#303: Arsey’s belated birthday bush bash

Well, as usual the 6.30pm run set off when the hare (Arsenic) could be arsed turning up but in what can only be described as an inspired innovation he started the run with a drinks stop!!!

As the hare explained the trail he claimed flour would be sighted from five ways which was strange coz it had actually rained earlier in the day and we noted that this hare on occasion (every time) had a tendency to claim “very isolated thunderstorms” washing away markings but didn’t seem to be claiming it this time which we thought was really odd.

Talking of odd, it was at this moment the GM (Fresh Meat) decided to share what can only be described as one of the most racist jokes ever in Covid ReHash history. Thank God our newly appointed Cultural Attaché (I forgot his name again) was on hand to remind the GM that as an inclusive hash we take onboard all cummer’s……including kiwis.

Back on trail flour was indeed sighted to the amazement of the kennel resulting in what some would say was the perfect run of 6.9km over 69 minutes (apparently this genuinely happened but I can’t confirm it coz the bush nicked my watch) but the bloke with a very strong South African accent give it a rather appropriate 6.9.

In the circle the usual spiteful and vindictive charges were dispensed along with concerns regarding Rosemary’s carpet followed by the first (and hopefully the last) rendition of the Covid ReHash 300 run song. Despite Ballbag’s claiming it was a “banger” some hash men (Pepe) felt there were not enough/any references to shitting in the bush and some suggested we leave the bush discharge to the ladies.

The raffle was won by the Cultural Attaché who I think is from South Africa based on his excited reaction to the book he won and WTFAI won a whisky decanter thanks to holding ticket #69.

As tradition dicktates the night closed with a rousing rendition of “hashy birthday” to the hare whose 54th birthday was at least a month earlier despite the fact the GM’s birthday was last Sunday!!!

Well done Arsenic on laying an epic trail, birthday beers and awesome inseminated paella rice. Next week we celebrate two birthdays, Australia’s and Fresh Meat’s, from a mystery location on the coast as Cum SOC proves once and for all were dumb, were dumb, were really f*ckin dumb.

On on
Baaah Humbug