COVID XXXX (XL)

Run Report

What bullshit this run was…

I’m not too sure why this run was labelled wrong. It might have been a set up as trail-master Ballpoint  knows I hate XXXX, ‘so let’s stick it to the Queenslander!’.

No such fucking-thing as RUN XXXX.

I played along because Bograt kept the conversation going on the emails, and as the hare, you want to garner as much interest as possible. It should be noted, Y2KY Jelly chimed in without correction. So it was left to the run brief for the Hare to ascertain whether this was one big joke on him, or this hash is as incompetent as we all suspected, (which is why we joined!).

RUN XXXX correction: RUN XL –  the after-Chrissy run for all you fat bastards!

Unfortunately there were no fat bastards to run the XL run – just fit young runners; Pepe Le Spew, Ian ‘Coups’ Cooper, Zane (the Suspected Infected visitor from Wollongong). Not an XL shirt in sight. Also present was CumSmoke™ who fervently stated he is training his athletic body for the 3XL Run, and GM Ballbag, who sustained an ankle injury running away with lollies he stole from special kids wearing stack hats. He was later overheard asking ‘Christ, do they call them special because they run so bloody fast?’

The trail was incredible. By all accounts “a perfect run with little room for improvement, therefore ArseNic® deserves the rightful position as Run-of-the-Year for 2020 (in the inauguration year of the Covid Hash) with a perfect 10”, exclaimed Ian ‘Coups’ Cooper in his first and final run report for the year. The GM was right to question the score, and even tried to coax a 9.5 out of him, but with beer in hand Coups stood his ground and retorted “If you hadn’t such a sweet tooth GM, you’d be in a position to dispute the score, but in all my days running hash, I have never run a finer run without a proper hash name.”

ArseNic® received a string of downdowns for berating the proposition of a fine dinning experience in Nerang with the aforementioned Hashmen and guest. “Not after the pizza search debacle of two weeks prior!” ArseNic® exclaimed in a high-pitched excited tone. At that point ArseNic® got a few more downdowns for no fucking reason. The GM told Zane a crazy story from his loony-tunes catalogue of Hashing shenanigans – couldn’t remember a joke to tell in the circle, so closed up and fucked off mumbling as he shuffled. CumSmoke™ took his light home, so Pepe Le Spew closed the circle and Zane’s last words to the now still and dark Tom Rose Park, “I’m glad I’m going back to The Real Covid-19 in The Gong!” – Seething comment in retrospect, but alas he might be right!

ArseNic® (Hare, Scribe, Hash Cash and every other bloody role that night, because of all hash excuses I received from the no-shows)