#290: Giddy Up Melbourne Cup

Giddy up indeed. Straight from Melbourne Cup festivities the half cut kennel rocked up to the “real” home of the hash, Royal Cascade Gardens, to the clear delight of Y2KY Jelly and Ballbag’s.

As they regaled everyone with stories of the “good old days from the gardens” we had to abruptly cut their stories short otherwise we may never had got the run on the road. With clear instructions to the walker (Ballbag’s) of “work it out for yourself if you lose trail”, the runners embarked of a bushy sojourn around the Gardens fully expecting to cum across our favourite Octogenarian much earlier on root but to everyone’s surprise we only caught up to him on the Oceanway just in time to share the most important run instructions of the night, “were going to the pub.”

Unfortunately, Y2KY Jelly was refused entry into the Broadbeach Bowls baah for having too much pubic hare on his chest so we were relegated to VB’s (it’s non-Tun, so I guess it was a quality piss stop) outside on the greens.

In the circle we all agreed Ballbags was way too quick in cracking all the checks, but it sounded like he did the whole trail, even nipping into the massage parlour for a quick rub & tug (claimed he was only following the arrow) and catching a show at the Pink Flamingo. To be fair even the cops tried to slow him down, mistaking him for the notorious nursing home escapee “Kevin” but when questioned Ballbag’s was able to provide a visual demonstration of how he earned his hash name which seemed to be all the ID the crack team from CSI Broadbeach could handle.

As for the scores, well Ballbag’s loved his eventful 1hr 10min on trail and gave it an 8 out of 10 however surprisingly, considering we thought “Cascade f$ckin Gardens” was a term of endearment, Y2KY Jelly only gave it a 1 but on countback an overall 6.9 was recorded due to the quality piss stop.

The evening wrapped up with the usual spiteful and vindicative charges but not before a few quick games of table football with our newfound, and very well organised, South American friends.

A special mention to Eno F&ck All for concealing a black wooden dildo key chain up his arse to evade Australian customs. The holiday “present” was well received by the GM who went into way too much detail on the ways he is going to use it.

Next Tuesday we do it all again with Arsenic and the Remembrance Day run.