed Best Shots of the Night. Look\, just ask any happy woman on the Gold Coast; Eno always delivers the best shots when the sun goes down. \nDeep Thoughts and Deeper Balls\nThe core message from our coach tonight was simple: whatever we do\, the aim is to make our balls go deeper. This is a philosophy we apparently embraced last week too. We even took a five-minute pause under the gondola to reminisce about the “beautiful sights” from the previous run. Baah Sinister was so enamoured he suggested tracking down whoever made that booking to see if they were “cuming” again. Honestly\, the puns write themselves. \nThe Verdict\nThe night was ultimately salvaged by the spread provided by Ball Bag’s better half\, though it was tragically onion-free. When our GM wasn’t busy showing off his ballet skills with some Pepe Le Spew pirouettes\, he managed to bag a hat-trick. Not of goals\, mind you\, but of failing to organise a circle. That’s 3 for 3. At this rate\, he’s giving Albo a run for his money in the “useless leader” stakes. \nSpecial shout-outs to Tommy the Toucher—who showed up because there were no schoolkids around to bother during the holidays—and Arsenic\, who filled the role of quasi-assistant coach and designated ball carrier. \nNext Week\nThe Walking Dead are celebrating their 2\,500th run. If you’re planning on supporting them\, I’d suggest bringing a spare oxygen mask and perhaps some smelling salts. They might actually try to move faster than a tectonic plate for once. \nWe’ll see you there. \nOn On!
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/313-ballbags-ball-beating/
LOCATION:Tom Rose Park (HQ)\, 69 Wandin Street\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260414T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260414T203000
DTSTAMP:20260613T130402
CREATED:20260610T005420Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T005420Z
UID:5640-1776191400-1776198600@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#314 : No More Tennis Rally Run
DESCRIPTION:Well f&ck me\, it’s not often the walkers beat the runner’s home after a rendezvous in the middle of the bush….. \nNot sure if it was all the on backs\, the navigationally challenged front runners or the saboteuring walkers changing the trail markings but somehow WTFAI (yes\, his rash from his recent Asian “exploits” has cleared up) and Fresh Meat (walking because the Gourmet run the night before was so “hard”) cruised in to the on after 6.5km / 1hr 10min later wondering…..are the runners lost? \nOf course\, with our fearless leader (Pepe Le Spew) front running as usual the answer was simple\, yes\, the runners were lost!! I mean Pepe has only done 4\,512 runs in the forest so it’s really easy to miss the side passage back down to Tom Rose from the fire trail\, just ask Eno F$ck All & Y2KY Jelly. \nSure\, the walkers would say there was a big f$ck off check that the crew from Artemis II could have seen from the moon but hey when you’re a front running bastard you don’t sweat the small stuff like trail markings. \nIn the circle the well-marked trail was rewarded with a 6.9 from both the walkers and runners due partly to the shear amount of wildlife spotted on root\, which was expertly captured by our reserve Hash Flash\, followed by the usual spiteful and vindictive charges as we let loose celebrating our first circle under the new regime. \nIn a moving ceremony the impressive new Carlos Alcatraz Cup was presented to Baaah Sinister and the Voyeur award to Eno F$ck All for their efforts on and around the courts from the previous weeks. \nThe raffle was won by the hare (ArseNic) who was delighted with his “How to Play Poker” and the “Royal Tattoo” DVD’s. A fitting reward for all his efforts putting on another great night of hash and raising the question once again\, is the raffle rigged? \nNext week we do it all again as we remember those hash men who made the ultimate sacrifice as we pay homage to the ANZAC’s with a big hill\, two-up and the lighting of the fire. \nOn on\n🐏😈
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/314-no-more-tennis-rally-run/
LOCATION:Tom Rose Park (HQ)\, 69 Wandin Street\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260421T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260421T203000
DTSTAMP:20260613T130402
CREATED:20260610T005843Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T005843Z
UID:5642-1776796200-1776803400@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#315 : Baah's ANZAC Bash
DESCRIPTION:It was a night for the history books\, though most of us are trying to drink enough to erase the memory of that first incline. We kicked off Run #315 with the solemn notes of the bugle and the traditional Rum and Milk\, a fitting start for Baah Sinister’s Anzac Day Memorial Run. Little did we know\, that was the last bit of “fitting” the night would offer before the Hare decided to reenact a forced march through the trenches. \nThe hill at the beginning was enough to kill the fittest soldier\, but the Hare wasn’t done; he proceeded to lead us onto a Black rated bike trail that was clearly not fit for human presence. The only redeeming quality of the entire ordeal was the Port at the first drink stop. After that climb\, most of us were struggling to breathe\, let alone swallow\, but we persevered like the heroes we are. \nOnce the walkers ambled off\, the runners proceeded into the abyss. Nothing overly eventful happened until we stumbled upon the walkers\, who had apparently got lost behind enemy lines and managed to land right in the middle of the runners’ trail. To make matters worse\, Eno proved to be a back-running bastard yet again\, intercepting the trail between the front and back-runners. Speaking of the front\, our esteemed GM\, Pepe le Spew (or rather\, le Caca)\, couldn’t maintain his position and offered up a cacophony of excuses for his lack of pace. \nThe real challenge was the descent. Whatever goes up must come down\, and we found ourselves back at the first drink stop to finish the stashed Port. Once the Penfolds bottle was dry\, we headed down the hill where The Fuck Am I truly deserved his name; he found out exactly where he was very quickly\, which was on the floor. Twice. The good news is that Claret was spilt\, and thankfully it wasn’t the quality goon-bag port we’d just finished. \nMenstral heard there were hungry fish at the bottom so he rushed down the hill in his feet gloves – and got a charge for his over achieving\nThe drama continued when we discovered our base had been “attacked\,” forcing a retreat to HQ\, only to find the gates locked. After watching Arsenic take approximately 30 turns to maneuver his vehicle while Eno’s tiny car blocked the entire world\, we finally landed at Rotaract Park. We refuelled on an Irish stew prepared by Baah Sinister who thoughtfully brought toilet paper for Fresh Meat’s ride home. the usual charges were laid\, and the circle was closed. \nOnOn!
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/315-baahs-anzac-bash/
LOCATION:Tom Rose Park (HQ)\, 69 Wandin Street\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://covidhhh.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/WhatsApp-Image-2026-04-21-at-18.38.55.jpeg
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260428T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260428T203000
DTSTAMP:20260613T130402
CREATED:20260610T010512Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T010512Z
UID:5647-1777401000-1777408200@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#316 : Before ewe F&ck off Run
DESCRIPTION:Drink Start\, Drink Stop\, Drink Finish. \nEwe can imagine the shock and bewilderment of the assembled hash men when the hare explained there was in fact a trail and worse still\, we were expected to run it!! \nA night on his big deck (try saying that with a kiwi accent) thwarted the runners headed in the general direction of Highland Park Tavern only to be disappointed to find an arrow pointing up. \nAnd up\, and up and up we went so much so it was clear the hare had used his car to set the trail. To be fair it probably didn’t help that returning runner\, Derro Licked my Balls\, and Fresh Cum Balls decided to ignore all the clearly marked on backs adding an extra 6.9km to the run and a detour via Spoofs front yard. \nWe refrained from popping in for a cup of tea learning from an earlier issue with a cubby house that Derro Licked my Balls had taken a liking to. It turns out a kennel of hash men wearing black skull t-shirts and shining torches into people’s property is a bit of a red flag to the Highland Park neighbourhood watch who ended up chasing us down the street screaming…..go back to Beenleigh!!!! \nAfter a shiggy sojourn the smell of peanut butter overcame the pack meaning only one thing…….the Sheep Dog piss stop was near. Sure enough\, doing his best impression of a homeless man on a park bench\, was the hare (WTFAI) with his hip flask of the good shit and home brewed Cerveza beer. \nUnfortunately\, we arrived too late for a drink with Ballbag’s……or so we thought. Despite clear instructions from the hare\, a well-marked on home trail and a 30-minute head start somehow this young pup managed to make it back to where he started just in time for another Sheep Dog shot……. absolute hash genius!!!! \nBack in the circle the hare paid the price for setting a 6.9km (excluding on backs) / 1hr 16min run despite clearly advertising an evening of drinking on his big deck however the Sheep Dog fuelled walker scored it a 10. \nThe usual spiteful and vindicktive charges followed with the raffle won by ……everyone (yes\, Mrs Fresh Cum Balls wants her shed back)\, but not before Derro Licked my Balls was reunited with the now orphaned offspring of Bubbles who somehow survived the unfortunateness at the AGPU. \nWell done to the hare (WTFAI) for setting a great run/walk\, quality piss stop and 3 course banquet. Next week Derro Licked my Balls will be guiding us around some virgin bush from a mystery location on the coast as we celebrate the “May Day\, May Day” run.
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/316-before-ewe-fck-off-run/
LOCATION:WTFAI’s Dick (Deck)
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260505T080000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260505T170000
DTSTAMP:20260613T130402
CREATED:20260610T010748Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T010748Z
UID:5651-1777968000-1778000400@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#317 :  May Day May Day Run Mad Derro’s Beyond Thunderdome Run
DESCRIPTION:Well\, when you totally disregard the Trail Master’s well-timed and aptly named run\, all partakers would need to be convinced with a cold beverage on arrival to simmer tensions. And that’s exactly how Derrolicked My Balls managed this farce.\nNeedless to say\, the forest was a treat\, with some carefully selected trails having their virginity intact\, and fruits ripe for the picking – even if those fruits turned out to be sour lemons – touché Derro.\nIt certainly was the ‘thinking man’s run’ as the hare had hoped\, all runners thinking ‘how the fuck does all this shit get here?’ and ‘who would set a run in a fly tipper’s paradise?’\nA quick transfer from carpark to bbq facilities\, some strangely cooked sausages\, chips\, drinks\,circle\, vindictive charges and that run was a wrap.\nNext week’s run : Eno’s profusely apologetic Run. Details to come.
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/317-may-day-may-day-run-mad-derros-beyond-thunderdome-run/
LOCATION:Yarrayne Road Reserve\, 2 Yarrayne Road\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260512T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260512T203000
DTSTAMP:20260613T130402
CREATED:20260610T011055Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T011123Z
UID:5654-1778610600-1778617800@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#318 : KAOS and Control
DESCRIPTION:KAOS:\nYou wouldn’t fuckin believe it(in actual fact everyone believed it\, and most expected it as it is now an all too common occurrence) but the Hare(absentee) Eno decided to abandon ship at the 11th hour\, but to no surprise he actually wasn’t even on the ship to begin with. \nThe real surprise was the cause of all the Kaos\, non other than the trailmistress himself\, Arsey\, who had sacrificed half the fucking Covid hash to supplement his ill-gotten gains at his back alley\, speak easy gambling den. \nSome might ask: Where the fuck was the GM\, and how has he lost control after only 6 weeks in the job. Some might ask: Is Albo is a better leader than Lè Caca 🫢? But these questions can’t be answered as nobody knows where the fuck he is??? \nCONTROL:\nAfter a brief deliberation\, a coup d’état was achieved and all order restored. \nAfter a false start at the edge of the forest\, a more appealing adventure was set before us. The masses of hashers(4 brave souls) gathered at the rissole and then dispersed like fog\, into the night. The runners\, who for a brief moment achieved optimum heart rate\, eventually came across the walkers as they simultaneously entered the drink stop location(the commercial hotel). After a few technical difficulties\, the amber liquids were flowing “freely” as a $15 pub voucher took care of the jug. \nAt least 3 of us had heard enough shit talk 💩 and begged to start the return journey. Lucky for all involved it was all downhill with our bellies full of beer. It was the perfect storm of cooler temps\, just the right amount of booze\, the reward of pizzas\, and the perfect angle of repose\, which had our very own Ballbags flashing back to the first decade of his 45 years of hashing\, as he began literally sprinting home. The rest of us couldn’t keep up\, and so trailed him in. \nAfter a long circle that would make y2ky jelly’s spine tingle\, in which the usual spiteful and vindictive charges were laid\, the resounding words from the reports were “Run of the Year” or something along those lines. \nWe retreated from the carpark\, and into the true gambling den of Nerang\, with 500 pokies\, a tab or keno kiosk on every corner and nook and cranny of the place\, it’s no wonder there is so many homeless people around\, and the $27m upgrades speak for themselves. But the 2for1 pizzas were the real draw card. \nAll in all a top night for those who bothered to show. \nOn on to next week where another absentee hare will show us how it’s done. Over to you Cum Smoke
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/318-kaos-and-control/
LOCATION:Nerang RSL\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260519T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260519T203000
DTSTAMP:20260613T130402
CREATED:20260610T011421Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T011421Z
UID:5657-1779215400-1779222600@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#319 : The Poof\, I mean Puff of Smoke
DESCRIPTION:Let’s set the scene for this absolute masterclass in athletic excellence and organisational competence. Fresh Meat\, Pepe Le Spew\, WTFAI\, BallBags\, Tristan and Eno bravely faced the treacherous\, washed-out forest. \nSpeaking of bravery\, our esteemed GM\, Pepe Le Spew\, miraculously developed a highly convenient “injury”. Clearly\, this was a strategic masterstroke to avoid being completely shown up by our resident front-running bastard\, Tristan. Instead\, Pepe opted for a light-hearted stroll. Truly inspiring leadership right there. I guess at least he could still claim to be the front runner\, eh\, walker. \nThe weather eventually forced us to abandon the trail and take shelter in the Commercial. Because we are elite athletes\, obviously. While there\, Tristan decided the group was lacking in crippling financial addictions and generously funded bets on the dogs and the trots. WTFAI unveiled a supposedly foolproof system for picking winners which\, to absolutely no one’s surprise\, failed spectacularly. Eno\, however\, actually proved useful by calling and backing the winning number 8 while Tristan managed to collect on the trots. Throw in some beer\, chips and Eno’s surprisingly brilliant jokes; it was a solid detour. \nWe eventually dragged ourselves back to the end of the run for the usual charges. Just as we were settling in\, a hoon came careering around the corner. Pepe\, displaying his usual poetic eloquence\, muttered out loud\, “What a cunt.” For once\, he was spot on. \nThe reckless driver was none other than our MIA Hare\, Cum Smoke. The man has been missing for an eternity yet had the absolute audacity to show up at the very end and claim ownership of a run he neither set nor attended. To top it off\, he was wearing a shirt with his own name misspelled. Given his impeccable timing\, we can only assume he spent the entire evening parked in his Ute\, blasting Tradie FM and watching handicapped dwarves go at each other on PornHub. \nWe wrapped up the night at our second HQ\, the Nerang RSL. Here we were treated to a captive audience session\, mostly just listening to the endless stories of our own Traveling Wilbury. \nAll things considered – a bloody great night. \nOnON
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/319-the-poof-i-mean-puff-of-smoke/
LOCATION:Rotoract Park\, 2 Balyandro Drive\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260526T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260526T203000
DTSTAMP:20260613T130402
CREATED:20260610T011748Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T011748Z
UID:5660-1779820200-1779827400@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#320 : Noah Approved
DESCRIPTION:Well\, after much agonizing deliberation – spearheaded by the know-it-all Eno – we actually managed to drag ourselves to Tom Rose HQ. \nA moment of silence\, please\, for Arsenic. He stepped up to cover for Cum Soc and laid what we can only assume was a masterpiece of a trail. Sadly\, it was completely washed away by the flash floods. We all know it would have been glorious. It would have featured perfectly regimented 50-meter markings\, incredibly strategic false trails on-backs and everything else you’d expect from a masterclass in trail laying. Alas\, nature had other plans. \nAfter re-deliberating our life choices given the genuinely treacherous way we entered the park through the back door\, a few brave hashmen scouted the water level at the initial river crossing. They returned with reports of literally seeing Noah and his ark floating casually downstream. Naturally\, we made the only logical decision: abandon ship and head to our second HQ at the Nerang RSL. \nLittle did we know that escaping Tom Rose Park would be harder than prying the lid off one of WTFAI’s home brews. Those with all-wheel drive finally got to justify their vehicle purchases. Unfortunately\, our GM Pepe Lespew – who should probably be renamed “Pepe I sew mud everywhere” and Eno weren’t quite so lucky. \nEnter Fresh meat. Pausing only to put down his bacon sandwich\, our hero produced a monkey wrench (are we still allowed to call it that in this day and age? Just checking). He then proceeded to go to town on the nuts of some unlucky Pole. Get your minds out of the gutter\, you filthy pigs. I’m talking about removing the bolts and nuts from a wooden shaft to unlock the gate so the rest of the peasants could drive out. \nAll was not lost. While the forest spiders had clearly all drowned\, we did manage to stumble upon Spider-Man waiting for us at the Nerang RSL. We held a quick circle on the first floor fuelled by budget-priced Tun Light. Times are undeniably tough at the Covid Hash\, but not as tough as having to endure Arsenic’s second attempt at a hash song. Sung to the tune of La Cucaracha\, he swapped the lyrics to La Pepe and expected us to drink it down\, down\, down. Frankly\, I think most of us would have preferred to down actual arsenic at that point just to end the auditory suffering. \nThankfully\, Eno saved the day with a really well-crafted joke about the Lone Ranger\, his faithful companion Tonto and a posse. Ballbags\, in true form\, completely missed the innuendo. Being a good sport\, he whipped out the journal he carries everywhere and made a physical note to remember to bring his sense of humour next time. In his defence\, the entire night was already a joke. \nWe wrapped things up with two-for-one pizzas\, an incredible Balter black at a bargain $8.50 a schooner and genuinely good company. A good feed three weeks in a row at our new HQ is a solid effort. The only thing missing was a big cunt GANT. \nSee you all next week when we try to find something else to do. \nOn on\,
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/320-noah-approved/
LOCATION:Tom Rose Park (HQ)\, 69 Wandin Street\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
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DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260602T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260602T203000
DTSTAMP:20260613T130402
CREATED:20260610T012018Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T012018Z
UID:5663-1780425000-1780432200@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#321 : The Countdown Run
DESCRIPTION:We kicked things off at Budds Beach this time around. After last week’s absolute shenanigans trying to navigate our way out of Tom Rose\, the committee collectively decided that sticking to tar and concrete was a much safer bet for everyone involved. \nWhat was originally scheduled as a committee run quickly turned into a massive “aha!” moment for the pack. It turns out the “countdown” title wasn’t some cryptic masterpiece; it literally referred to 3\, 2\, 1\, matching the exact number of the run. It didn’t take a high IQ to figure that one out\, but tracking that logic seemed to be a monumental achievement for this group. Then again\, they all seemed far more interested in slamming down chilli flavoured tequila than paying any attention to the incredible neurology transpiring right off the back of a full moon. \nThe Trail: Walkers\, Runners and Parasitic Hares\nA walk and a run were set for the night. The walkers headed off in one direction while the runners took another\, eventually crossing paths at a beautifully planned intersection as we wound our way through into Surfers Paradise. \nThe runners managed to push through the bulk of their trail with a surprising lack of cheating and only a normal amount of shortcutting. The real hurdle was the constant irritation buzzing in the back of the hare’s mind that the local barbecues might get automatically switched off at 8:00 pm. As it turned out\, the barbecues were still firing away at 9:00 pm. This doesn’t say much for our hare’s local knowledge\, but he had just stepped off a plane from the UK where he was drowning himself in unpasteurised Guinness\, so we can comfortably chalk it up to a severe case of Guinness brain. \nThe walkers had a brilliant time on what initially scored as a highly rated trail. That was until our resident hare confessed that he didn’t actually lay or set a single piece of the trail. The bloke had merely acted as a total parasite on the gourmet hashes run from the previous night! Come to think of it\, those markings looked way too clean and clear to ever be the work of someone like Baah Sinister. \nThe circle delivered its usual brand of madness with plenty of charges being thrown around. Our favourite Canadian somehow found himself nominated to stand in front of the hot plate cooking up the snags. He did so under the incredibly watchful\, micro-managing eye of Eno to ensure maximum turning of said snags and chopped onions. We are thrilled to report these were served up with fresh white bread and cheese. \nThe down-downs opened the floodgates for an immense amount of shit-talking regarding upcoming colonoscopies (and no\, Tristan\, that is not the same thing as a colonic irrigation). This medical banter highly inspired our Leader to live up to his namesake and go take a massive CaCa in a remarkably clean public toilet. \nBallbags completely missed out on a spectacular gourmet meal and a fantastic walk\, but hey\, it is what it is. \nThe Raffle:\nThe raffle wrapper delivered a world-class outcome. Our two favourite soccer supporters were forced to don the clothing of their current favourite team\, Arsenal. \nThere was only one glaring issue with Freshmead’s purchase: he had clearly gone shopping in the kiddies’ department. This structural limitation wasn’t about to stop Baah Sinister from attempting to squeeze his way into the gear. I am incredibly pleased to report that through sheer determination\, he succeeded. Meanwhile\, our Canadian friend looked like he was revisiting the birthing canal just trying to force his head through the neck hole of his shirt\, but he persevered and got it on. \nAll in all\, it was another brilliant night out with the crew. Good beer\, good food\, good walking\, goodbye. \nOnOn
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/321-the-countdown-run/
LOCATION:Budds Beach\, 33 River Drive\, Budds Beach\, Australia
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260609T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260609T203000
DTSTAMP:20260613T130402
CREATED:20260610T012233Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T012233Z
UID:5666-1781029800-1781037000@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#322 : The Un-Named Virgin Run
DESCRIPTION:And what a run it was; Tristan\, our to-be-named hasher\, wanted to show that he is worthy of being an esteemed member of the Covid Rehash. \nAfter arranging an incredible pour down from the skies\, our RA wanted to opt-out for some warm Nerang Pizza but still manned up and showed up to enjoy the glorious rain he created. The same cannot be said for Anthony Albanese\, I mean Pepe; I had them confused due to their similar leadership style. Derro stayed home to lick his balls\, but boy oh boy did they miss out. \nOnto the Run\nTristan got laid by arguably one of the best virgins\, I mean laid a virgin; oh fuck it\, he had a great first run. \nIt started with a pre-run drink. Then he was considerate enough to create a bridge over troubled waters so that there was no excuse for checking out the creek and backing out. But there was still some backing out; WTFAI\, who rocked up in a pair of denim shorts (Jorts)\, decided that he was too dry after crossing the bridge and went for a swim. After the referee checked the replay\, it would appear he may have been assisted by the hare falling over and pulling him down\, but that does not explain him getting up and throwing himself back in the drink again. Typical soccer supporter trying to get his opponent carded.\nThis was the first claret spill of the night as he had a hissy fit and went home to change his tampon and put on a dry pair of adult diapers\, sorry\, more jorts; later on he was charged for this\, not the hissy fit\, but for owning more than one pair of jorts! A red card served best! \nThe remaining runners and walkers continued. After a gruelling and very wet trail\, we arrived at a drink stop. Our clever hare decided that this would be the point where the runners would continue on and the walkers would do a U-turn and return home. \nAfter pushing through more off-trail bush and crossing another creek\, the runners got to the end of their run and were greeted by another drink stop! Talk about overachieving. \nThe hare had advised at the start that due to the weather conditions he could not continue laying a trail home\, so we then proceeded on the longest on-back in hash history. At this stage\, further claret had been spilt by Baah Sinister and Fresh Meat. Not wanting to feel left out\, the hare threw himself to the ground as if the ghost of WTFAI had tripped him up and joined the bleeders. This was indeed a yellow card moment. \nThe Aftermath\nOn arriving back\, expecting to see the walkers\, Ballbags and Arsenic\, sitting waiting for us\, we were a bit worried as they were not there. Thankfully WTFAI was there\, (with a bottle of the Real McCoy)\, returned as it was previously mentioned\, as both Eno and Tristan’s car keys were in his car. Instead of going to look for the lost hashers\, we decided it was better to drink and snack. \nEventually the walkers arrived and we are pleased to say that even more claret had been spilt\, after the RA decided to join the bleeders. So a total of four visual bleeds and one vaginal bleed means that five of the seven of us bled out; talk about a slaughter of a run. The only thing missing on this virgin run was Tits on the run. \nIt did not end there; Tristan’s wife decided we would need some warm comfort food and prepared a cock feed for us\, sorry\, a Coq pasta (Cocotte de poulet) that was super tasty. \nAll in all\, virgin runs have been ruined\, and arguably some normal ones too. Charges\, raffles and a good time was had by all.\nA huge well done to the should-be-named-by-now-but-hasn’t-so-maybe-this-is-his-hash-name-but-it-is-too-long-for-a-t-shirt-so-we-will-call-him-tristan-for-short on an incredible virgin run. \nOnOn
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/322-the-un-named-virgin-run/
LOCATION:Tom Rose Park (HQ)\, 69 Wandin Street\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
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