#280: Covid Re-Hash Golf Championship

1.45pm, the 198 metre Par 3, 17th hole at Emerald Lakes Golf course. Baaaaaah Sinister steps up to the blue tees and…….boom……….the greatest drive in the history of ………golf. Tee to Green, say no more and I mean that because as we all know putting stories are not interesting and who really cares which team won the hole, it really didn’t matter after such a great shot. The day started with Breakfast Burgers (yes, Smokie was there for that bit) & Beers followed by the terrifying first tee drive in front of the club house gallery. Surprisingly we all made it past the ladies tees, saving our dignity temporarily. The teams were clearly selected by the GM as the two most experienced players (both had played a round of golf that week) partnered against a motley crue of degenerate golfers who hadn’t played in decades including the notorious anti-golfer, Y2KY Jelly, who didn’t even bother to bring a set of clubs (to the ire of the Intercourse Manager) and who unfortunately decided to go commando for the day to the detriment of his playing partners as we saw not only crack but sack on his many down trou’s. Despite the injustice of the team selection it was a close match until the 13th whiskey hole where despite collapsing in a heap post golf club on your head spin, WTFAI continued with his right down the middle driving (boring). The local wildlife only wished Team Motley Crue were as accurate as a number of ducks were maimed and I fear killed in their attempts to keep our balls out of the water. 18 holes of proper golf clearly wasn’t enough for this kennel so the competition continued onto the mini golf course. Despite claiming to have never played the course somehow WTFAI knew every angle taking a handy lead into the final hole but luckily the winner takes all final hole rule was applied resulting in a four way play off with FreshMeat channeling his inner Tiger to score a hole in one on the second extra hole. Back at the clubhouse Fresh Meat was crowned the Covid Re-Hash 2025 golf champion and presented with his modest three tier trophy but in an unfortunate twist he has been sleeping in the dog house ever since for ignoring his wife’s request to “never see that bloody thing again!!!”. Well down to the hare (WTFAI) for organising such a great day of hash.