#322 : The Un-Named Virgin Run

And what a run it was; Tristan, our to-be-named hasher, wanted to show that he is worthy of being an esteemed member of the Covid Rehash.

After arranging an incredible pour down from the skies, our RA wanted to opt-out for some warm Nerang Pizza but still manned up and showed up to enjoy the glorious rain he created. The same cannot be said for Anthony Albanese, I mean Pepe; I had them confused due to their similar leadership style. Derro stayed home to lick his balls, but boy oh boy did they miss out.

Onto the Run
Tristan got laid by arguably one of the best virgins, I mean laid a virgin; oh fuck it, he had a great first run.

It started with a pre-run drink. Then he was considerate enough to create a bridge over troubled waters so that there was no excuse for checking out the creek and backing out. But there was still some backing out; WTFAI, who rocked up in a pair of denim shorts (Jorts), decided that he was too dry after crossing the bridge and went for a swim. After the referee checked the replay, it would appear he may have been assisted by the hare falling over and pulling him down, but that does not explain him getting up and throwing himself back in the drink again. Typical soccer supporter trying to get his opponent carded.
This was the first claret spill of the night as he had a hissy fit and went home to change his tampon and put on a dry pair of adult diapers, sorry, more jorts; later on he was charged for this, not the hissy fit, but for owning more than one pair of jorts! A red card served best!

The remaining runners and walkers continued. After a gruelling and very wet trail, we arrived at a drink stop. Our clever hare decided that this would be the point where the runners would continue on and the walkers would do a U-turn and return home.

After pushing through more off-trail bush and crossing another creek, the runners got to the end of their run and were greeted by another drink stop! Talk about overachieving.

The hare had advised at the start that due to the weather conditions he could not continue laying a trail home, so we then proceeded on the longest on-back in hash history. At this stage, further claret had been spilt by Baah Sinister and Fresh Meat. Not wanting to feel left out, the hare threw himself to the ground as if the ghost of WTFAI had tripped him up and joined the bleeders. This was indeed a yellow card moment.

The Aftermath
On arriving back, expecting to see the walkers, Ballbags and Arsenic, sitting waiting for us, we were a bit worried as they were not there. Thankfully WTFAI was there, (with a bottle of the Real McCoy), returned as it was previously mentioned, as both Eno and Tristan’s car keys were in his car. Instead of going to look for the lost hashers, we decided it was better to drink and snack.

Eventually the walkers arrived and we are pleased to say that even more claret had been spilt, after the RA decided to join the bleeders. So a total of four visual bleeds and one vaginal bleed means that five of the seven of us bled out; talk about a slaughter of a run. The only thing missing on this virgin run was Tits on the run.

It did not end there; Tristan’s wife decided we would need some warm comfort food and prepared a cock feed for us, sorry, a Coq pasta (Cocotte de poulet) that was super tasty.

All in all, virgin runs have been ruined, and arguably some normal ones too. Charges, raffles and a good time was had by all.
A huge well done to the should-be-named-by-now-but-hasn’t-so-maybe-this-is-his-hash-name-but-it-is-too-long-for-a-t-shirt-so-we-will-call-him-tristan-for-short on an incredible virgin run.

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