#278: Tommy’s Bush Reach-around

With much sadness the Covid Re-Hash wishes to announce the passing of our founding father and legendary hash man Ballbag’s……or at least he will be if he ever forgets to fully charge his torch before the walk again…….coz we will f$ckin kill him.

But hey, aren’t torches in the forest overrated, I mean there was enough 2 ply toilet paper hanging over every literally every tree in the forest to satisfy a plane load of returning Bali Belly holidaymakers.

Well as it turns out when you’ve had over 118 years of hash experience clearly the best way to exit the forest when your torch gives up on you halfway through the walk is to……completely ignore the trail and walk up the nearest densely forested hill !!!!

Luckily Ballbag’s fell down at least three ditches which slowed his ascent to nowhere which probably ended up saving him but in his defence those Front Walking Bastards (Y2KY Jelly & WTFAI) haring off on the walk didn’t help but thank God for all round top bloke and Trailmaster extraordinaire (Baaah Sinister) for saving the day (or at least Ballbag’s) with the walkers returning to the on after in a spritely 1hr 15min covering over 4km.

As you can imagine in the circle the charges flowed as we drowned Ballbag’s in Tun Mid but not before the runners scored the trail a 9.9 but discounted it by 3.0 as it was missing about 3km in distance. The walkers were clearly still in a state of shock and forcing them to relive their ordeal was way too soon so a 6.9 was also recorded.

Well done to the hare (Thomas the Toucher) for finding virgin trail that we all agreed we will never ever use again along with the cheese slice inspired nosh.

In a twist no one saw cumming the circle ended with Ballbag’s handing out print outs of “how to set trail and make friends at the same time”……

Next week we do it all again with Fresh Meat guiding us around virgin bush in the notoriously flat suburb of Maudsland. If anyone  has a spare Apple AirTag let me know…….asking for a friend.