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VERSION:2.0
PRODID:-//COVID ReHash House Harriers - ECPv5.11.0//NONSGML v1.0//EN
CALSCALE:GREGORIAN
METHOD:PUBLISH
X-WR-CALNAME:COVID ReHash House Harriers
X-ORIGINAL-URL:https://covidhhh.com
X-WR-CALDESC:Runs for COVID ReHash House Harriers
BEGIN:VTIMEZONE
TZID:Australia/Melbourne
BEGIN:STANDARD
TZOFFSETFROM:+1100
TZOFFSETTO:+1000
TZNAME:AEST
DTSTART:20260404T160000
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TZNAME:AEDT
DTSTART:20261003T160000
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260512T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260512T203000
DTSTAMP:20260715T162723
CREATED:20260610T011055Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T011123Z
UID:5654-1778610600-1778617800@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#318 : KAOS and Control
DESCRIPTION:KAOS:\nYou wouldn’t fuckin believe it(in actual fact everyone believed it\, and most expected it as it is now an all too common occurrence) but the Hare(absentee) Eno decided to abandon ship at the 11th hour\, but to no surprise he actually wasn’t even on the ship to begin with. \nThe real surprise was the cause of all the Kaos\, non other than the trailmistress himself\, Arsey\, who had sacrificed half the fucking Covid hash to supplement his ill-gotten gains at his back alley\, speak easy gambling den. \nSome might ask: Where the fuck was the GM\, and how has he lost control after only 6 weeks in the job. Some might ask: Is Albo is a better leader than Lè Caca 🫢? But these questions can’t be answered as nobody knows where the fuck he is??? \nCONTROL:\nAfter a brief deliberation\, a coup d’état was achieved and all order restored. \nAfter a false start at the edge of the forest\, a more appealing adventure was set before us. The masses of hashers(4 brave souls) gathered at the rissole and then dispersed like fog\, into the night. The runners\, who for a brief moment achieved optimum heart rate\, eventually came across the walkers as they simultaneously entered the drink stop location(the commercial hotel). After a few technical difficulties\, the amber liquids were flowing “freely” as a $15 pub voucher took care of the jug. \nAt least 3 of us had heard enough shit talk 💩 and begged to start the return journey. Lucky for all involved it was all downhill with our bellies full of beer. It was the perfect storm of cooler temps\, just the right amount of booze\, the reward of pizzas\, and the perfect angle of repose\, which had our very own Ballbags flashing back to the first decade of his 45 years of hashing\, as he began literally sprinting home. The rest of us couldn’t keep up\, and so trailed him in. \nAfter a long circle that would make y2ky jelly’s spine tingle\, in which the usual spiteful and vindictive charges were laid\, the resounding words from the reports were “Run of the Year” or something along those lines. \nWe retreated from the carpark\, and into the true gambling den of Nerang\, with 500 pokies\, a tab or keno kiosk on every corner and nook and cranny of the place\, it’s no wonder there is so many homeless people around\, and the $27m upgrades speak for themselves. But the 2for1 pizzas were the real draw card. \nAll in all a top night for those who bothered to show. \nOn on to next week where another absentee hare will show us how it’s done. Over to you Cum Smoke
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/318-kaos-and-control/
LOCATION:Nerang RSL\, Australia
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260519T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260519T203000
DTSTAMP:20260715T162723
CREATED:20260610T011421Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T011421Z
UID:5657-1779215400-1779222600@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#319 : The Poof\, I mean Puff of Smoke
DESCRIPTION:Let’s set the scene for this absolute masterclass in athletic excellence and organisational competence. Fresh Meat\, Pepe Le Spew\, WTFAI\, BallBags\, Tristan and Eno bravely faced the treacherous\, washed-out forest. \nSpeaking of bravery\, our esteemed GM\, Pepe Le Spew\, miraculously developed a highly convenient “injury”. Clearly\, this was a strategic masterstroke to avoid being completely shown up by our resident front-running bastard\, Tristan. Instead\, Pepe opted for a light-hearted stroll. Truly inspiring leadership right there. I guess at least he could still claim to be the front runner\, eh\, walker. \nThe weather eventually forced us to abandon the trail and take shelter in the Commercial. Because we are elite athletes\, obviously. While there\, Tristan decided the group was lacking in crippling financial addictions and generously funded bets on the dogs and the trots. WTFAI unveiled a supposedly foolproof system for picking winners which\, to absolutely no one’s surprise\, failed spectacularly. Eno\, however\, actually proved useful by calling and backing the winning number 8 while Tristan managed to collect on the trots. Throw in some beer\, chips and Eno’s surprisingly brilliant jokes; it was a solid detour. \nWe eventually dragged ourselves back to the end of the run for the usual charges. Just as we were settling in\, a hoon came careering around the corner. Pepe\, displaying his usual poetic eloquence\, muttered out loud\, “What a cunt.” For once\, he was spot on. \nThe reckless driver was none other than our MIA Hare\, Cum Smoke. The man has been missing for an eternity yet had the absolute audacity to show up at the very end and claim ownership of a run he neither set nor attended. To top it off\, he was wearing a shirt with his own name misspelled. Given his impeccable timing\, we can only assume he spent the entire evening parked in his Ute\, blasting Tradie FM and watching handicapped dwarves go at each other on PornHub. \nWe wrapped up the night at our second HQ\, the Nerang RSL. Here we were treated to a captive audience session\, mostly just listening to the endless stories of our own Traveling Wilbury. \nAll things considered – a bloody great night. \nOnON
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/319-the-poof-i-mean-puff-of-smoke/
LOCATION:Rotoract Park\, 2 Balyandro Drive\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260526T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260526T203000
DTSTAMP:20260715T162723
CREATED:20260610T011748Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T011748Z
UID:5660-1779820200-1779827400@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#320 : Noah Approved
DESCRIPTION:Well\, after much agonizing deliberation – spearheaded by the know-it-all Eno – we actually managed to drag ourselves to Tom Rose HQ. \nA moment of silence\, please\, for Arsenic. He stepped up to cover for Cum Soc and laid what we can only assume was a masterpiece of a trail. Sadly\, it was completely washed away by the flash floods. We all know it would have been glorious. It would have featured perfectly regimented 50-meter markings\, incredibly strategic false trails on-backs and everything else you’d expect from a masterclass in trail laying. Alas\, nature had other plans. \nAfter re-deliberating our life choices given the genuinely treacherous way we entered the park through the back door\, a few brave hashmen scouted the water level at the initial river crossing. They returned with reports of literally seeing Noah and his ark floating casually downstream. Naturally\, we made the only logical decision: abandon ship and head to our second HQ at the Nerang RSL. \nLittle did we know that escaping Tom Rose Park would be harder than prying the lid off one of WTFAI’s home brews. Those with all-wheel drive finally got to justify their vehicle purchases. Unfortunately\, our GM Pepe Lespew – who should probably be renamed “Pepe I sew mud everywhere” and Eno weren’t quite so lucky. \nEnter Fresh meat. Pausing only to put down his bacon sandwich\, our hero produced a monkey wrench (are we still allowed to call it that in this day and age? Just checking). He then proceeded to go to town on the nuts of some unlucky Pole. Get your minds out of the gutter\, you filthy pigs. I’m talking about removing the bolts and nuts from a wooden shaft to unlock the gate so the rest of the peasants could drive out. \nAll was not lost. While the forest spiders had clearly all drowned\, we did manage to stumble upon Spider-Man waiting for us at the Nerang RSL. We held a quick circle on the first floor fuelled by budget-priced Tun Light. Times are undeniably tough at the Covid Hash\, but not as tough as having to endure Arsenic’s second attempt at a hash song. Sung to the tune of La Cucaracha\, he swapped the lyrics to La Pepe and expected us to drink it down\, down\, down. Frankly\, I think most of us would have preferred to down actual arsenic at that point just to end the auditory suffering. \nThankfully\, Eno saved the day with a really well-crafted joke about the Lone Ranger\, his faithful companion Tonto and a posse. Ballbags\, in true form\, completely missed the innuendo. Being a good sport\, he whipped out the journal he carries everywhere and made a physical note to remember to bring his sense of humour next time. In his defence\, the entire night was already a joke. \nWe wrapped things up with two-for-one pizzas\, an incredible Balter black at a bargain $8.50 a schooner and genuinely good company. A good feed three weeks in a row at our new HQ is a solid effort. The only thing missing was a big cunt GANT. \nSee you all next week when we try to find something else to do. \nOn on\,
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/320-noah-approved/
LOCATION:Tom Rose Park (HQ)\, 69 Wandin Street\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260602T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260602T203000
DTSTAMP:20260715T162723
CREATED:20260610T012018Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T012018Z
UID:5663-1780425000-1780432200@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#321 : The Countdown Run
DESCRIPTION:We kicked things off at Budds Beach this time around. After last week’s absolute shenanigans trying to navigate our way out of Tom Rose\, the committee collectively decided that sticking to tar and concrete was a much safer bet for everyone involved. \nWhat was originally scheduled as a committee run quickly turned into a massive “aha!” moment for the pack. It turns out the “countdown” title wasn’t some cryptic masterpiece; it literally referred to 3\, 2\, 1\, matching the exact number of the run. It didn’t take a high IQ to figure that one out\, but tracking that logic seemed to be a monumental achievement for this group. Then again\, they all seemed far more interested in slamming down chilli flavoured tequila than paying any attention to the incredible neurology transpiring right off the back of a full moon. \nThe Trail: Walkers\, Runners and Parasitic Hares\nA walk and a run were set for the night. The walkers headed off in one direction while the runners took another\, eventually crossing paths at a beautifully planned intersection as we wound our way through into Surfers Paradise. \nThe runners managed to push through the bulk of their trail with a surprising lack of cheating and only a normal amount of shortcutting. The real hurdle was the constant irritation buzzing in the back of the hare’s mind that the local barbecues might get automatically switched off at 8:00 pm. As it turned out\, the barbecues were still firing away at 9:00 pm. This doesn’t say much for our hare’s local knowledge\, but he had just stepped off a plane from the UK where he was drowning himself in unpasteurised Guinness\, so we can comfortably chalk it up to a severe case of Guinness brain. \nThe walkers had a brilliant time on what initially scored as a highly rated trail. That was until our resident hare confessed that he didn’t actually lay or set a single piece of the trail. The bloke had merely acted as a total parasite on the gourmet hashes run from the previous night! Come to think of it\, those markings looked way too clean and clear to ever be the work of someone like Baah Sinister. \nThe circle delivered its usual brand of madness with plenty of charges being thrown around. Our favourite Canadian somehow found himself nominated to stand in front of the hot plate cooking up the snags. He did so under the incredibly watchful\, micro-managing eye of Eno to ensure maximum turning of said snags and chopped onions. We are thrilled to report these were served up with fresh white bread and cheese. \nThe down-downs opened the floodgates for an immense amount of shit-talking regarding upcoming colonoscopies (and no\, Tristan\, that is not the same thing as a colonic irrigation). This medical banter highly inspired our Leader to live up to his namesake and go take a massive CaCa in a remarkably clean public toilet. \nBallbags completely missed out on a spectacular gourmet meal and a fantastic walk\, but hey\, it is what it is. \nThe Raffle:\nThe raffle wrapper delivered a world-class outcome. Our two favourite soccer supporters were forced to don the clothing of their current favourite team\, Arsenal. \nThere was only one glaring issue with Freshmead’s purchase: he had clearly gone shopping in the kiddies’ department. This structural limitation wasn’t about to stop Baah Sinister from attempting to squeeze his way into the gear. I am incredibly pleased to report that through sheer determination\, he succeeded. Meanwhile\, our Canadian friend looked like he was revisiting the birthing canal just trying to force his head through the neck hole of his shirt\, but he persevered and got it on. \nAll in all\, it was another brilliant night out with the crew. Good beer\, good food\, good walking\, goodbye. \nOnOn
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/321-the-countdown-run/
LOCATION:Budds Beach\, 33 River Drive\, Budds Beach\, Australia
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260609T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260609T203000
DTSTAMP:20260715T162723
CREATED:20260610T012233Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260610T012233Z
UID:5666-1781029800-1781037000@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#322 : The Un-Named Virgin Run
DESCRIPTION:And what a run it was; Tristan\, our to-be-named hasher\, wanted to show that he is worthy of being an esteemed member of the Covid Rehash. \nAfter arranging an incredible pour down from the skies\, our RA wanted to opt-out for some warm Nerang Pizza but still manned up and showed up to enjoy the glorious rain he created. The same cannot be said for Anthony Albanese\, I mean Pepe; I had them confused due to their similar leadership style. Derro stayed home to lick his balls\, but boy oh boy did they miss out. \nOnto the Run\nTristan got laid by arguably one of the best virgins\, I mean laid a virgin; oh fuck it\, he had a great first run. \nIt started with a pre-run drink. Then he was considerate enough to create a bridge over troubled waters so that there was no excuse for checking out the creek and backing out. But there was still some backing out; WTFAI\, who rocked up in a pair of denim shorts (Jorts)\, decided that he was too dry after crossing the bridge and went for a swim. After the referee checked the replay\, it would appear he may have been assisted by the hare falling over and pulling him down\, but that does not explain him getting up and throwing himself back in the drink again. Typical soccer supporter trying to get his opponent carded.\nThis was the first claret spill of the night as he had a hissy fit and went home to change his tampon and put on a dry pair of adult diapers\, sorry\, more jorts; later on he was charged for this\, not the hissy fit\, but for owning more than one pair of jorts! A red card served best! \nThe remaining runners and walkers continued. After a gruelling and very wet trail\, we arrived at a drink stop. Our clever hare decided that this would be the point where the runners would continue on and the walkers would do a U-turn and return home. \nAfter pushing through more off-trail bush and crossing another creek\, the runners got to the end of their run and were greeted by another drink stop! Talk about overachieving. \nThe hare had advised at the start that due to the weather conditions he could not continue laying a trail home\, so we then proceeded on the longest on-back in hash history. At this stage\, further claret had been spilt by Baah Sinister and Fresh Meat. Not wanting to feel left out\, the hare threw himself to the ground as if the ghost of WTFAI had tripped him up and joined the bleeders. This was indeed a yellow card moment. \nThe Aftermath\nOn arriving back\, expecting to see the walkers\, Ballbags and Arsenic\, sitting waiting for us\, we were a bit worried as they were not there. Thankfully WTFAI was there\, (with a bottle of the Real McCoy)\, returned as it was previously mentioned\, as both Eno and Tristan’s car keys were in his car. Instead of going to look for the lost hashers\, we decided it was better to drink and snack. \nEventually the walkers arrived and we are pleased to say that even more claret had been spilt\, after the RA decided to join the bleeders. So a total of four visual bleeds and one vaginal bleed means that five of the seven of us bled out; talk about a slaughter of a run. The only thing missing on this virgin run was Tits on the run. \nIt did not end there; Tristan’s wife decided we would need some warm comfort food and prepared a cock feed for us\, sorry\, a Coq pasta (Cocotte de poulet) that was super tasty. \nAll in all\, virgin runs have been ruined\, and arguably some normal ones too. Charges\, raffles and a good time was had by all.\nA huge well done to the should-be-named-by-now-but-hasn’t-so-maybe-this-is-his-hash-name-but-it-is-too-long-for-a-t-shirt-so-we-will-call-him-tristan-for-short on an incredible virgin run. \nOnOn
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/322-the-un-named-virgin-run/
LOCATION:Tom Rose Park (HQ)\, 69 Wandin Street\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260616T183000
DTEND;TZID=Australia/Melbourne:20260616T200000
DTSTAMP:20260715T162723
CREATED:20260617T005815Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20260617T005815Z
UID:5669-1781634600-1781640000@covidhhh.com
SUMMARY:#323 : The Mazda Run
DESCRIPTION:Hash Trash: Run #323 – The Mazda Run\nOff the back of arguably one of the best virgin runs in hash history\, our expectations were high. Naturally\, reality hit hard. Not one but two hares failed to even set a run. The only saving grace for the evening was a questionably priced port served out of a goon bag at the drink stop. Classic. \nWe all headed out as one pack; and in true Arsenic fashion\, a slight uphill was immediately put into play. Fuck me days\, that is pretty much how long it took to get up there. Following along on a loosely outlined verbal trail\, our other master guide\, Jelly\, led from behind. He successfully managed to steer Fresh Meat\, Eno\, Pepe and Derro down a fire trail. Yes\, you read that right\, our happy wanderer was actually back. Exciting stuff. \nThe pack eventually split after missing a log of doom; an infraction that was later reverse-charged onto poor Eno\, because apparently it did not qualify as a true log of doom. Despite the chaos\, we all somehow landed up at 5 points for that infamous port stop. Lo and behold\, Baah Sinister was already there waiting with Arsenic. Talk about being late to the party. \nThe On-Afters\nBack at the On-afters\, we got to enjoy Fresh Meat’s new fire pit. Because our “smashed Avo” was in charge of the grub\, we were treated to vegan burgers. Do not panic though; some real meat was snuck in there for good measure. \nThe real highlight of the evening was a bit of political drama. Our previous GM called out our current GM for missing the historic virgin run and stripped him of the Yellow Jacket on the spot. A clearly visually wounded Pepe Le Spew (aka Caca) thought it was entirely unfair that this little absence resulted in a full impeachment; but he soon lit up like a little boy the day before Christmas when he was presented with the new official Hash GM jacket. What a beauty it is too; it even comes with an attached bottle opener. \nSpecial Mentions\n\n\nWTFAI: Our official firestarter is going under the knife for a procedure on Thursday so he has completely stopped drinking before the big day. Consequently\, his numerous aqua down downs were a bit of a washout. Mind you\, it was nothing like his actual washout; I mean wipeout; from last week. Thankfully he was only wet on the inside this time\, and it was highly noted that he was wearing quick-drying shorts this week instead of the infamous Jorts. \n\n\nArsenic: Speaking of caca\, Arsenic managed to turn a Green Snake brown on the trail. He pulled off a full ballerina jump right over a snake; talk about a real log of doom. \n\n\nFor those of you currently watching your waistlines\, brace yourselves. The co-hares will attempt to set another run next week\, so stay tuned. \nOnOn
URL:https://covidhhh.com/run/323-the-mazda-run/
LOCATION:Tom Rose Park (HQ)\, 69 Wandin Street\, Nerang\, QLD\, 4211\, Australia
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